im a stay at home mom but recently i have been letting my daughter go over her dads for 2-4 hours and he stays with his girlfriend and she has a little girl and boy that are about 3 and 4 years old but it seems as though these past couple of days my daughter has been humping her pillow or her doll and and she shows no signs of sexual abuse but im concerned that either him and his girl friend have no respect for my daughter and do stuff in front of her or im afraid that her little boy might be "playing" with her and i dont know how to get my daughter to understand that it isnt right for her to do that or how to approach the father about it without sounding accusing but protective.
(this is my first child and im stressed with another on the way by the same guy so please be helpful and refrain from making stupid comments)
2006-11-17 17:04:24 · 11 answers · asked by littledebbyg 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
we are not married we were going to be but unfortunatly i was pregnant by him and i split up with him before i knew i was pregnant and the reason i said it might be her little boy was cause my ex SAID her son is always asking about my daughter and when my daughters over there the little boy excludes his sister and my ex says his girls daughters bad i thought nothing of it until i seen her purposely leaving the room to hump a pillow and she doesnt talk as much as she should cuz i could ask her any question and her answer would be no
2006-11-17 18:46:12 · update #1
when he calls to see how she is doing...just start off by saying "well, i dont know whats wrong with her but lately she has been getting on top of her pillows and dolls, and i told her that it is wrong and not to do it any more".... then he'll say something, then you ask him "she hasnt been watching any rated-r movies, when she's with you, right?" then go from there. it could be movies and it could be that they get dirty in front of her (thinking she's little and she doesnt know....which is lame) but then again it could be those kids....those kids could of learned it or seen others do this act and so they could be trying to imitate ,what they have learned, on her. does she speak a little?? usually around this age they always point fingers..ask her who did she see do this?? or who tried doing this to you (which could be those kids)? tell her it is wrong and that you better not see her do it again....and she will definetly know how serious you are with body language and facial expressions (so sound mad). and if you see her at it again, slap her hand and say"NO!!".....hopefully i helped...take care and good luck, god bless
2006-11-17 17:27:29 · answer #1 · answered by LoVeLy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My son is 23 months also and he has started to do somewhat of the same thing in the bath tub. Kids at about this age start to learn that certin things "feel good". Don't disapline her for it she'll get the wrong message. Just teach her that there are some things that need to be done in private. If she is leaving the room to do it then you have already won half the battle. If you are concerned you should still talk to her dad. If nothing else he should be aware fo what is going on in the littel girls life and that he should reinforce the privacy issue.
2006-11-17 18:51:20 · answer #2 · answered by Ethans Mom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell the father what she is doing, right away (away from his gf) tell him you are concerned & ask if he is intimate w/ gf when she is around ask him to subsatin also if he says no tell him he needs to always have a eye on his daughter!!!! Take your daughter to the doctor for a exam, after she visits dads, they will be able to tell if there has been any foul touching, this is extremlly important!
Also, yes these can be signs of sexual abuse, & if the little boy is as you said playinng with her that is Sexual abuse, stnad up for your daughter & be a mother!!
2006-11-17 17:11:50 · answer #3 · answered by notAminiVANmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think that her little boy has something to do with it,you are wrong.I have a 4 year old and there is no way that my 4 year old knows what it is.Kids do staff without knowing what they are doing.They pick up fast .Definitely keep an eye on her.Check her from head to toe every time she comes back from her dads place.Ask her questions.She should be talking by now.See if she does other strange things,then talk to her dad.Be Conservative about it,right now it may be nothing.
2006-11-17 17:49:50 · answer #4 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard people call it things like flower, privates and many other things. But honestly. It is what it is. Children are children, they are honest and just a sponge at what they pick up around them. I think if you call it vagina and teach them respect and its not something to just blurt out... it would be fine. my two daughters asked about it and what it was called and what about boys. I told them. But when you teach them to respect what they have and respect for others they will understand one day. At 2 years old they are just more curious and could probably care less about making it funny. They just want to know. Remember they react on your reaction. Good luck and do whats comfortable for you.
2016-03-29 00:14:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every reason to be concerned. Any number of things could be going on, negligent or intentional sexual activity between her father and his girlfriend, exposure to sexually explicit programs on cable or video, or abuse by one or both of the other children or an adult. Clearly you daughter has been inappropriate exposed to sexual behavior that will become a permanent part of her psyche and could result in emotional problems and promiscuity in the future.
Listen to your inner voice and do whatever it takes to protect her,
including sacrificing your free time and his visitation at his house.
2006-11-17 17:16:52 · answer #6 · answered by Maddy Waddy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your husband has a girlfriend???
Honey you need to lose this creep and get a court order so he can never come near your daughter ever again.
He sounds like a grade A pervert to me.
2006-11-17 18:31:17 · answer #7 · answered by daryavaush 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I disagree with the individual who says that 4yo do not know what they are doing....an average 4yo I would agree....but a 4yo who has been exposed to sexually explicit behavior especially if it is his mothers will act out events he has witnessed....we had a foster child in our care who was 4yo and would act out....yes he did not know what he was doing, but he would still act out what he has seen....4 to 6 yo love to play act and they replicate what they see in life....
2006-11-18 03:33:21 · answer #8 · answered by OwlGirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well she could have seen it-- but LOTS of kids do that kind of stuff. Kids learn that touching and rubbing down there feel good at a much earlier age than most parents think. Dont teach your kid it's wrong- just teach her that it's something you do alone in your room..
2006-11-17 17:11:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
from everything i read i learned that this is quite normal, you need to explain to her that this is someting that is private, my daughter did this and i went and read, because i thought that somebody might be abusing her, but from what i read is that its just her being curious about her body so i explained privacy but she was about four years old your babies not even 2 yet
2006-11-17 17:55:04 · answer #10 · answered by Nicole 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋