Ok..I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years (I'm 21 he's 25) and here lately we have been fighting a lot. The main cause of the fight is that I work to much. Which I understand because I do. I work at a police department and here lately we have been having to pull some pretty long shifts. If I were him I'd feel a little neglected myself. My problem is he wants me to get a different job because he doesn't like my hours and I don't get paid enough. I agree with that also but I LOVE my job. Is he somewhat right in wanting me around more? It's not like he is being bossy or controlling about it because he's not TELLING me to do it he's just askin. I just really don't want my job to be the cause of so many fights when we've made it 2 years with hardly fighting at all. Any suggestions are great. THANX!!
2006-11-17 10:30:49 · 5 answers · asked by mthcowgurl 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I've been at this job for a little over a year.
2006-11-17 10:37:37 · update #1
We have lived together for about 7-8 months. And I love him very much.
2006-11-17 10:39:53 · update #2
1) You need to look at his opinions and value them. How long have you been at this job? Think about the pros: you like your job, you like your coworkers. Think about the cons: you don't get to see your boyfriend much, the pay isn't good, the hours can suck.
2) Talk to him about alternatives. Could you work part-time and grab a different full-time job? Obviously money is always going to be an issue, but so is your happiness. You need to look in yourself and see what's important. Are you in position to find a new job, especially in this economy?
3) Fights are a part of a relationship, and they can only make a relationship stronger. Perhaps you could take your boyfriend on a vacation soon; maybe that's what he is needing.
In the end, your decision needs to be about you, but you need to talk about with your boyfriend too.
2006-11-17 10:35:21 · answer #1 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmm... this is a tough one. on one hand, he should be thankful that u have a job that you LOVE, and understand that u are spending a lot of time there, and treasure the time u have together. on the other hand, he has a point if u can make more money somewhere else AND spend more time w/ him.
my situation is different, but here's how i feel about it: my boyfriend and i are 26 and 27...together for almost 1 year. he is starting to work 12 hour days, and we both live w/ our parents and cannot see eachother alone very much. now, i do wish we could spend more time together (so does he.. sometimes he 'acts up' and then when i question him, he says he's frustrated cuz we don't get much time togehter)... but then i think, when/if we get married, we have All the time in the world to spend nights togehter u know? so if we have to sacrifice a bit now, it's worth it. and, if we DON'T get married, at least i wouldn't have changed my whole life to revolve around him u know?
what if u change ur job, and something happens and u don't get married... wouldn't u regret leaving ur job? i think if u were marreid already, then yes u may have to leave ur job. but ur still dating, not Married, and therefore have a right to continue a job that u love.
after writing this, i think he should understand. and i think u should try to help him by making special "date" nights w / him, etc.... spend extra care to make him feel special. :) good luck.. if he gets upset or doesnt' understand that u love ur job, he may be a little bit selfish.
2006-11-17 18:37:06 · answer #2 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm.. he's wrong and right. It's nice that he wants you around, but at the end of the day, your out working, not stripping or seeing another guy. Ideally you should be having good times together when you do get to see each other. In the police, there are (i think) possiblities for you to move around and still work in a similar field, so tell him that it wont be forever. You do love him, but you love your job too, and it's better for the both of you if you have things outside of each other.
2006-11-17 18:34:15 · answer #3 · answered by maria h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if ur job makes u happy then don't quit it cuz u shouldn't change yourself for a man but maybe u should try to make more of an effort to spend more time or do sweet things for him its quality not quantity that matters.
2006-11-17 18:34:33 · answer #4 · answered by mandy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah me and mine have problems like that, she works a lot and sleeps while she is not at work.....me and poor woody need attention, but she barks when we wake her up....
2006-11-17 18:33:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋