i am leaving my 5 year old and my 2 year old with their dad to attend a wedding ceromony in india. i quit my job 6 years ago to take care of my childern and after that i havent left them ever. i mean i go shopping, i take them , i go to school with them. only time they are without me is when i go to the doc.but then they stay with their dad. they have never slept without me. i sleep with them in a big bed and my hubby sleeps across the hall. cause the bed isnot big enough for 4 of us. please tell me what should i do so they are properly taken care of? i will not send them to school these 5 days. and i have kept a nanny. but do you think i sholud cook their dinner before hand or let my hubby take them to his office? or should i let go of the chauffer(i dont trust anyone).and at night what will i do for them? should i make a big mommy doll for them? please give me ideas. moms who have left their children behind for a trip, please please advice.
2006-11-17 18:23:47 · 12 answers · asked by atahsina 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
i am not making this up. i live in india and any middle class family has nannys and chauffers. you dont have to be rich to have help in india. also in india children almost all the time sleep with their parents. it is quite normal. we love kids more than our hubbies.
2006-11-17 18:38:19 · update #1
call an aunt or grandmother in your family to sleep and stay with them when your husband goes to work because husbands are at work and cant always keep an eye on things. when you get back bring some presents, they will love it!
2006-11-17 18:27:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do think, if it's really important for you to go the the wedding, you'll have not choice but to leave the children with your hubby.
BTW how come you are sleeping with your children. Where's the problem? Do you need to sleep with them or do the children need you? Why can't the children go and sleep in the hall? Is the bed not big enough for you and your hubby together?
I would rather cook their dinner before hand and let hubby take care of them.
Why make a big mommy doll for them when their dad will be with them? I would have asked the dad to dedicate more time with them... playing games , taking them out to restaurants etc
2006-11-18 02:48:42 · answer #2 · answered by Meemee 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Bite the bullet and trust some other people with them (especially their dad). You're not doing them ANY favors by being so clingy. They are old enough to sleep on their own, and your poor husband! He sleeps across the hall??!! Children need to know that their parents have a good relationship, it will make them feel more secure. You're not showing them that at all, you're teaching them that only mommy matters. Go on your trip and cut the umbilical cord (finally) while you're gone. It's amazing you've kept any of your sanity for this long. I'm a stay at home mom too, but you need some space for you! It's healthy.
2006-11-18 02:28:41 · answer #3 · answered by A W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm... that's not what you said in a previous question. This sounded odd, so I checked your previous questions. You said just 3 weeks ago that you sleep with your hubby. Something fishy here.
Another of your questions here: "A very personal question...?
all my life i have been afraid to sleep alone. i shared a room with my brother and after 18 i had my own room. even then i used to stay awake all night or sleep with lights on. sometimes my parents found me sleeping on the floor of thier bed. this was really embarressing. now i sleep with my hubby but when he is away i stay awake all night. i am scared that i might fall asleep and something or someone will kill me.i was so scared the other day that i called my parents at 3 at night and went to their place with my kids. this happened when my hubby was away. this is quite humilating cause i am 30 now. at day time i forget everything and not a bit scared.please help since my hubby has gone abroad for a week and i dont want to call my old mom."
So which is it? Something isn't right about your story. I don't believe you!
2006-11-18 02:43:22 · answer #4 · answered by Tickle Monster 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god!! You are over-protective?? You will spoilt your kids and they will never be able to live a normal healthy lifestyle. You should learn to let them go on their own and do whatever the same age should be doing, and not being so selfish and cling to your kids like a super glue. Both of them will eventually realise that the world is so big and not just with mummy alone. I suggest you better trust your hubby by now. Treat him better and go to India for the wedding. When you return, you will find everything is going to be just fine.
2006-11-18 03:34:27 · answer #5 · answered by hswee 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok...first of all...they'll be fine. You're worrying way too much. There is no reason to take them out of school while you're gone. In fact, I think that is a mistake. They need to keep their normal schedule so they don't just sit at home and twiddle thier thumbs all day. They should be active and kept entertained. Dad should be perfectly capable of taking care of the kids while you're not there, and if he's not, then you're not allowing him to be a father. As for thier meals...it might be a good idea to make up meals to have in the freezer for dad to take out and warm up. As for the big mommy doll...please tell me you're kidding!!! That is the most obsurd thing I have ever heard. Those kids need to have thier own rooms, own beds and own space. I don't think you're doing them any favors. Losen up a bit, will ya!! And when you get back you'll find they did just fine w/out you.
2006-11-18 02:34:58 · answer #6 · answered by farmersdaughter 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all, you need to send your kids to school. It will help them adjust to your absence alot better if they follow their normal routine. Next, take a trip to the grocery store. Plan breakfasts, lunches, and dinners for every day you will be gone and pick up the ingredients. Get things that will be easy for your husband to make. You need to have trust in your husband. Leave a set of numbers, emergency guidlines (what to do if your child shoves a crayone up his/her nose, etc.)Have a friend or family member check in on the kids and your husband every other day and then give you a progress report via e-mail or a set telephone time. The most important thing that you need to do, is have your kids sleep in their own beds. I let my daughter sleep with me for years, and she got used to it. I finally had to enforce the issue when she was 9. To help your kids adjust to sleeping in their own beds by taking them to pick out new bedding and a nightlight. If they're excited about those things, it'll be easier to have them sleep in their own rooms. Slowly adjust them to sleeping on their own. Say on Tuesdays one can sleep in the bed and Thursday the other can sleep in the bed. On the other days they will sleep alone. Eventually, they will get adjusted to the idea and won't come into your room very much. Another thing would be to have them lay down and try to sleep in their own room for about an hour, and if they can't fall asleep, then they can come in your room. Praise them if they make it a whole night on their own. All these things I have mentioned will help both you and your children adjust to your absence. Hope this helped!
Additional answer: I don't know how Indian society works, but it is a fact that children who are coddled too much are emotionally stunted and will be less independant in later life. Yes children are important, but if you take too much care of them and not enough attention to your husband, you're just going to cause problems in your marriage and your whole way of life. Your children are living basically in a bubble. They need to experience life without constant attention from their mother. I'm not meaning to be rude or mean, I'm simply laying down the facts for you. Take it or leave it.
Even More: You just said that you live in India, but I also checked your previous questions and it said that the wedding is in India and it has always been your dream to go there. Whats going on here?
2006-11-18 02:35:16 · answer #7 · answered by lostinabook24 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They do not sleep in their own beds?
This is not a good practice and thses kids will never learn to be independant or learn to live a normal life..
You need to ease up and raise them like "normal" people raise children..
I am an overprotective mom, but there are some things that just cross the line into insainity..
Please relax and get yourself into a psychologist before you damage these children mentally any longer..
Your husband is ok that he has to sleep in a different room than you?
In a way, I hope this "problem" is imaginary or made up for your entertainment..
2006-11-18 02:28:22 · answer #8 · answered by The Chesire Cat 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
it sounds like you have an unhealthy relationship with your kids. they will be fine. you need to get a little time away from the kids. it is not bad to have some alone time. They should definitely be sleeping in their own beds by now too. cut the cord.
2006-11-18 02:26:39 · answer #9 · answered by Adam B 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Let me get this straight. Your husband sleeps in a different room.
your children sleep with you.
That is not right.
you have a nanny that you don't trust. why don't you trust their father?
you have issues. I really hope you are fake.
2006-11-18 02:30:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋