a seven year old cutting ? she was in gym,and lunch room,hiding with 2 other girls.I could not believe it.Obviously she did for fun,when i asked her,she sort of smile.She thinks she's tough,cool,and popular.What the best way to solve it?My husband doesn't know yet,i don't know how might he react? What should we do? I'll take your advices PLEASE? desperate mom.
2006-11-17 13:53:56 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
How does a 7 year old cut class? Shouldn't the school be on some kind of "RED ALERT" for a possible kidnapping? If they didn't notify you right away that your daughter was missing I would raise a fit!
As for my daughter: Her "tough, cool and popular" little bottom would be glowing in the dark for awhile. If this doesn't call for a spanking then nothing does.
I say tell her dad, don't hide it. I would say either you or dad (who ever is tougher, or more strict) give her a good old fashioned bare bottom spanking, now just a few swats, more like 20 for what she did. This is a life threading type of situation that you really need to make her sorry for.
Good Luck
2006-11-17 20:20:17 · answer #1 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it should have not taken two missing classes for the school to realize she was not in class. The teacher HAS to know where each of her students are at all times. This includes Gym. As far as lunch goes, her regular teacher should have realized she was not with the rest of the class before going to lunch. The school should be held partly responsible. Second, you should sit your daughter down and explain why what she did could have been dangerous. Ask her what she would have done if there was a fire drill? Tell her they would have been locked inside the school by themselves. What if there was a real fire? Next you should explain that her teachers HAVE to know where she is at all times in case of an emergency. For example, a stranger in the school-what could possibly happen. Being lured outside for any reason.
Third, she missed what the rest of her class learned during that time, and her classmates probably didn't think it was funny or cool, and if they were laughing, it was because they were laughing AT her, not WITH her. Explain what that means and then ask her if what they did was worth being laughed at and made fun of. I would punish her by making her make up the work she missed. Then I would have her write an apology letter to her teacher explaining what she did and why she did it. Make sure she writes what she should have been doing, instead of hiding and that she understands why what she did was unsafe, and what bad things could have happened. She should also include, if a time arrises, where she is asked by her friends to hide again or break any rules which she knows would be wrong, what she would do positively, instead of doing the wrong thing. She should personally apologize and rewrite her letter twice by hand, one to the principal and one to the Gym teacher. If she makes any mistakes while writing any of them, she needs to start the letter over until she writes all three perfectly. This probably should take the whole weekend. I would not let her go out anywhere until she earns your trust back. Let her figure out how.
2006-11-17 15:06:44 · answer #2 · answered by Fran T 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I got a call once that my daughter (high school) was cutting class a lot, and not doing her work. So we told the teacher we would show up at class the next day. When my daughter walked into the classroom, chatting with friends, she looked up to see her parents sitting in chairs on either side of her desk, and she came to a dead stop with her mouth open. She turned BRIGHT red and all the kids were looking at her and her friend said, "I feel sorry for you" and backed away like my kid had cooties. LOL! We stayed the entire class and told her if she EVER cut or goofed off again, we'd take turns sitting next to her every day. It worked. Problem solved. A 7-year-old won't be as embarrassed as a teenager, but you can try the same thing. I'm sure kids will make fun of her if her parents have to come to class with her, so she won't want that happening.
2006-11-17 14:25:56 · answer #3 · answered by Rainfog 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Seven year olds don't yet comprehend tough cool and popular. They understand testing the limits and breaking the rules to do this. Ask her to tell the story of what happened, and ask her why she did it. Then act like it was the dumbest thing to do and that babies have trouble being where they're supposed to.
As for the hubby, he'll find out somehow. Us guys have hidden senses ya know. Maybe just bring up a conversation about how your daughter has gotten a little more rebelious lately. Then eeeasee into it. :)
2006-11-17 13:59:04 · answer #4 · answered by UMRmathmajor 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would be first and foremost upset with the school for not noticing sooner that your daughter was missing for such a long period of time. I would ask for a meeting with the teacher and set up some boundaries for your daughter and come up with a plan with the school. Second, I would definitely remove many or most of your daughters privileges (tv, friends, videos, etc) for a week. Your daughter sounds like she is asking for attention so aside from the discipline, work on some positive time spent with her.
2006-11-17 14:02:45 · answer #5 · answered by luveeduvee 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I feel sorry for you....this is serious in second grade. How did the school handle it and WHY didn't the teacher notice she was missing??? I think in school suspension is in order and a few visits with the school psychologist to determine is this a cry for attention or willful disobedience....Tighten the reigns now before she becomes, OMG, a teenager!
2006-11-17 14:05:07 · answer #6 · answered by miatalise12560 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Make sure she knows that her behavior is wrong and unacceptable. Tell her what the consequences for her actions are and follow through with them. Be consistent if something of this nature happens again and don't give in, no matter what. Let her know that you are disappointed with her actions. Young children usually don't like to let their parents down.
2006-11-17 17:48:02 · answer #7 · answered by rockchalk 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go with her to school for a couple of days or a week. Thats what my mom did and I never ever did anything bad again. Im even a straight A student now.
2006-11-17 14:02:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
The problem is not you or your daughter . What kind of school does she go to that they didnt notice and look for her after the first class when she didnt show. How did no one notice her in the gym and cafeteria for two classes. For her to be so young dont be mad at her or yell or punish her since that will only make her fearful to go to you with her problems as she grows up. You need to sit down with her and find out why she didnt want to go to the two classes and then find out what has been going on in those two classes and talk to the other 2 girls moms and see what thier girls had to say about it all. Something like this happened with my youngest son and I almost got mad at him but instead listened to him and went and spoke with his teacher and once I spoke with his teacher I knew why he was having so many problems in school. The teacher was a real jerk and in front of my eyes grabbed my son by the arm and put him up against the wall and I am not talking having him stand against the wall I am talking the teacher put him up against the wall he slammed my 4th grade son into the wall in front of my eyes all for not staying quiet in line and that is because he was tring to talk to me. To say the least the teacher is no longer a teacher and I was told will never be allowed to teach again at least in the state of California. For a young child to be doing something like cutting class there has to be a problem or something. If she wont talk to you give her a piece of paper and tell her to draw what she feels . I found out alot of things having my kids do that because all kids have a problem with explaining things to grown ups. and its easier to just write or draw them. I hate to see what you are going to do when she gets into jr. high and starts having boyfriends if something like this has you feeling desperate. I would def. complain to the school about thier security and keeping track of the kids.
2006-11-17 14:46:14 · answer #9 · answered by hersheynrey 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Time to get the belt out and show her that behavior will not be tolerated. Tell her if it happens again you will put her in the strictest private school you can find. If she is pulling this crap now I do not want to think what will happen when she is 16.
2006-11-17 14:18:50 · answer #10 · answered by billy f 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋