So me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for a year and 3 months. He left for college at fall. I feel like we loved each other before he left. As time progressed it felt like things were beginning to die down. He sometimes not call me at night because he was at parties or hanging out with friends.and he doesn't call as much..and we don't even talk in the day..it's more of a "goodnight, i love you, bye." As his girlfriend I trust him and I don't say anything and let him go to parties, get drunk, or whatnot and I understand he is busy with school work so I have gotten used to the fact he cannot call me during the day. I am the type of person who does not trust my feelings, I usually forgive and let things go..and I am learning to speak up. This is my first long distance relationship. Last night he called me and he said he's going to go clubbing, he got a fake ID and all that. I really don't like that idea..but i let him go with a "okay have fun!"..is it wrong to feel hurt?
2006-11-17 16:22:50 · 8 answers · asked by Antigone 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
no its not wrong to feel hurt cuz he is neglecting u. he would rather go out to have fun than spend a lil time to talk with u. if he really loved you he would try to find the time to give u a call and such. and college is not that busy. there's always time to call during the day.
2006-11-17 16:25:36 · answer #1 · answered by 2dogs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO, it is NOT wrong! HE knows your "passive" attitude so he will use that to the fullest. YOU must obtain "excitement" about yourself so he can remain interested. YOU go and stop answering the phone sometimes. STOP being readily available for him and let him wonder what is going on with you.
YOU are too familiar to him now. HE knows he has you and you will not let go. SO he does his thing.
HE has gotten to college and trying to be "wild" under pressure. He may still love you, but a film is over his eyes right now.
BUT TRUST is one thing, but passiveness is another.
YOU MUST TEACH PEOPLE how to TREAT you. IF you allow things to keep going and you are sitting at home hurting, wondering, etc---who will miss out? YOU!! 'CUZ he sure 'ain't!
GET up! GET busy with other things--not necessarily other men. Cuz rebound relationships DO NOT WORK! But just get busy learning WHO YOU ARE and stop worrying about him. BEING a better YOU will allow you to see talents or interests unfold that you may not have recognized in yourself. Take a dance class, something "funky" or something else that involves others so you will be too tired to think of him. IT will be hard at first, but do it! Ignore a phone call or two. Then call him when You have time. YOu can call him back within the hour or so, but don't be readily available. MEN find that BORING! They know you will always be there, so they explore who else may not. I am NOT saying he is cheating, because I don't know. I am saying he does not seem real concerned about you because he already has you fully.
Let him think you are interested in other things....you may turn that situation around. YOU do not want to develop a "convenient home town" love; meaning when he is away, he does whatever, but when he is home he has a SURE THING. AT LEAST make him THINK sometimes. STOP Being so available1
2006-11-17 16:34:17 · answer #2 · answered by L B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO. its not wrong to feel hurt. maybe you feel like your life is at a stand still while his is moving on. I know that feeling. You have to trust your feelings Hun. remember he is in college and that is normal behavior for a college kid. I cant tell you what he is doing because i have no clue. If it gets to be too much maybe you could take a little break from him and maybe go on a date or two. I don't want to hurt or scare you, but college is a very stressful time. If you still want to be with him, you have to give him some room. BUT do not think you need to sit and wait around. Go out and have some fun of your own. Whatever happens, i wish you well sweetie.
2006-11-17 16:30:04 · answer #3 · answered by carriec 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont get involved with him he sounds kinda like a jerk. And hes destroying his college career by drinking and clubbing all the time. You need to speek up more . and no its not rong to feel hurt. you could prolly find a decent guy instead of the guy ure describing
2006-11-17 16:29:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong to feel hurt. Let him know how you feel. Long distance relationships are really hard, but if it's meant to be, it will last.
2006-11-17 16:26:28 · answer #5 · answered by michelmo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not wrong i'd feel the same way. you should explain your feelings to him and if he does still love you then he'll accept the way you feel.
2006-11-17 16:31:18 · answer #6 · answered by sarah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no thats normal you just miss him thats all
2006-11-17 16:25:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not it normal
2006-11-17 16:24:51 · answer #8 · answered by Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋