He was recently murdered last month and we have a 3 month old together. We were together for a year and a half and never once mentioned to me that he had three other children all in steps ranging from 10, 9, and 7. He told me that our son together was his first and how he was so excited.So you can imagine my dismay when all these women showed up @ his grandfather's house the day of his death with their kids all looking exactly like him . I was so !@#$#@ peeded off that I didnt attend the services for him out of town nor have
I attempted to contact his family . If anything I felt totally betrayed and just down right hurt. Me personally I feel like a damn fool. Please am I wrong for being so angry?
2006-11-17 10:25:53 · 9 answers · asked by LIBRA34 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you are soo rigth to be angry at him .
2006-11-17 10:28:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, you have a right to be mad at him. But you shouldn't be mad at him forever. Yeah I know he never told you but just think about it, if he could go on living, do you think he would eventually tell you. Maybe he was afraid of what would happen if he told you. Maybe he was waiting for the right moment. Maybe he was mad at himself and just didn't have the guts to admit it. My dad left when i was born and had 2 kids with a nother woman. He joined the army then moved to TX. He was never around for 15 years. I rarely ever got a phone call or birthday cards or anything like that. He never payed my mom child support. A year ago he all of a sudden decides he wants to be a part of my life. I find it in my heart to forgive him and let him back into my life. He gets a divorce and moves back to the state I'm in now. We have been close ever since and now I'm moving in with him soon. After the summer time my brother and sister might move in with us. My point is... people make mistakes and its up to you to decide if you can forgive them or not. Some people change. You can't change them. But they can change. I know your husband can no longer be around and I'm so sorry. But don't let your son grow up thinkin that his daddy was a bad man. Deep down you know your husband is sorry. Good luck to you and I wish you the best. Once again I'm sorry for your loss. Remember to smile. Everythings going to be fine. It just takes time. =)
2006-11-17 20:20:19 · answer #2 · answered by Missi899 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
understandably so that you would be hurt and angry. but you can not take this out on his family. it was up to him to be open and honest with you in regards to these other children. you will never know why he did not tell you, and his family may not know either. it is possible that these other girls are in the same situation as you. that they did not know about the other children. i hope that you don't plan on keeping your child away from these people. this is not their doing, it was his. deal with your anger and then give them a call. maybe they would like to see their grand baby. and you should allow them too. you can not change what has happened any more than they can.
2006-11-17 18:34:48 · answer #3 · answered by here to help 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Really now. What good would that do you or your child?
He was wrong for not telling you but, it's done.
Now it's up to you to make sure that your child will have memories of the man irreguardless of your hurt feelings.
Time for you to remember the good in him nad move on. Remember. To forgive is devine.
Good luck.
2006-11-17 19:37:50 · answer #4 · answered by Smurfetta 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are dealing with a lot of mixed emotions right now. Grief,betrayal,and dealing with taking care of your son alone. You have the right to be upset, just don't become obsessed with the anger. You have your Son, and he is worth everything.
2006-11-17 18:36:19 · answer #5 · answered by kayboff 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make your anger work for you, your were not a fool, nor did you do any thing wrong, So get even by raising your son to be the best person he can possibly be. and not only will he be a credit to himself but to you as well
2006-11-17 18:31:28 · answer #6 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No .. you have the right to be angry with him .. what he did was deceitful ... maybe as time passes you can forgive him ... and then go from there ... whichever you decide to do .. cause you still have his child to think about also.
2006-11-17 18:32:33 · answer #7 · answered by common sense 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you have every right to be upset with him that he was dishonest with you but he's dead now theres nothing you can do except move on with your life and be a wonderful mother to your child
2006-11-17 18:33:24 · answer #8 · answered by wildone 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you have every reason to be mad. he should of told you. but rember you have a son with him and he need you now more then ever
2006-11-17 19:38:55 · answer #9 · answered by braveheart3g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋