what can you do?

Question

when you are a single male, and have never really had a steady relashionship except flings here and there and are desperate for female company? its really getting me down i aint got a girlfriend im 29 and deal with psychiatric probs including low self esteem anger inner, and high anxiety and panic which ive had for a long while..im not afraid to tell it like it is, what the hell...i just no i hate being alone and lonely...i dont want just any old person either, i want that special someone for me that i want, not thats offered...any other male ever experience this? its awfull i cant stand it i must be weak or inadequate

Answer 1

You sound like a bit of a psycho but thats ok, I suggest sorting yourself out first. Set the alarm clock for 4am get up showered and go for a walk around the local green area park etc savouring the peace and tranquility, say hello or nod to everybody you pass, go to a coffeeshop and have a lite breakfast whilst reading a newspaper, do this for one week, after one week you will be sleeping better, have a greater appreciation of your vicinity and your senses will have heightened.

Answer 2

Ok i want to help you, first of all you should have confidence in yourself, do not be too low because of you just dont have a girlfriend right now.That is not the only reason why we live. We live because God wants us to praise Him and with this reason we could find true happiness and completeness.After you have God in your life then everything will go in right places, your love life, your family, work and even yourself.Having no gf at 29 makes you not less person or inadequate to live, its just that its not your time yet to have a relationship with other, because theres other things that you should get priority first, and thats your self.Just put good things in your mind, have true friends who will be there for you and dont get intimidated too much or get selfpity if others think negatively about you. Just remember they are not the one who created you and they are not the one who will govern your life, but its only God who could judge us if we are good or not.Ok?Just have a good view of yourself, be happy for what you have right now, appreciate the ones who love you like your family and friends and most of all have faith with God for He will be there for you always and protect you from the bad people that misjudge you and down you. Hope i somehow make you smile. Thats all!!

Answer 3

I sort of know where you are.... I have been sinking into depression in a similar way. The thing is, if your self esteem is low, and you are angry, people/girls pick up on these vibes and it puts them off. You need to be proactive (otherwise you will end up depending on anti-depressants), and for the short term BE SELFISH! Do things that you enjoy - indulge! Things like guilty pleasure music, watching movies that you would not normally but enjoy, go places you wouldn't normally. Once you focus on getting your confidence back, slowly everything else will fall into place.
Oh, and while you are doing all this, SMILE and give eye contact to all those ladies in the vicinity :)

Best wishes, and let us know WHEN you meet the woman of your dreams!!

Answer 4

yup, been there. Its one of those things though - don't try to force it otherwise you could end up with someone you really don't want. I've been the same (flings etc.) A relationship will not cure any mental problems - you realising your life isn't a disaster will cure that. You need to be right for yourself before anyone else can be otherwise the vicious circle will continue - low self esteem leads to no self belief, leads to wondering to oneself "what the hell would she see in a guy like me" leads to you not making a proper effort with a girl, leads to being and remaining single.

Answer 5

Im exactly the same except female, a few years younger, and with four boys all under 8. I feel you. What is a person to do?

Answer 6

Hard to be patient to wait for "the" one. But, in the meantime just be with those that are your friends...try and get out because that's how you meet people. We all have problems and hindrances, and sounds like you have your share, but that does not make you weak or indadequate.

Answer 7

Just think about it, if you can't stand being around yourself, no one else will, either. You have to change your perspective. You must love yourself before anyone else can.

Answer 8

if you want my opinion....just lighten up and have fun hanging out w/ friends till you find a cool girl
she will notice you faster if you are out there having fun, she will want that fun time with you !!!