a joke...................................rating please?

Question

once a god got bored in the heaven so he went into hell and then to a pub where he drank 5 bottles of hard drink.the waiter wondered that he wasnt he feeling drowsy?till now he would have fainted.................
so he asked him and said the drink is not affecting u??
the God said "why should i feel drowsy i am a god"
the waiter turned back and said "now the drink has started effect".

Answer 1

yoooooo mama, is soooooo poor, i walked into your house and asked where the bathroom was, she said " pick a corner! "

ooooooooooooo
hope u liked it

Answer 2

Rules for BOLLYWOOD
1) A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to cleanse his wounds.
2) If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.
3) The hero cannot fall in love with the heroine unless they first perform a dance number.
4) Once applied, make-up is permanent, in rain or in any other situation.
5) Village girls who live among cows and sheep have perfect skin and teeth.
6) A large group of goondas (dacoits) can be shooting at the hero, but he will never be hit, unless of course he is attempting to save the chick.
7) A large group of goondas (dacoits) can be shooting at the hero with machine guns, yet they will always miss. Every shot the hero takes from his small revolver will knock down at least ten opponents in a line.
8) If faced with certain death, do not panic. Merely chant, Ganpati Bappa, and after a few short bolts of lightning, all will be well.

Answer 3

An old Italian woman is riding the elevator in a very lavish New York City Office Building.

A young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator and smelling like expensive perfume turns to the old Italian woman and says arrogantly, "Giorgio Beverly Hills, $100 an ounce!"

The next young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator and also very arrogantly turns to the old Italian woman and says, "Chanel No. 5, $150 an ounce!"

About three floors later, the old Italian woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, she bends over, and farts.......
"Broccoli - 49 cents a pound!"

Answer 4

ON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON.

HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON,

"THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR
MANKIND," WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY
MILLIONS.

BUT JUST BEFORE HE REENTERED THE LANDER,HE MADE THE ENIGMATIC REMARK "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY."
MANY PEOPLE AT NASA THOUGH IT WAS A CASUAL REMARK CONCERNING SOME RIVAL SOVIET COSMONAUT.

HOWEVER, UPON CHECKING, THERE WAS NO GORSKY IN
EITHER THE RUSSIAN OR AMERICAN SPACE PROGRAMS.
OVER THE YEARS MANY PEOPLE QUESTIONED ARMSTRONG AS TO WHAT THE "GOOD LUCK, MR. GORSKY... STATEMENT MEANT, BUT ARMSTRONG ALWAYS JUST SMILED.

ON JULY 5, 1995, IN TAMPA BAY , FLORIDA , WHILE
ANSWERING QUESTIONS FOLLOWING A SPEECH, A REPORTER BROUGHT UP THE 26-YEAR-OLD QUESTION TO ARMSTRONG. THIS TIME HE FINALLY RESPONDED. MR. GORSKY HAD DIED, SO NEIL ARMSTRONG FELT HE COULD ANSWER THE QUESTION.

IN 1938 WHEN HE WAS A KID IN A SMALL MID-WEST TOWN
, HE WAS PLAYING BASEBALL WITH A FRIEND IN THE
BACKYARD. HIS FRIEND HIT THE BALL, WHICH LANDED IN HIS NEIGHBOR'S YARD BY THE BEDROOM WINDOWS.

HIS NEIGHBORS WERE MR. AND MRS. GORSKY.

AS HE LEANED DOWN TO PICK UP THE BALL, YOUNG
ARMSTRONG HEARD MRS. GORSKY SHOUTING AT MR. GORSKY.

"SEX! YOU WANT SEX?! YOU'LL GET SEX WHEN THE
KID NEXT DOOR WALKS ON THE MOON!"

Answer 5

Jokes
1. Why do couples hold hands on weeding day? Just a formality like two boxers shaking hands before the fight.
2.I asked god for world peace. He said it’s impossible, ask something else. I ask to make you intelligent. He said let me try the world peace.
3.A man before marriage Spiderman. After seeing a girl Superman. On marriage Gentleman after marriage Watchman. 10 Years after marriage Doberman.
4.On a romantic day sardars girl friend asks him, Darling on our engagement will you give me a RING? Sardar Ya sure, Give me your Telephone Noumber.
5.One day morning a boy took an egg to make an omelet he break the egg and found nothing in it he feel angry “**** now these days’ even chickens also wearing condoms.”
6.Boy tells his girl friend “darling I feel bored to change condoms daily” his girl friend replies” why don’t you laminate your penis”.
7.Secretes of long life …….Morning two eggs with milk Evening two pegs with chips ……..and night two legs ………fill your choice.
8.A boy asked a girl why there is sound when you pass urine. Girl said we don’t have an 8 inch silencer like yours.
9.Six beauties went in to a swimming pool for bath. Suddenly the all water disappeared why. Because new wisper ultra more water absorbing…
10.Seven naked men standing in a row with erected penis. A lady saw them and asked are you all advertising for a condom? They replayed No. we are advertising for ‘7up’ .

Hope you enjoy this jokes, please forgive me for the bad jokes....

Answer 6

Joke 1: Fact 1:U can't touch ur lower lip with ur tounge.
Fact 2: 99% of the fools would try after reading this.
Joke 2: Exams r like girlfriends.
1.Too many questions.
2.Difficult to understand.
3.More explanation is needed.
4."RESULT" is always "FAIL".

Answer 7

A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into Wal-Mart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart ....Nice children you've got there, are they twins?" The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's seven. Why the hell would you think they're twins? ..........Do you really think they look alike?" "No", replied the greeter, " I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"

Answer 8

hahahah.......a nice one........lol

On a hot summer day, a redneck cowboy came riding into town on his horse with his dog following. He tied the horse and dog under the shade of a tree and went into the bar for a cold beer.

About 20 minutes later a policeman came into the bar and asked who owned the dog tied under the tree. The redneck cowboy said that it was his. The policeman said, "Your dog seems to be in heat." The redneck cowboy replies, "No way dog's in heat; he's cool cause I got'im tied under the shade of the tree." The policeman says, "No! you don't understand; your dog needs to be bred." No way", the redneck cowboys says, "dog don't need bread, he's not hungry, cause I fed him beef jerky this mornin". Now the policeman gets mad and yells out; "NO! You don't seem to understand, your dog wants to have sex!"

The redneck cowboy looks at him and says, "Go ahead. I always wanted a police dog!"

Answer 9

You are going to Hell! Just kidding, but hope God has a sense of humor.

Answer 10

a joke . I can see the smile on your face . Ok have it and give me 10 points let that smile pass on to me too .