my last patner cheated on me after 13yrs and 3 kids later how do i trust my new partner he goes out alot i dont mind that but now and then i panick and think hes cheatting on me help
2006-11-17 10:25:47 · 9 answers · asked by kat 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You can make a conscious choice to trust him, simple as that, and until he gives you reason not to trust him, then you really need to trust. Let me ask you this.....Does it change the outcome if you dont trust? Does it stop the person doing what he/she wants to do anyway?....No, it doesnt, all distrust does is make you sick with worry and will make you paranoid. Trust him, not all men are the same, you know that. If he has done anything at all to make you distrust him, then find out what he is really doing. If he has done nothing to make you suspicious, then just love and trust him. It sure is a hell of a lot easier for you especially and like I said, what good is not trusting anyway, it wont change any outcome.
2006-11-17 10:32:53 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its sad but true that once we have been duped......we can never quite be the same again. This man is not the man who inflicted the pain on you yet it becomes hard to know....and we then look for all the signs we may have missed the first time round. Why not talk to him and explain your insecurities and where they stem from and request he help you to work through it.........don't go at it all guns blazing and acuse........this will only be destructive. Your self esteem has been damaged by past experience and you have the idea that he may cheat......then aks why? if things are good between you Why wouldhe wantto? If he is good to you...he loves you and you love him....the platform is strong.
2006-11-18 04:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was with a girlfriend and I cheated on her, she has not forgiven me fully but we're good friends, I know she finds it hard to trust me so I will listen to her and put up with her uncertainty as i care for her and she means he world to me. I wish I'd seen this before. People say once a cheat always a cheat, I don't think so, I know I have changed I just hope you don't get let down.
2006-11-17 18:51:53 · answer #3 · answered by Dale H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.....calm down..... first of all.... if you are not able to trust this man... then maybe you should not be with him... i mean.... 13 YEARS is a long time.... and i think you may still need more time to do some healing and realize that you ARE capable of being loved and you ARE worthy of a good man that respects and loves you as much as you do him!!!.... what you shouldn't do is start flipping and accusing him every time you feel insecure... what you should do... is tell him how you feel... explain to him that you are feeling some insecurities and explain to him why.... he will feel spacial that you opened up to him and told him how you felt instead of jumping down his throat and trying to keep him locked up into the house because you feel he may be being "unfaithful".... explain that you know it is not his fault that you feel this way.. but be sure he understands that because the relationship was so long and therefor has caused a very deep emotional response from you that it is now unfortunately something that you have to deal with....... explain to him that you honestly feel that you could deal with this much better if the two of you dealt with it together....
GOOD LUCK!!!!
2006-11-17 18:34:09 · answer #4 · answered by honey_coated_love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you feel insecure because your last partner cheated on you,that does,NT mean that this one will,you will just have to learn to trust him or your relationship wont work.that's the main key in a relationship,but off course your going to feel like that,because off your last relationship,that's only natural,wish you luck.
2006-11-17 18:33:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Without trust in a relationship, there can be no love.I always trust people at their word, unless they give me reason to think otherwise.
2006-11-17 18:28:14 · answer #6 · answered by WC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Test him. If you don't have trust in him, don't give and share everything. It is hard to trust someone because even the one(s) you have trusted for so long had betrayed you.
2006-11-17 18:28:05 · answer #7 · answered by leazngurl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask Him/her alot of questions all the time. See if his/her pupils are wide (if they are her/him is lieing) PLEASE NOTE: Don't ask him/her in the dark. I He/her is talking loud and wide pupils and kind of stumbling on his/her words be suspicious.
2006-11-17 18:32:41 · answer #8 · answered by 2 Minutes ago 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trust no 1 but yourself! tell him your situation
2006-11-17 18:36:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋