Guilt me into not moving? My bf& I have been together for a few months,& love one another. Well, I decided back in May..a month before we began a relationship, that I was moving back to my hometown in December, & going to find another job. I recently graduated college, & would feel more comfortable being at home in a familiar environment, while I get my start out in "the real world". Well, my decision was made before he even came into the picture. Now, he's claiming that the only reason I want to move back home is to party with friends (not true), do what I want to do (I do anyway), and he's been telling me that if I move, he doesn't see how our relationship will last. Now, i've been in long distance relationship before, and it lasted for two years, so I know that I can handle this. So now, i'm starting to wonder if i'm making a mistake by moving. Am I being unfair by not taking him into consideration...even though the decision was made before we ever got together?
2006-11-17 16:59:04 · 13 answers · asked by LibraT 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What is your priority in life now? Career, or relationship or managing both. Based on this evaluate if it is worth your efforts either way...moving or not moving! Good luck!!
2006-11-17 17:03:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Decisions are never etched in stone. It's totally your life. You want to move - move. You want to stay - stay.
You're still young enough to not know that long distance - doesn't work for many, many reasons.
If you go, don't do it because you already made the decision - do it because its what you want to do. Not what he, your family or friends want - what you want.
If you stay - stay for you. Its not like you won't have opportunities there either. Sometimes, being out of your comfort zone challenges you to be a better person. If you do stay, live separately for a while to see how you do as a relationship and to give each other space when you both need it. (All couples need space).
I lived in my hometown until my early 30's. Had I have moved away earlier - I'd have been stronger sooner. I'd have known more about the world and people in general. The world isn't a bad place.
I left living in the US 6 years ago...and have never looked back. My comfort zone is where my laptop, doggie and husband are - and not always in that order ;-).
2006-11-18 01:09:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Relationship/companionships are nice. But, it sounds like to me you are at an age where you need to still be selfish, while you have the chance. When you are "married" have "children", you can no longer move here, fly there, ponder jobs etc. Because, the more responsibility, the more bills, the more stability needed, the more what you do having an impact on someone else.
Therefore, LIVE!...and LEAVE! You are to young to allow a relationship to dictate such a major move in your life; especially when you already had your mind made prior to meeting him. Just think it through, be smart and do what you know in your heart is best for you LONG TERM. This is a time in your life you will not get back, in terms of laying a foundation for your career and life. The MAN will come...
2006-11-18 01:06:06 · answer #3 · answered by Lady Albritton 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have to do what you feel is right for your own sense of well-being. Just tell him these plans were made long before you met him. If he can't (or won't) accept or believe that, then he is not the one for you. If this issue is a problem with him, rest assured, other matters will become a big problem, too.
2006-11-18 01:06:14 · answer #4 · answered by bellegurl17 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have not been with him long enough for him to be dictating your life's plans. Do what you know will benefit you the best. Make the move. If that works, you're ahead, if it doesn't work you can always move back. But in either case, if he does not support you, he is self centered and controlling. I wish you the very best.
2006-11-18 01:08:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think he is the one being unfair talking to you that way!!! dont ever second guess your self, you made the decision to move before he came along so go a head and do it. if he cant support you in your decision then he doesnt love you anyways.lol.
2006-11-18 01:04:22 · answer #6 · answered by thinkofmealwayslver 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've only known the guy for a few months...
I don't think you should change your whole life around just because of one guy you haven't been with for that long.
Now with an engagement or a marriage, that's a different story.
But that shouldn't happen just because you're moving.
Take it slowly.
2006-11-18 01:01:11 · answer #7 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it sounds as though your guy may just be having insecurity problems. In which case he is just going to have to grow up a little bit. Explain to him everything that you just told us on here, & see what he says from there. Either he is going to have to understand, Or it is going to have to end, & you are going to have to be the strong one through this......I really wish you luck in this circumstance.
2006-11-18 01:06:09 · answer #8 · answered by sis_jk27 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think if you really loved him there wouldn't even be a question here. I think you should go do what you want to do before you get too serious.
2006-11-18 01:03:37 · answer #9 · answered by DonnaJ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WELL YOU GOT TO DO WHAT U GOTTA DO YOU SAID UR TRYING TO GET READY 4 THE REAL WORLD BUT IN THE REAL WORLD UR ON UR OWN SEEMS 2 ME YOUR RUNNING 2 SHELTER JUST MAKE THE DECISION THATS RIGHT 4 U IS IT REALLY LOVE OR JUST A THANG THAT WILL PAST???????????????????????????????????????????
2006-11-18 01:07:06 · answer #10 · answered by LAKENDRA 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋