Should he walk me to my car in the dark?

Question

My question is, after a date, should my boyfriend walk me to and from my car at night when it is dark?

He thinks it is ridiculous that I ask this of him, and says I am "living in fear", "paranoid", and that I am "distrustful of the world". He tells me we don't live in some huge city, and I have a better chance of winning the lottery than having something happen to me while walking alone.

I am just trying to keep myself safe, not to be ridiculous and unreasonable. It actually kind of hurts my feelings that I have to ask him to do this to begin with, (he said he'd start walking me to and from the car when it's dark, but he's not happy about it, and says he doesn't understand why I need him to do this), not to mention that he makes me feel like I am being absurd by attempting to keep myself as far from harm as I possibly can.

By not wanting to walk by myself at night in the dark and asking my boyfriend to escort me to the car, am I being outrageous and asking too much?

Answer 1

Ditch him
You are not being unreasonable and he is being uncaring.
Long term it spells bad news if he can not make such small efforts for you.

Answer 2

One thing is for certain, if he does not see the inherent risk in allowing you to walk yourself in the dark, he is certainly not concerned for you at all.
I have taken the RAD Women course several times. You are at risk to become a victim of violence simply because you are a woman. 90% of self-defense is using risk-reducing strategies. Reduce your risk by having a TRUSTED man walk you.

If he is not a man and acts like this one does, be aware of what is around you at all times. Approach the door with only one key in your fingers ready to be used (any more than this interlaced in your fingers and you risk breaking your fingers.) Walk with your head up and confidently. Don't look like a victim or an easy target. Ask that he drop you off at a phone or a lighted public place so that you can call someone to escort you home. Please dont let him leave you in the dark. Don't second guess yourself either. You know what is best for you!
What a selfish jerk who has absolutely no clue. Next time, drive you own car and drop him off or meet him. This means any date. Until you are married you have no idea who he is and if you can trust him with your safety. You must take responsibility for it. Ok, maybe not until you are married, but you get the picture by now. I am serious. Don't allow yourself to be put in a position where you do not have control of the situation and of your own safety. Ever heard of Ted Bundy? Wow, what a gentleman.

Answer 3

I don't think asking/expecting a safe escort to your car is outrageous, unreasonable or whatever else your bf may call it; seems to me you're being cautious, which is wise, given the way the world is these days. In fact, if I were you, I would insist that my bf walk me to my car and if he acted as if I was being ridiculous, he'd not be my bf very much longer...

Answer 4

Um ... he does understand COMMON Courtesy doesn't he? This is not being paranoid -- this is being safe -- and to ask so little (sounds like you do trust him that much) is not asking for much at all.

It does not matter where you live nowadays -- crimes happen rurally, in suburbs and cities. As a Long Time Single (was a Long time a single before a short disaster of a marriage -- then long time single parent), I always taught my children that there is SAFETY in Numbers -- and to make sure to be observant, and for my son to help his sister by being courteous and making sure she was safe when she went to after school activities (meaning -- wait there for her and make sure she and he came to the car together).

So trust your feelings, and park in as lighted or public an area as possible, and if you are not comfortable getting to your vehicle after dark, then do not go there after dark. It is that simple.

Answer 5

Your man is supposed to make you feel secure and apparently you dont feel that way, you shouldnt have to ask him. When me n my girls go out they make sure i am in the house before they drive away just because you never know what can happen.

If he doesnt give you the sense of security that you need then let him know and then find a man that puts your feelings and SAFETY into consideration.

Answer 6

night or daii ur bf should alwaiis walk u to ur car after a date no matter wot its common curtisy its just the right thing to do and for u to b conserned about u being safe is perfectly fine tell him to get ova himself and the walk will do him sum good exercise...xoxo

Answer 7

Let him be a man and walk him to ur car

Answer 8

He sounds like a real "man"....most guys would insist on it. Get some mace and a new boyfriend.