Lately my boyfriend has been making comments about how sometimes he wonders if we are too different. If I talk about something that is odd to him, he'll say (jokenly, at least it seems) that I gave him something to think about, as in he's rethinking him and me. He always says this while laughing, although the first comment was said seriously. It makes me wonder if he just isn't into me, if he is just trying to be honest, or if he is just kidding around. I've tried to ask him, with no success, so I am hoping that some of you guys could give me insight into the male mind. What's your take on this because I tend to be a bit of an overreacter and I really like this guy a lot? I don't want my worrying to ruin our relationship. Is he trying to get me used to the idea of a breakup? or is he just teasing me?
Thanks for your help!
2006-11-17 16:17:58 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm less worried about the fact that what you say is "giving him something to think about" and more worried about the fact that he won't take you seriously when you bring it up and tell him that it bothers you. In an open, caring relationship you should be able to bring up something that bothers you, and even if your boyfriend thinks it's silly, if it's not silly to you, he should take it seriously.
If he truly loves you, a little worrying wouldn't "ruin your relationship". He should tell you that you're overreacting and reassure you that everything is fine between the two of you. If he's not saying that, it may not mean he's thinking of breaking up with you, but it does mean he's not giving you the respect you deserve.
2006-11-17 16:24:33 · answer #1 · answered by michelmo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can only speak for myself but I think being different is a good thing for many aspects of a relationship. I've said "Having enough things in common to be able to relate to each other but being different enough that we can learn from each other and keep the relationship interesting." I mean face it, if you have "everything" in common with your partner it's going to get very boring very quickly. So when he says that you've given him something to think about maybe it's a way for him to admit that he's not always right about things. After all, there is frequently more than one right answer to any given question. He is saying "You've given me something to think about" and not "I'm going to rethink you and I". So I'd not worry to much that he's trying to send you a message about breaking up. Enjoy the fact that he listens to what you have to say and values your opinion. There's not enough of that going on in many relationships. I would however be conerned that when you ask him a serious question he's not being forth right with an answer. Again, just my opinion, your milage may vary. Good luck.
2006-11-18 18:02:51 · answer #2 · answered by xo_heartbeat_xo@verizon.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is ask him straight out if he's serious when he says this. It may feel like putting him on the spot, but it's the only way to get a true answer.
I would say it is joking (my fiance jokes about this all the time, especially when we disagree on foods), but the fact that he said it seriously at any time worries me.
Good luck!
2006-11-17 16:21:25 · answer #3 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some of the best relationships are "opposites", it is never boring and you bring out the best in each other.
2006-11-17 16:20:58 · answer #4 · answered by sugarmonkey47 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he's maybe trying to create distance between the two of you? iono. is this consistent with his past behavior?
2006-11-17 16:20:31 · answer #5 · answered by 2dogs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like hes over u. move on.
2006-11-17 16:20:37 · answer #6 · answered by potatobuggy11 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not too different but possibly too reactive/reactionary..........
Where do you begin with your boundaries of "self" and where does he begin & end.
Men are different than women..............
If you think you will figure him out or he figure you out,
FORGET IT!!! :-)
2006-11-17 16:24:35 · answer #7 · answered by ThomasR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋