Is my boyfriend right to think I'm mean?

Question

These are some of the things I do:

-I act jealous only to boost his low self-esteem
-I play it tough so that he won't take over me and everything else
-I don't reply to his im-s
-I ask him 'what do you want" when he calls me on the phone
-I don't allow him to go to bars with his friend
-I have to give him permission to go to the washroom
-I use insulting humor, too clever for his unsophisticated character
-I show my dissatisfaction when he doesn't say or do exactly as I . expect

So, why is he being so irrational and what are some good places for boyfriend training?

Answer 1

Wow, I would dump you so fast you would think I was a figment of your imagination!

Answer 2

Abuse being from a man or woman physical or mental is not good for anyone. I guess you should consider what is important in your life right now and go from there.If you think your relationship is worth having then you should change these ways. Also remember there will be a time in your life when your actions will reflect on you. In other words the past can haunt.
Control is the issue here.You seem to be in the need for it at all times, maybe you should think about why that is? and then work from there.
Remember to much of something is not good . Relationships take time and practice trial and error. I am sure you will learn as you go.To make it really work you will need to compromise,understand ,trust, forgive and appreciate.Mostly learn to love not control.
You must be feeling guilty about it otherwise you would have not wrote your question. Best of luck!

Answer 3

Gurl.... you're over with the "play hard to get" stage! He's your boyfriend now! If you continue to act this way he is going to assume that you really don't like him and you guys will break up. He is not being irrational.... put yourself in his shoes. How would you feel if he did these things to you. It's alright to be humorous and play mean at times but you might do that to him on the wrong day and he may just take it the wrong way. He's your BOYFRIEND. You guys are supposed to be chillin', relaxin' having fun with each other... that's why there's a label on your relationship. As a girl, we do tend to do these things because we don't want them to have control over us... but gurl, this is just way to extreme. You're making him seem like a fragile boy. I think one way he could have a self-esteem "boost" is if he knows he has a nice, sweet, caring girlfriend that he can turn to and depend on. Not someone who doesn't reply his IM's..... lighten up a lil'... give the boy some room to be happy with you.
If this is something that he approached you with then you should put into consideration and lighten up just a lil'...
Now don't be too nice.... you know we still gotta show them who's boss, but don't be too controlling, he's still a man, you gotta make them feel like they have control even though they really don't... wink wink...

Answer 4

Most girls train their own boyfriends but I must say that you are not very good at it. If you were a good teacher he would never know that your jealousy was an act, he would not take over you and everything else although you continue to be sweet, he would not go to bars with his friends because he would prefer your company to theirs. Most of all, a good teacher always chooses a worthy student. Her student would never think her mean and would never know he is being trained.

Answer 5

The poor guy should dump you, Why do you feel the need to be so controling. He is not a child and even then we dont control them either. Give him some slack or one day he will be gone. There is an old saying that you catch more bees with honey than vinegar. Think about it.

Answer 6

well your not wong in thinking you want to make him happy but you have to respect him and not hurt his own feelings. YOu have to be that girl you was when he first met you because that the girl he found attravtive not the girls thats trying to do things that she thinks might be attractive and positive for him. WHo you were made him happy so don't change just so you think your doing all of this for him. Also he isn't a slave you have to treat him as a person especially like a person that you care about a lot don't act like his mom (no offense both to his mom or you)

Answer 7

you are being selfish, and what goes around comes around. You are taking advantage. Not alot of guys you find in this world that will love you and respect you. And what you are doing one day it will come back to you I'm serious. One day you are going to fall in love or might loose him and you are going to regret it for the rest of your life. treat other llike you want to treat you okay. you give and it will be given back to you. bye Think about it.

Answer 8

You're mean. This is what the people call game-playing.

I don't think he needs boyfriend training. YOU do.

Look, you've got to respect your man. YOU actually DIS-respect him. If you think he has a low self-esteem, then you clearly don't respect him. Don't try to cover for his inadequacies. Just be his girlfriend. Why are you with him if you think so lowly of him? Do you like his company? Do you like him? Then show it. Be honest.

Wait, are you a troll??
Dang, fell for it.

Answer 9

well i can see why he might think that but it also seems like you are trying to toughen him up a little bit and it is kinda freaking him out a little bit.
i'm not sure where some good places would be but try taking him to a hmm....i'll need to think on this one for a bit.
sorry. wish i could be more help.

Answer 10

yeah, you are mean, I wouldn't put up with it.

I would let you be however you are but wouldn't let you say what I'm allowed or not allowed to do. For even a minute. Unless the sex was amazing. Then I would temporarily give up some rights.

Answer 11

Yes, he is right to think you are mean, however he must like it, otherwise he would be gone by now.