2006-11-17 12:19:00 · 38 answers · asked by Buddriver 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
No, reading something she wrote entirely for her will NOT result in good outcome. Not only will she feel hurt and upset that you read her own private thoughts but her rights have been violated and you just broke her trust in you. Hence the word diary. She is 18 and an adult so it's none of your bussiness anymore. The least thing she wants is for parents poking around in her diary. Best interest in heart or not it's wrong and mean for you to read her diary. She'll come to you when she is ready. It's not up to when she will and not for you to force her.
2006-11-17 12:30:48 · answer #1 · answered by 13 year old girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I would never read my child's diary. I had it done to me. I was a good kid, well behaved, never gave my parents cause for worry, yet my mother never trusted me. She found out private things about me that she could have only known from reading my diary. I started writing it in code, and she got really angry at me, and couldn't say why, because then she would have to admit she had been reading it. At 18, your daughter is an adult, and deserving of respect. The fact that she lives at home though, means the respect is a two way road. It's your home, and you have certain rules that must be kept.Talk to her as an adult. Say you are worried about her lifestyle. Lay down the rules; keep it simple; and stick to them. If she does not comply, or want to comply, withdraw privileges. Are you supporting her financially? Then take some thing you are supplying away from her. With MY daughter, i told her the washing machine was mine and so was the television, the computer, the radio, the hot water, etc,if she wanted to do her own thing, then she could do her own laundry, with her own washing powder - you get the picture.
2006-11-17 12:31:01 · answer #2 · answered by marie m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The daughter is 18 years old, so she is an adult. She is responsible for her choices.
That said, the parents have every right to be sure there are no illegal drugs in the house. They do not want to have to explain to the police how they suspected their daughter was using, but did nothing.
For that reason, I encourage the parents to search for drugs, but not read the diary.
The daughter is not being provided alcohol by the parents, so they are fine there. And she is entitled to have sex, if she so chooses, so there's no conflict or worry.
2006-11-17 12:28:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not! Once trust is violated by the complete invasion of privacy, it is nearly impossible to be fully regained.
If she's 18, she needs to be treated as an 18 year old - - an adult. And if there is a concern about drugs, alcohol, or other issues, they need to be addressed directly.
The most powerful thing in the world is the truth. The truth needs to be upheld. Snooping might sound like a good idea, but all this does is subvert the truth, which ultimately causes resentment.
2006-11-17 12:32:20 · answer #4 · answered by YahooAnswers 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on the parents, and the child. If you're someone who would explode after finding out the truth, then I think it is better not to. You will end up in a big argument. Although reading her diary is a shortcut, but so what if you find out when you've already suspect her? The best is to just persuade her, console her and teach her of all the steps to take from that onwards...Hope that helps!
2006-11-17 12:31:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. She is your daughter, and her best interest is at heart. It is your duty to know and do what you must to intervene to help her get her life on track. We had a similar thing recently with my 15 yr old step daughter. We read her notes, and learned a few things. We were able to talk to her in a way that she didn't know we read the notes.
She will feel that her trust has been broken (but so has yours). When you talk to her, if you confess reading her diary, you cannot let the conversation fall into a discussion of her privacy, it has to be about her future, and how what she is doing now compromises her future.
GOOD LUCK.
2006-11-17 12:24:13 · answer #6 · answered by Beth M 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all talk with her, DO NOT READ HER DIARY. Even if you read it it would only make things worse as she is an adult and there is nothing you can do other than kicking her out, if your suspicions of drug use is true. As far as sex and alcohol she's a grown woman and there is nothing wrong.
2006-11-17 14:16:28 · answer #7 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, how would you like it if she read yours? Give her the same respect that you expect of her. Come right out and ask her about the things that have you concerned. Feel free to make your concerns known, but also respect the fact that she is 18, needs to make a few mistakes, and also needs to be treated the way you would treat your best friends daughter if something happened to your best friend. Get it?
2006-11-17 12:25:37 · answer #8 · answered by sexmagnet 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO - 18 is a adult, not a child, if she was 17 I'd say go ahead, but if you really suspect it, you could boot her out into the real world. Sometimes kids need a good dose of reality. This could be the best lesson you could teach her.
2006-11-17 20:30:28 · answer #9 · answered by olschoolmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the . . . !? No! Ask them about it and don't be confrontational. Reading the diary is only going to make them do more of what you don't want them to do.
Alcohol - He or she is 18 - it's a part of life. Make sure they know not to drive or get caught.
Sex - make sure he or she knows about protecting themselves.
Drugs - Pit your acceptance of sex and alcohol against this one and say you'll give him or her two out of three.
2006-11-17 12:30:12 · answer #10 · answered by Brntte3078 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋