does the mother not being home with the children affect them?

Question

there are so many working moms today. Is it affecting our children?

Answer 1

Depends on who's watching them and what she does when she gets home.

Answer 2

I totally and completely agree that it does have a great affect on children in how they are being raised regardless if they are in care or not. As long as you raise them right and to the best or beyond what you think your ability is then you should not go wrong. Love and cherish your children, teach them morals and values and you will have wonderfull children. Being away from home can teach them a little bit about independence and the importance of meeting new people and sharing the wonderful experience childhood with other children. You and them will be fine.

Answer 3

Yes, it is definitely better if one or the other parent is home to raise the kids. They need family to raise them, not the system. If it is a money matter then you have to do what you have to do but if you have at least one income it is possible to have a parent stay home. I used to stay home with my kids and they were fairly well behaved and they listened to me most of the time, now I am a single working mom and they are unruly and never listen. I hate the change I see in them but there is nothing else I can do at this point since I have to support them. Also when most people get home from work they are tired and really don't have any quality time to spend with the kids since all the things at home need to be done like cooking, cleaning, etc.. Where to find more time?

Answer 4

I think your question depends upon the age of the children and how long mom is gone from the home, as well as where is "dad" in the picture. I did both. I have five children. I was home with all of them until this past year when my youngest son entered kindergarten. Which means my daughter is in college, I have one son in high school, one son in Jr. High and two in elementary now. I have a hard time with my own guilt in not being there as much for my two youngest as I was for their siblings, but children learn by example and from the way I raised the older ones, they have good examples to follow when it comes to certain things. My two youngest are also more independent than my older children. To this day, my daughter still calls me to ask how to wash some of her clothes or make a certain type of food. Same with the two older boys. They'll call me at work just to ask when I'm coming home and what's for dinner, yet my eight year old and five year old have no problem coming home to make their own snacks after school, hang up their jackets and start their homework. Like I said, it depends on the children and how they are raised. I see non-working moms whose children are running the neighborhood at all hours of the night, they are rude, have sailor mouths and are spoiled rotten with technology instead of parenting.

So if your question is relating to why children are just so awful in this day and age...it has nothing or little to do with what mom is working and which is not...it has to do with how they are being raised.

Answer 5

Absolutely. Nothing makes me madder than when I hear people say "Im a good mother" and then their kids are in care 12 hours a day!
My kids kindy teacher reckons she can tell the kids that have been in care. She says they are 'institutionalised' and less creative. Unless the kids are cared for in a home environment, they have to eat, sleep and play when they are told to. It takes away one of the fundamental freedoms of childhood and that is 'free play'. A kid at home can play blocks if he feels like it, snack when he feels like it, read a book if he so desires. In care that freedom is taken away.
Also daycare can care for a child but they cannot love a child.
A child may grow attached to a carer, but what if they leave?
I 'gave up' my studying to stay at home with my kids. It wasnt a hard choice. I think that unless you are prepared to give up 5 years of your life when you have a child - coz then they go to school full time- then you really should reconsider. Five years is not a whole lot of time in a whole life time.
Of course if you cant afford it then thats another thing. But its bunkum that you cant survive on one salary! Kids need attention from their mother more than they need an overseas holiday and other high priced goods that parents buy for their kids 'because they can' - out of guilt really.
Thanks for your question. Can you tell I feel quite strongly about this???

Answer 6

When I was growing up my mother worked nights and my father worked days, so that I was raised by both my parents, learned from and grew attached to them equally. I think that the burden of raising children should not solely fall to mothers, because, I think, mothers have such unrealistic expectations placed on them in that they have to be perfect mothers, ambitious career women, beautiful, and good housekeepers. Fathers play an important and undervalued role in the upbringing of their children and I think the relationship needs to be more equitable to take some of the pressure off women. Women too need to lighten up and realize that men have different methods and standards in raising kids and that they're not always wrong!

Answer 7

Of course it is. If both parents are working who is raising, influencing and directing their children? I think that is why we have so many children failing, quiting and killing people at school.
Parents today expect the teachers to reach their children everything from academics to manners, tying their shoes and everything and it is not the teachers responsibility. The academics are the ONLY thing teachers get paid to teach. If people would stop worrying about having all the newest and biggest of everything and giving our kids the best of everything and one of them stay home and take care of the kids we wouldn't have the outrageous amount of problem kids today.

Answer 8

yes it is the mom does need to work but also spend a reasonable amount of time with their children. Because as they get older there are a lot of pressures and i think if their parents were there a lot more they wouldnt look for affection from their peers and make such bad decisions

Answer 9

I think it is the quality of time you spend with your children. I have worked the entire lives of my children. I have four, one is a college graduate, one is in college and the third and fourth are in junior high school all are doing very well. well mannered, greatly respected. So, I think it really has a great deal to deal with the values, morals, you have instilled in them. And what you did with the time you have with them. And I was a single mom. I can honestly say, they have made me a very proud mom. Just my opinion, God bless**

Answer 10

I would have to say yes. I am the daughter of a mother who was never home (out with her new husband and friends all day and working at night). I basically had to raise my younger brothers. Now that I am out of the house (I'm in college), they don't respect her at all and get into all kinds of trouble. She tries to make up for it now, but they just walk over her.

Answer 11

yes it affects the kids! i was in a HUGE fight with social services because my husband left and i wanted to stay home with my children like i used to. the government said i had to work and they would pay someone else to watch my kids. i had to take the bus around so i was gone from 7am to 6pm and i quit that program ASAP. i didn't want someone else raising my kids, if the gov would pay for that why can't they pay me to watch my own kids and stay home with them? society is unravelling because mothers are working, people may think that's antifeminist but kids need their moms, especially when they are young.