This is my first love, I don’t even know what love is really? I think I love him because I think of him every min. anyway I been with my bf for about 9 month, I work with him, I see him 3 to 4 days a week, he is the first guy that I had sex with and it is great I love the sex. My parents really don’t like him because he is not in school and he is ghetto I am from a quite family and very conservative. He doesn’t really take me out a lot, doesn’t give me a gift never really give me a gift, even for my b-day he said he got something special for me but he never give it to me because I mad him mad and he thought it was not the right gift for me anyway I really don’t care about the gifts. BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW I AM SUPPOSE TO BE treated. Like this weekend we were suppose to go to this x-mass party for my job and he really doesn’t want to go but I mad him go and know he is saying that he doesn’t have anything to ware so he is not going and he doesn’t have money to buy it he keep saying that he is poor he have money saved in him bank about 600.00. but he said that if I but him t-shirt and pants he will go?????????? I mean WHY IS HE DOING THAT is he using me is he suppose to treat me like this??????? He doesn’t even take me out any were. I don’t know what love is somebody please help me
2006-11-17 14:39:10 · 11 answers · asked by sweet84 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
BABY DON'T HURT ME... NO MORE
2006-11-17 14:40:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
1:
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If you are unsure if you are in love, then you are probably not.
2:
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You need to ditch this guy; here are the reasons.
3:
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Ask yourself this, what does he do for you, and what do you do for him? For one, he gets sex from you, and we all know most guys want it more then girls. Now, how often do you ask things of him? You see, when two people want to coexist in a manner like this, they must each make compromises. So, when you ask of him simple things as you have described above, and he flat out refuses, and even has the nerves to say "but he said that if I but him t-shirt and pants he will go?".
Listen, this is the way I think it should be. The guy should never ask you to pay for HIS own clothes or anything really, nor should he be childish as in not giving you a gift because you made him angry. The guy should always pay for things, such as dinner, movie tickets, etc. The exception here is if he is poor for a legitimate reason and you insist to him to let you pay, and that only goes for inexpensive stuff.
4:
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Why didn't he finish school? Does he plan on finishing? If not, is he learning a trade skill? Does he have a job, and if not is he looking; if he isn't looking then why not?
Let me tell you this, from what I could decipher of your post, and from only that information, assuming what you say is true, then here is your answer short and simple: You are being used.
You need to get away from this bum, and I hope you use a condom when having sexual relations. Who knows how many girls this guy has done. And if you have not, then get yourself to a clinic for some test.
How old are you and him by the way? This is about all I have to give you from what you have told us.
PS: Vote for me. :D
2006-11-24 19:43:26 · answer #2 · answered by WolfPac_Ite 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I read through all you wrote. This is what I think. You are being used. First for sex, second for money. Frankly, you probably mean nothing or very little to him. What you feel for him is not love, it is lust and the allure of a "bad boy". He is not a good boy for you to be in a relationship with.
What you are going through with him is not how a loving romantic relationship works. A real BF takes you out, talks to you about all sorts of topics, buys you little inexpensive gifts to show affection, is not scared to meet your parents, is not afraid to be seen in public with you, is educated or working on his education, funny, thoughtful, playful, respectful, in touch with his feelings and his spirituality. At the end of the day you want to feel that the time you have spent with him was valued. Likewise you value his time and effort to being a good and decent man to you.
2006-11-17 23:03:07 · answer #3 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it seems like ur inlove with him but i dont know if he feels the same gifts dont count at all its the thought that counts although gifts are good and mayb he doesnt take u out coz he doesnt have any money or mayb hed just rather hang out with u...if ur a type of girl that would rather go out aand spend quility time with him at a nice place and have him spending on u and looking good then mayb hes nto the rite type of guy for u but then again y dont u just try and talk to him about it.. if its such a hassle for him to take u out places coz he doesnt want to mayb theres sumfin wrong and u need sum time apart u no? xoxo
2006-11-17 22:47:26 · answer #4 · answered by bellas0124 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he is miss treating you and using you. i agree with your parents, cause you don't want to endup with uneducated person who don't know how to speak in public and he can't get a good job to support at least himself, however if he is not educated he won't have an "open mind", you rarely find a person who is not educated but have opened mind. and being in love make you blind so stop using your heart and start using your brain, and ask yourself is this how i want to endup? is this the person i want to endup with? am i happy with hem? you always can talk to hem to change his ways and don't give up if inside of you feel that this is the one for me and don't rush take your time making your dicessions.
2006-11-17 22:54:50 · answer #5 · answered by hamsa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love really cant be described. it is something you will know you feel when you really feel it. one thing is certain though, love in no way has anything to do with gifts and money. bottom line is, if you have to go on yahoo answers to find out what love is...then you most likely are not in love.
2006-11-17 22:46:27 · answer #6 · answered by whatever 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change is needed. You are his sugar mama!! A person who doesn't work and go to school should be kick to the curb.
2006-11-17 22:42:21 · answer #7 · answered by Mussey 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop him fast. Mutual respect and trust are needed for ANY relationship to be good. He doesn't respect you and I'm not sure you do him.
2006-11-17 22:43:12 · answer #8 · answered by the shadow knows 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just isn't a people person...introverted and insecure.
2006-11-17 22:43:47 · answer #9 · answered by honiebyrd 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you better get away from that jerk before it's too late. don't let him use you and mistreat you like that. i don't think it's fair at all.
2006-11-17 22:43:33 · answer #10 · answered by lizie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋