When I was a bit younger and still living with my dad it was like HELL for me. I felt like a prisoner in my own home. Gosh, it wasn't even a home, it was a house --his house. And i've struggled living with him all that time. And now I wonder how the heck I put up with him.
He used to be so strict. He bought me a diary once (A mary-kate and Ashley diary). He actually FORCED me to write in it. He would ask me stuff like, ''Did you write in your diary today?" or "how long has it been since you've wrote in your diary"
It was like he was my master! I couldnt even close my room door. my sister and i shared a room at the time. he would say, "I want this door to always be open." and whenever im with my friends, he'd always watch me and tell me if i dont talk up, (as in not being so quiet and start being talkative)
it would be hell for me. And this made me HATE hanging with my friends b/c i was a more reserved person and it was like i couldnt be myself. Well, all this pain he caused to me all bubble up and i had a panick attack. (thats what i thought it was atleast). And thats how i told the police and ACS ppl i wanted to get away from him. So my mom and sister moved out and
to this day we are still living together :) (im glad im away from him. im more peaceful in my mind. but now im kind of going through a depression state.)
the problem is. he asks why im so distant and never call. and that something is wrong with me. he says he did nothing wrong. now you tell me, does that sound like a good father?
2006-11-17 14:24:18 · 26 answers · asked by I'm a HBIC 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
HE USED TO BEAT ME!
2006-11-17 14:29:57 · update #1
Maybe not a good father, maybe not a bad father.
I think he's just been mislead.
2006-11-17 14:26:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
aww girly he seems as if he cared to much! way to much! i guess if he put u through hell he wasn't such a good father and how now becuase of ur past ur future is suffering. I wish things like this wouldn't happen. I wonder if he would ever read that diary of yours if he would u should of written how u felt about him and maybe he would of opened his eyes. I'm sorry for this there's nothing anybody can do or say to makeu feel better. Im sorry I hope u get better. Prayer is the best medicine.
God Bless u
2006-11-17 22:37:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did he beat you? Did he be-little you and call you names? Did he force you to live in a closet? Not feed you? Throw you out of the house? Uhm, didn't sound like it. I read about you having friends over, him buying you a "mary-kate/ashley diary", and he was strict about "his" house.
When are you going to stop trying to find someone to blame for your own issues little girl? To me, it sounds as though this was a dad who didn't know how to raise little girls but was trying his damndest to reach out to you. And rather than just telling dad that you are a private person and that nothing is wrong and that you love him, but he's being a little too strict and pushy...you went and called the police, brought child protective services into this and made his life a living hell and broke up your family.
You ought to be depressed. Your life is what you make of it honey and you've got a lot to learn about how life works. I'm a social worker and I deal with REAL abuse and neglect cases everyday that get ignored because we are too darn busy dealing with exaggerated and manipulated cases that angry little girls, such as yourself, make up to get what they want.
To me, you father was a good father...you, on the other hand are a problem child!
And now you want to add that he use to beat me? Honey....try your attention ploy somewhere else...if you were really abused, it would have been in your first question. You are just angry at the fact that he was strict and you are depressed because the life you have now isn't what you envisioned it to be. And now that everyone is telling you he wasn't a bad father, and you aren't getting the sympathy you expected, you are trying to manipulate us.....it's not working!
2006-11-17 22:33:40 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he clothed you fed you, and did not abuse you in any kind of way then hell yeah he was a good father. I wish I had a more concerned father, because I wouldn't made mistakes i've made. Their have been things to happen to me as a child and I thought that if i had a father around none of it would of happened. My dad was shot to death when I was in the 4th grade. Be thankful you have a caring one. I think the part about the diary is a bit crazy. Kids are doing all kinds of mess these days. I seen it first hand working in a youth facility. Again be thankful and let him know how you feel.
2006-11-17 22:31:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he totally neglected having fun /spending time with you.You definitely did the right thing of moving out if he beat you.He did do something wrong because he would force you to keep your door open,beat you,MAKE you write in your diary,and talk more?What is up with that???There is a fine line between strict,and dragon breathing fire down your neck!!If he asks you why you are so "distant" tell him what you feel and remind him of what he did.If he denies it, don;t put up with it and tell him that's why you don't like talking to him.I'm sorry this happened and I will pray for you.God bless you and have a good holiday!!!
<3Michelle<3 ;-)
2006-11-21 14:22:53 · answer #5 · answered by polly! :) Hahahahaha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is trying to hard to be a good father. He sounds like he is but maybe a little to strict and controlling. Try talking to him and telling him how you feel instead of just ignoring him when he asks why you are distant. If you feel uncomfortable with talking to him alone try having someone with you who is neutral. A friend or counsellor. It sounds like he has some real issues that he may not even be aware of. TALK to him and maybe he will realize what the is doing and chill a bit.
OK didn't see that he beat you. Honey, any dad that beats his child is the definition of BAD father!!!!!
2006-11-17 22:32:41 · answer #6 · answered by cas2173 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More than likely, he feels like he is doing his best. He wants to bring you up right and wants to know everything that is happening in your life. He loves you!
At the same time, he is not allowing you to grow, to be yourself, to choose your freedoms! BUT, He Does Love You!
Being a parent is difficult work! Not everyone can do the job well.
IMHO, You need to speak with him and let him know your true feelings. Let your Mom know too. She may have an insight you are not aware of. She knows him better than you can ever know him!
Yes, you have reason to be angry and upset! But you need to learn to communicate with your parents too!
Honestly, they want to know your thoughts!
IMHO,
Good Luck!
The Ol' Sasquatch Ã
Ahh, didn't see the beating thing - that changes things a lot!
Talk with your Mom about this!
2006-11-17 22:40:51 · answer #7 · answered by Ol' Sasquatch 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're well out of there! He was a control freak who was more interested in making you do what he thought you should do than in helping you be a better person. I'm a father of 4 girls and I think that to be a good father you have to be there for them, you let them have their own space, but keep an eye on them and hopefully keep them out of trouble but make sure they know you are ALWAYS there for them no matter what.
2006-11-17 22:31:49 · answer #8 · answered by Jim V 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually it sounds like a typical father who wants very much to protect you from all the bad elements that exist. It's very hard being a Dad to a female, don't blame him for loving you, because his love is unconditional, and as you get older you will find this type of love very rare.
2006-11-17 22:28:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
he cared for you, he loved you. he buy things for you. he never scold you, he dont punish you, he tried his best to be a good father but i think he was not supportive enough. he wanted the best from you but he asked negatively which makes you feel bad. everything he did for you has a good reason to make you become a better person. try to look it at different perspective.
i dont day he is a good or a bad father, but i know he has a good intention for the best of you.
2006-11-17 22:38:36 · answer #10 · answered by miv farizzet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just wanted the best for you. He didn't hit you or sexually abuse you. He gave you a roof over your head and food to eat. He was just a bit too controlling. Parents are learning to be a parent every day. It's hard and sometimes they have a learning curve. Take it easy on dear old dad, he was just trying his best.
2006-11-17 22:31:16 · answer #11 · answered by mksjmyd 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋