I live in California. I am about to have a child with a woman who married her ex-boyfriend while she was pregnant with my child. We still get along well and have talked about details surrounding the child out of court and seem to have come upon some agreements, such as child support amount, visitation (she will have custody), and such. Recently, several friends and the mother's midwife suggested for me to talk to an attorney and to see exactly what my rights are as a father so I don't get taken by the mother. A lot of this was brought about by her deciding that she only wants me around 15 minutes a day for the first couple weeks after birth so she and her new husband can rest and adjust. I don't think she can do this if I am the legal father, restrict my contact to my child. Although we have no official paperwork yet (which we will be doing through a private company). Before I spent money on a lawyer, I wanted to see if anyone had idea of the rights of a father in CA. Thanks.
2006-11-17 15:08:57 · 5 answers · asked by upsidown 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Yeah, you probably should get an attorney. You want to make sure through a paternity test that this is indeed your child.
You want to make sure she doesn't put her husband's name on the birth certificate as the father as that may sever your rights.
If you don't do this in a legal manner, you could get seriously hosed.
You want joint custody with her having physical custody? How about being able to take the baby for visitation? What's a fair amount of child support to pay? What if they decide to relocate?
You NEED an attorney.
Good luck with this.
2006-11-17 15:18:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a hard time to think about this and started not to answer this. First I am sorry for this and you are angry at her that is the biggest problem here because she left you and it should have been you but she went back to this guy and it sucks as it is. I have to ask you why bother her about this yes it is your child maybe what if it isn't do you know for sure?. The other things is if it is yours then it is up to her to say when you can see him because the baby is an infant and needs her mother and she needs it.. I think you will get hurt out of this one and just maybe you do not want to get to involve this one and tell her that you will walk away from all of this and you will not pay any child support and you will leave her alone totally and that is that and if she say no you will pay then do it through the court no BS
2006-11-17 15:21:23 · answer #2 · answered by isitreal1963 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the deal. You do have rights as the father of that child, but unless you pursue them through court, don't take the mother's word for granted. I think it's great that the two of you are on speaking grounds, but it's going to change when that baby comes. She is not going to want to part with child for a second and the bonding time cannot be done in 15 minutes honey. That's insane. I know it's going to be hard, especially sicne she's married and all ready to start her new family with this other guy, but take this into consideration..who do you want this child calling daddy? her new hubby? My advice? Get official paperwork. Get visitation before that baby arrives. If she's uncomfortable with you taking the baby (As a mother of 5, I'd completely understand that), then ask for more time...say an hour every other day....then to take the baby for four hours on a Saturday (afterall, you have family too that are going to want to see your new bundle of joy). Do that for the first three months, then up it to taking the baby for three hours three times a week and a full day on Saturday or Sunday...at six months, up it again. Keep with the weekday schedule, but plan for every other weekend for the entire weekend. I know it's a touchy thing, but in a sense, you'll both be adjusting to this and this way, with you spending so much time with the baby, the baby will know you too and won't be so fussy when it comes time for overnights. Explain this to the mom to be. Tell her your concerns. Tell her that you have no intentions of denying her time with her family, but that you would like to play a big role in this baby's life as well and that means you need your time to bond with him/her too. Then get it ALL in writing, because like the flip of a switch, these things can go terribly wrong without paperwork. And yes, this is perfectly legal, you are well within your rights to ask for this and believe it or not, as long as you use the words "in the child's best interests", I have a hard time believing a judge would not grant you the visitation you seek. Not many men are willing to step up to the plate and take responsibility....You are doing a good thing here hon...you are going to make a great dad!
2006-11-17 15:48:16 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you are paying child support you have every right to see that child every other weekend. Make sure you have documentation that your paying child support. But you have to take her to court to get a judge to oder this. Good Luck
2006-11-17 15:19:31 · answer #4 · answered by flutterby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the 1st difficulty he needs to do is help the mum of his toddler. deliver her income funds orders. tests to coach he's making an attempt. report declare of the toddler greater proper examine and spot appropriate to the father's registry without that he has no rights, Get a criminal expert and initiate off struggling with. The air rigidity won;t take him if he;s struggling with a courtroom conflict over little ones, Yea get all prenatal appoints documented.
2016-10-15 16:51:39 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋