What do you think of this poem?

Question

She walks across the room
Blood dripping on the floor
Shes not sure what to do
She just cant stand the pain anymore
Everyday she cuts deeper
Drawing more and more blood
Today she cuts so deep
The floor begins to flood
She starts to get dizzy
Needing to sit down
But cant make it to a chair
And suddenly hits the ground
Now as she lies on the floor
In a puddle of her blood
She thinks about her life
And all the wrong shes done
She makes one last decision
As she picks up her blood stained knife
She slides it once again across her wrist
This time ending her worthless life.


No this is not about me, nor does it show my feelings in any way. Its just something i wrote. So what do you think??

By the way. I have never written a poem before. This is my very first one.

Answer 1

This is a raw poem about suicide. Most publishers won't accept it, unless they specialize in dark poetry. It's okay. I don't know why that poem is in the singles and dating category. It should be in Books and Authors.

Answer 2

its good
here are a few sugjetions
for canges you coud make

She walks across the room
Blood dripping on the floor
Shes not sure what to do
She cant stand the pain anymore
Everyday she cuts deeper
each time she draws more blood
Today she cuts so deep
The floor begins to flood
She starts to get dizzy
Needing to sit down
she trys to make it to the chair
but falls down to the ground
Now as she lies on the floor
In a puddle of her blood
She thinks about her life
And all the wrong shes done
She makes one last decision
and picks up the blood stained knife
She slides it once across her wrist
to end her worthless life.

Answer 3

Saying that the poem is sad would be an understatement.

I'm probably taking this a little seriously but all I can say is that nobody should ever come to this point in their lives where they think the last option they have is to end their lives.

No life is ever worthless.

Even the worst humans can make a 180-degree turn and make their lives worth living again.

Answer 4

Well I think that cutting is a serious and sad problem with teenagers today. They are cutting themselfs because for the instant they feel the pain from the cut then all other problems go away. My daughter who is 12 was telling me about some kids in school that are cutters. It is horrible to think that kids are so neglected and noone in thier lives care.

Answer 5

It sounds like an elegy. Much thought. Depressing. But nothing is wrong with depressing. Poe wrote depressing poetry.
Very nice.

Answer 6

one thing though its violent and you say blood like 100 times and it only takes 20 minuets to die if u cut Ur wrists in water it takes 7 minuets! don't try it its not a joke , its good , but loses the rym at the end last 3 lines , nice

Answer 7

Poem are not always about the writer. I do like it. If this is something you like to do you should do a book and the book could have poem in to help other teen with how they maybe feeling. So you might want to think about that . If you do please let me know I will buy a book of your poem

Answer 8

pretty good. The only problem is that it might need to "flow better". When I write a poem, I go back to it like a week or to later and "fix it". But it's good

Answer 9

I think it is the saddest thing I have ever read. are you sure you are all right, usually when you create things it is a reflection of yourself, and extension, so this is why I hope all is well with you. Life isn't that bad, really. Peace

Answer 10

I really like it. Its a little depressing but it has great emotions. I like those kinds of poems. Let me Know if you any more. Keep writing. ROCK ON!!