after 18 long yars of my life of marriege me and my wife separeted with 2 lovely daugthers,a business,a carer,car,house. it wasn't easy but my ex treat me like mr invisible and i choose to endup the relationship,after the separation she endup having a love relationship with her best friend but after 9 months is finish and i moved on with my life but she comes looking for me asking me for favors,the children wants to see me...etc..but she never asks me to get back and is hurting me.i have feelings for her but i feel that she is using me.why does she looking for me all the time? i want more than that.i hate been in this situacion.is she realy wants to get back? and if so why does not ask me? or could she still be with the other man and hiding from me for the sake of the children.i am not asking her to get back now because when she was with the other man and i ask her ,she turn me down.how long should i wait for her to ask me?
2006-11-17 17:08:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No, don't go back to her but do not end your relationship with your children. See them several times a week even if it means you see your ex in the process. You left your wife, not your kids.
2006-11-17 17:12:42 · answer #1 · answered by eightieschic 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sometimes women are complex creatures.. i agree (and I am one)..however.. this relationship "with her" has ended and now YOU need to think of number one.. ie you.. well along with your number one children! Sometimes woman and or people .. look back to their past partners when things all go t*ts up! For all the "bad" they maybe saw during the relationship..they seem to forget it when they are feeling low & lonely & vulnerable! How dare she play with your heart strings. I could probably put my mortgage on it, that if you went back.. it wouldn't work ..and all that she says now would suddenly change. You've done the hardest part..you've left..now it's time to move on. Sometimes the things that are right for you, aren't always the easiest.. and I am sorry you are having to go through this hard time. The main thing is that the children shouldn't suffer..but it is now time for mummy and daddy to move on in their adult lives .. and go their separate ways.. whilst hopefully maintaining an amicable setting for the kids. I wish you well in his hard time.. and in time .. hopefully you will meet someone else and be happy/happier.. please remember now.. a/ just because someone else has done something doesn't mean to say another will do the same b/there are plenty more fish in the sea and c/ life is too short.. take care x
2006-11-17 17:28:04 · answer #2 · answered by loulou 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that she necessary wants to get back with you. But at the same time she doesn't want you to lose touch with your children. However the fact that she is asking you for favours when she has other man, does seem a bit cheeky.
However I realise that you love her, but as she hasn't asked you to get back with her, you need to stop thinking that she will, just get on with you life, look after your children and enjoy your life.
I'm not saying that you have to get a girlfriend (only if you want to)but go out with your friends find new interests and don't dwell on her
2006-11-17 21:05:35 · answer #3 · answered by Baps . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't wait move on let yourself be happy. Find yourself new friends, not necessarily female, new hobbies, a new life if you like. Try and distance yourself from her, not always be available to her. Not your kids though they are yours and deserve no less.
Cut the favours out she is using you. Very selfish cold lady I think. I know it will be hard but you are still being tortured and she seems to be happy pulling all the strings.
Life is too short get out there and get happy.
2006-11-17 19:02:15 · answer #4 · answered by currynut 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In my perspective life is too short to keep egos and love at stake, ask yourslef if you can forgive her and forget about the hurt she has caused you, once you are in total honesty about your feelings fr her, get up and go to her and sit down with her and ask her face to face if she wants to come back, no dilly dalling, no games nothing but the plain truth, depending on her ans you can take it from there.
2006-11-17 19:48:46 · answer #5 · answered by haboba13 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
can relate to parts of that.
ignored...there cant of been too much communication goin on between you 2 then?
she has fling...why not? ...im not surprised you didnt. youve said you want more.. you sound like you still have strong feelings towards her.
now she wants you to have more of an active part in her life..'come round too see kids' means she wants you in the family household..she's not said come pick the kids up.
she probly wants you to open up and tell her what you want..sounds like she still wants you..
show her this answer..
and even if im totally wrong it will get you 2 talking properly again
drop me a line when you move back in..
2006-11-17 19:11:01 · answer #6 · answered by simon_b 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
this is going to still be very raw for you. you know the real answer its move on with your life BUT i know that is not what you want to hear 18yrs is an unbelievable amount of time to devote to your wife and daughters then for it to end this way must be like your world caving in asking us lot is not helpful for you you will only receive the same answer please distance yourself from her then she wont see you as good old dependable ************ (your name) please be strong and give it time she may come back who knows but whilst you are her "doormat" she will wipe her feet all over you mine so sorry not to give you the answer you so desire but its a truthful one
2006-11-18 10:57:21 · answer #7 · answered by no nonsence 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why would you want to go back to her i don't think she made you happy in the first place. you should spend time with your kids and find a new girl that like you for you and not what you can do for them. good luck x
2006-11-17 21:40:31 · answer #8 · answered by debbie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
forget this woman she is only about herself. Find yourself someone else or just start enjoying your life ther is life without women. or men.
2006-11-17 19:16:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'll never get your answer unless you ask. ASK HER.
2006-11-17 22:47:52 · answer #10 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋