why are older mothers and women so judgmental over young mothers and women?

Question

Why is that? We both are mothers, we both go through the same thing and we both get through it. Why are we so different from you in your minds?

I'm getting the cases from everywhere and I am not always the one getting attacked with words and looks.

Answer 1

reason the older women give you hell is they are jealous of the admiring looks you get and the youthful looks you still have. they just can't stand the thought of them not getting the chances you get to make out. just think about it and i think you will see what i tell you is true.

Answer 2

I think you're internalizing something that has come from your own insecurities.

It's not so much that people are judgemental over young mothers...it's that they're concerned. We who have been thru parenting (whether we had our kids at a young age or an older one) know how difficult it is...Additionally, we know how much growing up happens for even young adults, and it's really so much more difficult to do when you're supposed to be helping someone else grow up.

Also, some of us who have worked really hard to be good parents are bothered by the parents of young mothers...Not the young mothers themselves, but the slacker parents who brought them up and let them get into that situation (did you see the post from earlier today from the pregnant 13-year old, regarding her pregnant 12-year old sister?).

I had a (beautiful, amazing, wonderful) daughter when I was 16. I know that at the time, I believed that people were looking down on me because I was a young mother. However, as I discuss life with people now, I know that most people respect me for making a difficult choice, and for being a good parent, despite all of the additional difficulties that I faced doing so as a teenager.

On top of all this, what people think of you is entirely irrelevant. What you believe about yourself is all that matters.

<3

Answer 3

I got pregnant at 19 and had my child at 20. The thing is God made it so we can get pregnant that young so we would have enough energy to handle a child. Older women think they know everything and think younger mothers don't because they are either too young or single with a child. But that would be the only difference is being with someone or on your own. We both face the same problems. Most the time our kids turn out alright. We do the best we can in the situation we are in.

(Oh I am 20 by the way I was just putting in my two-sense)

Answer 4

Why do younger moms take it so seriously when they do? I mean, why give anyone that power over you??

Humans are constantly comparing things, it's like an evolutionary power that used to be helpful. Now that we're all living in communities surrounded by other people rather than toxic foods and predatory animals, we compare each other.

Once you look at it like that, it's easy to see that someone has to desperately defend the way they did things or else they are admitting what they did was perhaps not the best way...regardless of who or what or when or why. And it's much easier to defend your own position by attacking those who do it differently.

We march to a different beat here, and we get all kinds of looks. Fortunately I'm now an older mom rather than the younger one I used to be, and I don't see most of it. Maybe I'm used to the looks. And maybe I have enough experience to realize it doesn't matter what other people think of me. The rest I tell to blow off. It's fun ;-)

Answer 5

being a mother gives you this sense of perfect accomplisment. You feel like you've seen it all as far as motherhood is concerned. Sometimes, somewhere along the way,you become judgemental.- about other people's parenting abilities, specially younger peoples'. It takes a mature person to be non judgemental.You need to control your thoughts and learn to smile at everybody in acceptance. But if everybody was so sweet, the world would be a boring place....

Answer 6

They likely feel that they have more life experience than you and that they 'know better'.

It sounds like you have met some negative people...but you should not let that allow you to avoid the advice that nicer older mother's have to offer you. You can learn a lot from someone who has been through things that you have not...how to deal with certain problems and even how to avoid them.

Answer 7

don't comprehend the place you come from, yet for me youthful females are impossible to mattress and that's ok because of the fact i like older women human beings! yet at your age and older i'd experience the comparable yet i'd in all threat be married with youngsters and that i does not prefer to pass out as a Paedophile or toddler molesterer. only carry it in choose for twenty-somethings!

Answer 8

they look at young mothers as woman who are not old enough to comprihend being a parent and understanding the responsibility... they see a young mother and think there still in there party phase... which most are true... but there are young mothers out there who are more responsiable then the older women...

Answer 9

everyone reaches the 'age' of 'i refuse to deal with bullshart'.
young mothers typically (not always, but , typically) want to still have A LIFE. having a life and having children are 2 totally different things.
at a young age, typically, women want someone to love unconditionally and for someone to love her unconditionally (at a young age it isn't typically found in a man).
at an older age, a woman wants children to raise. someone to teach life lessons to. older women want to put their attention on a child , not self.
as you get older you become more selfless than selfish.

i totally see where you are coming from, though.
can you see where i'm coming from?

Answer 10

We don't mean to be judgmental but most of us have seen things that we pray you will never have to. Just remember this one important thing,[every child is a gift and should be the center of the world, at least yours.]

Answer 11

Sounds like an unhelpful generalization that all older women and mothers are that way. Care to give more details? Are you sure you're not extrapolating all cases from just your own case?