hello,i have a problem that i have been tossing around pushing it to the side and trying not to be shallow about but it seems to be taking over me anymore.i have been in a relationship with a man for 6 years now.we have three children.he is a hard worker,good with the kidsand does not do drugs or drink.i feel ashamed about the way i feel and pray about it often.there is no sexual attractivness towards him and he is not affectionate at all. we have not kissed or slepted in the same bed in about 3 years.i find myself attracted to other men and have dreams of kissing other men.i often feel lonely even when he is around but feel guilty because of our beautiful children.when i talk to him about it he just says you cant have everything and i am acting immiture.i feel scared about breaking up the family,and scared because i am a stay at home mom without any savings.and scared to lose my children.my family hates him and has completly cut me off .i need some help.
2006-11-17 12:49:12 · 12 answers · asked by thrpvrnc 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The only way to make this work is to tell him how you feel. it won't be easy, there will be some arguements, but let him know how you feel. Tell him about your dreams, and make sure you let him know that you don't want to hurt him, and you don't want to leave him. Let him know that you don't feel the conection between yall any more. Yall should start by sleeping together again then when in the same room and the kids are sleep you let him know how you feel. Make sure you ask him why does he treat you like he do, because this doesn't seem right in a relationship for 6 years, and have three kids??? WAIT IS HE CHEATING ON U???? You need to find that out first, then tell him how you feel, let him know you think yall relationship is going down hill, instead of going up hill.
2006-11-17 13:00:50 · answer #1 · answered by xxMiizzCxx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think attraction helps but isn't everything to a relationship. I feel you need to talk and decide how to make things better for the both of yous and your children. If you moved on what happens if this attractive guy cheats on you cuz hes so good looking. I think sometimes underneath and the person inside really counts more also maybe just trying new things in the bedroom or getting sexy might be all you need to spark up some magic at least give it a chance and try.
2006-11-17 20:55:57 · answer #2 · answered by wildrose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hun, its time to move on. Unless you can be happy with a guy that shows no love or affection what so ever. he sounds like a complete loser, and might be getting it on the side. You are better off finding another, and losing him. as far as the kids go, as long as its not bitter between you and your soon to be ex, they will be fine..keep the family ties strong. And if you nust be bitter do it at the right time, not when the kids are around. it will be hard at first, as adjustments usually are. But what kind of husband doesn't want to have sex wuth their wife? a cheating one, or just a flat out scum bag.. you shouldn't have to live like that. And feeling uncomfortable about the love thing in a marraige, is just a sign that things ended years ago. financially there are always options out there for single mommies.. you are never really stuck. remember that. you can get help feeding your family (welfare), child support, housing assisstance. the list goes on and most places offer subsidized daycare for low income mommies.. don't ever feel stuck. do what makes you happy
2006-11-17 21:02:46 · answer #3 · answered by Dot9330 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont feel guilty over this at all. I think that you are feeling like maybe you need to stick around because of the kids situation. Well, it will be a healthier environment for your children if they see you in a happy healthy realtionship with another man. What you do right now will determine what they do later. So think of your children. Be fair to the man your with when it comes to letting him see them. Hopefully, everything will work out. You deserve to be happy and well the truth is that the man you with does too, so maybe you both will see this to be the best move for the both of you. Good Luck!
2006-11-17 20:59:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what you need to do. You and him need some time alone. Take the kids to someone to watch them and plan a romantic weekend for the two of you. Maybe fulfill one of his most wildest fantasies. Get to know each other all over again. Or you could go see a counselor. First you need to talk to him and tell him how you are feeling in a way that makes him see that you still want to be with him. Say things like i miss the way we used to be and i miss you. Tell you love him and want to rectify the situation.
2006-11-17 20:59:19 · answer #5 · answered by meme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say get out you are unhappy and this is wrong! It's not fair to you or your kids or even to him. You all deserve to be happy and if that means not being with this man then that is what you must do. You can not torture yourself feeling guilty, you will be a stronger more independent person if you leave this unhappy relationship. It's my op ion you all will be happier in the end, if you separate.
2006-11-17 20:59:32 · answer #6 · answered by inmate3685 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the best option is for u to leave him and get a job its better to live with someone u are happy than to be with someone u are not because u are giving ur kids the example that they dont have to be inlove to be with someone and that is not a good exapmle for them... iam pretty sure that ur kids will get hurt at first but they will understant what u are going thru when they are old enough. for now the best option would be for u to look for a job before u live him then when u have a good job and u know u can support ur self and ur kids then u do not have to take his rejection any more.. good luck with that
2006-11-17 20:54:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say to take your kids with you, move out, and let him have visitation rights. Then get on with your own life and see other people. You're in a prison right now. Set yourself free!
2006-11-17 20:52:34 · answer #8 · answered by violet46 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he doesn't care about your feelings.........maybe he is seeing someone else. It is not fair for you to put your life on hold for someone who does not acknowledge your feelings. As far as you not having a job you could get child support and alimony from him. Don't raise your children to think this type of behavior is normal.
2006-11-17 20:59:45 · answer #9 · answered by horsecrazy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know how you are feeling i feel the same way right now and have no idea what to do about it i thought about cheating or leaving or something but i dont want to upset God he does not like these things so if you find an answer please let me know good luck and God Bless!!!
2006-11-17 20:55:05 · answer #10 · answered by *Heather* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋