I love him but hes totally in another plane, and lovesick,. I want to stay together but I am scared becayuse he keeps saying things that have me believe hes daydreaming about marriage when weve only been together for about a month. I dont want to hurt this guy, hes totally great but his love is over the top and mine is just getting started. I cant help but worry that if we dont communicate the relationship is doomed. After all, we still are getting to know each other arent we? But what do i say or do? I dont want to hurt him or ruin everything, just want to be on the same page somehow.
2006-11-17 10:42:19 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be careful. With an attitude like, "don't let anybody make you do anything you don't want to do" you will lose him. I'm not saying that you should do what you aren't prepared to do. You SHOULD move slowly, but don't put your relationship at risk just because he is doing something you don't like. Don't get too proud with yourself and push him away.
What I am hearing from you is that one day you hope to be where he is at now. But not yet. You could let him know that you want to savor every stage of the relationship, but aside from coming at him directly, you can try to get at the root of the problem.
He is merely immature. He lacks experience and self confidence. Guys get clingy because they fear that you will leave them for another. So... #1 They want to really savor the relationship (meaning get maximum pleasure) because they are afraid that it won't last. #2 They hear that girls want marriage so when they really like you they want to give you what they think you want. What you need to do is allay his fears and let him know that you want to be his. Make him feel VERY comfortable with your relationship. Don't challenge him. Give him every reason to trust you. Don't look at other guys. If other guys flirt? If you are with your boyfriend, physically move closer to him. Make it clear to any other guy that you are taken. Make it clear to your boyfriend that you are making it clear to other guys. Don't TELL him. SHOW him. Just make it obvious. That should help with his confidence. Once he realizes that you are actually his and his alone, he should relax.
Above ALL ELSE!!! RESPECT HIM! Show him adoration. Show him that you are proud of him. You want to be with him in the long run because he is the best guy on EARTH! Maybe, right? Make him feel that way, and he will feel more confident.
2006-11-17 10:56:37 · answer #1 · answered by SmartAlex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
according to my view u have to make him understand and realize the situation. make it clear and dont be in a hurry to tell him what you wish to. just wait for the right moment, take the apportunity when he is in a very good mood. dont every try to explain conversial things when he is in bad mood bcos this can simply ruin ur relationship.
becos it seems u want to continue the relationship which is definately a good sign. well even i think one month is too fast for marriage.
think take ur time and make decisiosn stepwise this is what u should try to explain him in a fruity and less annoying way which would hurt him as less as possible. this would also ascertain the continuity of ur relationship.
2006-11-17 18:48:25 · answer #2 · answered by mohnkhan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont let nobody make you do something you are uncomfortable with. And you can tell that he is not somebody you want to get sireous with because of the way he is acting. He has emotional problems that you dont want to deal with
2006-11-17 18:44:34 · answer #3 · answered by karenmariawayne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to tell him that you don't want to move as fast as he does, and you feel that it's important to move slowly for the relationship to grow into a strong and healthy one. Hope that helps.
2006-11-17 18:46:08 · answer #4 · answered by COURTNEY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this guy has no idea that it takes time to develop real love. he's probably more in love with "the idea of being in love" than he actually is in love with you.. talk to him and share your thoughts and tell him to slow down.. tell him there's no rush and that things will progress naturally..
as far as his marriage comments, tell him you'd never marry someone you haven't dated for at least 2 years. that should get his attention!
2006-11-17 18:49:49 · answer #5 · answered by Jeff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let him know straight out...dont spark his fantasies....trust me..leading someone on is not a good idea..i got a stalker out of it..AND HE WAS FROM SOUTH AMERICA!! honesty is the best policy..bottom line
2006-11-17 18:47:28 · answer #6 · answered by stefanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is way to clingy. Or he may be testing you.
2006-11-17 18:44:36 · answer #7 · answered by cabooseking 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋