Any older parents of teens and would like to know what kind of relationship you have with them now.?

Question

I had my teen child later in life (over 35, so not that old by the way!!) )and would like to know from other parents who had children later in life and what kind of life they have had with their children. I have both older and this younger child who was a blessing in disquise to have. Any comments for those parents that have a troublesome child due to being bullied, or being way to tall in the class and just being picked on and not wanting to go to school because of what is happening??

This is for a parent of both girls and boys

This is for parents of both boys and girls

Answer 1

I didn't necessarily have my children later in life, but honey, we had the same issue with our oldest son. We have five, one girl, already in college and four boys. All the other children are tiny, but my oldest son inherited the genes from my father's side of the family. Which means he'll have a thicker build and be extremely tall (My brother is 6'4", cousins as tall as 6'7") My son is only 15 and he's already 6'0" and 195 lbs. Because the kids started teasing him at an early age, he developed this shyness about him and just didn't want to socialize with anyone. Which meant, he didn't want to go into sports or any other activities, much less school. THis was his first year in high school and over the summer, we had to force him to join something (we did it with all our children...our logic was get into something before you get into trouble) and he chose a summer football program. He hated it at first because he didn't know anyone and was rather shy. But within that first week, he had a ton of friends. Because of his size, the coaches loved him, as did the quarterback in which he protected. It's as if I have a different child. All of a sudden, he became outgoing, the girls started calling and football is his life. Before I knew it, he was begging to sign up for football when school started. He already knew most of the kids from the summer program and because of his size, he knew he'd fair pretty well. And as it was, he did. He now loves school. I can barely keep him home and for once...he's truly happy. I felt horrible when this all started, so I feel your pain, but sometimes parents have to look outside the box, set our emotions aside and think about this logically. If your son is tall, try signing him up for a basketball camp in your local area. If anything, at least he'll meet other kids his own size who have the same issues...and maybe it'll carry over. The idea is to get him out there and sometimes that takes a little shove. I know he's your baby and as a parent it's hard to do...but you have to ask yourself...what's harder? Watching him so upset and depressed...or watching him smile while he relates with others that have gone through the same thing as him? And if he's not sports enthused...find something else honey. Kids today have so many options available to them. But it is IMPERATIVE that you find something for him, and I do mean that. Being a teenager is hard enough. Being a teenager with no friends is suicidal. I don't want to scare you, but not ony am I a mom...I'm a social worker and I see it alot. It's the little things that make a difference to them and although I know you want to make him happy, he needs to find some happiness in himself too!

I wish you luck!

Answer 2

I know this sounds harsh but, unless you are willing to become a mother (no literally of course but like how a step mother is to a step child) to that child, and are prepared to deal with all of the drama with the child's mother, you should leave before you two get too serious. I mean really, a child in a relationship when your only 20 is a deal breaker. You're young and should be having fun, and being stuck with someone who has to hold the responsibility of a child is hard. At 20 you should be able to go have fun at a club and in a few months have fun at a bar with your friends. At 20 children just shouldn't be in the picture. There are plenty more fish in the sea.