can anyone help me figure out how do deal w/mom dying?

Answer 1

maria -
You don't need to get over it as other people have said you need to. As long as you don't end up hurting yourself you can deal with this however you want. You don't always need to feel happy but you don't need to be sad all the time either. You don't even have to know what you are feeling, as long as you are ok with that. If you don't know what a feeling is and you want to then talk with someone and figure it out. People will listen to you, trust me. Just do what you need to do. If you feel like you need to get up and exercise then get up and exercise, but if you feel like all you can do is stay at home and watch movies that's fine too, as long as you don't let it get to an extent where it is taking over your life. Remember: people can't tell you what to feel, it's up to you to do that. Others can only help you tell yourself what to feel. It's going to be hard, and no one knows that better than you right now, but you can pull through if you want to do so. People are there for you, remember that.

Answer 2

There's no easy way to deal with any kind of death.

When it's your parents and you are young that's even worse.

I am 32 and thankfully still have my parents so i'm probably not the right person for your question but, try to keep visiting your mothers grave site. It may help with the initial grieving process.

I do know there are stages a person goes through when dealing with a death. The first is always Denial. then there's the Anger stage. Then the Mourning/Grieving Stage. And i know there is an Initial Acceptnce Stage(I'm sure there's more stages in ther but those are the only ones I know of).

I also know that you have to stop asking yourself why did this happen? There is nobody on this earth to answer this type of question, whether we like it or not we have to accept what turn of events we are facing, and keep living our lives.

Talk about your feelings constantly, tell anyone who will listen. This will help the grieving process and will help you accept the death easier. Do not bottle your emotions inside. That's where the visiting of the grave site may come into play. Tell your mom how you feel, how your doing, what new and exciting things are happening in your life. She will always be there watching and guiding you through the rest of your life(I believe this is true). Even though you can't see her she's there. So tell her how you feel.

I hope things get better for you, and I hope this helps a little bit.
My Condolences.

Answer 3

My mom is still around, so I can't help from first-hand experience, but I watched MY mom deal with her mother's death a few years back, and here are some things that I observed.
First of all, she was sad. Very sad. But she kept going - she still got up in the morning, and she kept doing the things she had always done.
I don't know that you ever get over your mom dying, but I do think that you have to keep living your own life - it sounds trite, but of course everyone eventually dies.
Now we talk about my grandmother - especially at family gatherings. We tell funny stories about her...we remember things she talked about to us...things she taught us. Even though she isn't physically with us anymore, she's still there anyway.

I don't think there are any words to say that ever seem like they could be enough, but I hope that these words helped you in some way -

Answer 4

Is she still in a talking state of mind, not unsconsious? (not sure how to say that, pleasantly of your need of help)You need to know of her will, where its at, who her life insurance policy is. Does she have a living will? What about her bank account and bills? You need to clear your mind up soon with these questions. Gives a peace of mind, that you handled it.

Put together a photo album together from her younger years to her later years. Maybe get a few tape recordings of her voice on VHS/DVD video or cassette.



Helping Your Child Deal With Death
... this difficult time, ask a friend or family member to care for and focus on your ... As kids learn how to deal with death, they need space, understanding, and ...

http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/talk/death.html

Hope that helps you out.
Best wishes! Miracously recovery to your mom!

Updated: I think you need to have a good cry by yourself, then a long steam like shower. Get the most moments with your mom, and hug her. Tell her what she meant to you. Don't cry til she cries. Ladies first on this cry!

Answer 5

I have worked in an Emergency Room for 5 years and I have found that Hospice is the best when it comes to not only helping people who are passing away but also is a great resource for families. They offer so much for families such as support groups and counseling. My advise for you is to contact your local hospice services in your area. You can also look up hospice on the web. I know that you will be glad you did! God Bless!

Answer 6

To see your mother pass away before your eyes is a hard thing to take. This is why we have to rely On God for help. When you have a relationship with Him Life has meaning and hope.

Answer 7

I'm out of both parents and my only sister. Grieving processes take time. Give yorslf time to recover. Remember the good things about her.

Answer 8

Listen, find a hobby! Trust me it will help, and make it something you like doing together. It has helped me good luck. Its never easy, but then again what really is?

Answer 9

I am sorry to hear that.
Please know that your mom is passing physically but spiritually she will always be with you. Love her and remember that the spirit never dies.

Answer 10

my mom pass away over a 10 yrs ago u never get over it... i miss her very much she was my best friend in the world.... but just always remember she will always be with u she will be your angel ......... just think she will not be sick no more she will be with jesus......... but u will be ok it will be hurt but u will be fine