Bedtime/Morning Battles???

Question

Im not sure what to do to end these battles? My son is 8, and doesnt listen in the morning and is VERY difficult. Does anyone have any ideas on how to get the kids to listen and get moving in the morning? Also, how do you get your kids to go to bed on time? His bedtime is 9pm, and im VERY strict about that, but he chooses to lay awake in his bed until 11pm or so instead of going to sleep. I cant give him a sleeping pill! How can I make this easier on both of us? Im sick of yelling, im sure hes sick of hearing it, and sick of geting priveledges taken away when he doesnt listen. Nothing works! Any ideas?

Unfortunately, he cannot miss school.. both of us work, and he has to take the bus to school in the moring. He doesnt seem to understand the concept of making sure he gets to teh bus on time without me saying "lets go!" 5,000 times.

Answer 1

My theory is that part of the reason he isn't motivated in the morning is cause he's still tired cause he didn't go to sleep until late. I had a similar issue with my older daughter at the same age and I just adjusted her sleeping schedule. had her get up earlier than usual and go to sleep earlier. And I told her that I want her to go to sleep at 9, not go to bed at 9. So I told her since it takes her an hour to go to sleep, that she'll go to bed an hour earlier then. a little while of getting up early (point in that is so she'll be tired at night) and going to bed early and problem solved.

Answer 2

Well this worked for me and it's not illegal. In the morning he has a certain amount of time to do everything. say 10 mins to eat his cereal or whatever you think is reasonable. If he's not done take it away if he doesn't want to get dressed he goes in his pj's. Make sure you send a note to school explaining the situation just so they don't think youare neglecting him, because in fact you are doing just the opposite. Bed time is bed time if he chooses to lay there awake that's his decision, he's the one that's going to be tired the next day as long as he stays in bed. No tv after 830 quiet activities only reading coloring etc. This way he is winding down tv just stimulates the brain. Let him pick his pj's pick out a story so he feels he has some control over the situation. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Well I would say that as long as your son is going to bed as you told him that is really all you can expect. Once he is in the bed it may take him a while to fall asleep but I usually dont nag my children about going to sleep if they are in the bed as long as they are not getting up and playing or talking and messing around. It could be possible that your son has a sleeping disorder sort of like insomnia although I am not sure since he is only 8. If you are worried about it maybe you should talk to a doctor about it. If he is not going to sleep until 11pm then that could explain his crabbyness in the mornings and not wanting to "get moving". If it is causing that big of a problem then as I said you may want to consult a doctor. Other than that I really wouldn't worry about it. I do know that young people CAN suffer from insomnia however I am not sure at what age it can be determined insomnia and what age it is considered rebellion. I myself suffered from it from the age of 12 until now. But that is a 4 year difference although not that big of a difference really. If that is what the doctors think it is then they could put him on sleeping pills which is what they did with me. You should also know that if they do put him on sleeping aids it is possible that it could make your morning problems more troublesome since he may still be groggy in the mornings from the medication.

Answer 4

1st thing: is he choosing to lay awake or is it that he can't fall asleep? There may be something that is keeping him awake. Try going into his room one night and lay in his bed with eveything exactly as it is for him. Close your eyes and try to listen to what is going on. Is there a bright light that shines in his window, a neighbor's dog barking outside? Is it too hot, too cold? Can he hear your tekevision or conversations you and your spouse are having? Any of these things could be preventing him from falling asleep. Also test out his pillow and mattress. Make sure they are comfortable for him. Some people even children actually need some kind of white noise to fall asleep. Even something as simple as a small fan running, just make sure it doesnt blow directly on him.
2nd thing: Can he get up and get motivated if its not a school day and you have somewhere to go? If the answer is yes then there may be some problem at school that is making him not want to go to school. If there is a bully or he is having problems with his teacher then he could be laying awake worrying and then not want to get ready in the morning. Talk to his teacher and see if they have noticed any changes in his attitude at school.
Finally: Try giving him an hour in bed to read or listen to relaxing music. My 8 yr old used to have a problem falling asleep b/c she was too wound up so we started putting her in bed at 8pm but allowing her to read for 1 hour. Usually she is asleep long before the hour is up. If all else fail talk to his pediatrician to make sure there is nothing physically wrong. Good luck!

Answer 5

My 8 year-old stepson has almost exactly the same problems. We have found that it goes along with his Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Bedtime was an absolute nightmare for months and we talked to his psychiatrist about it and got a sleeping pill prescribed...the first one didn't work, but he second one is the charm. He can still fight it and stay awake for a bit, but he's usually out about an hour after he goes to bed. The best thing is that he is easier to deal with in the mornings because he's getting enought rest. We still have to keep after him to stay on task, but he loves riding the bus and I just remind him that he'll miss it if he's late.

Answer 6

first off you HAVE to realize (for your own sanity) that you are not alone.
there have been scientific studies PROVING so. at this age it's NORMAL. just so you know, it will probably get worse as he gets into highschool age.
their sleep schedules change with hormones. sorry.
there was a 'thing' a few years ago where doctors (some kind of specialists) were saying that changing school schedules to go with the typical hormonal changes in children would work better. (have children learn better with better retention)

the only idea i have is to take everything out of his room except for his bed and an alarm clock. it's punishment. but is punishment what YOU and HE need or is it something else?

here's a thought. take him out of public school and try a private or home school for 6 months or so to see how it works.
also , no caffeine after 5:00 p.m.

Answer 7

Tired children are more difficult to manage. We had a similar problem with my grandson. Discussed it with doctor and he suggested a Benadryl (over the county allergy med) at bedtime. It did help by making him drowsy. Please don't take this into your own hands...what worked for us may not be the right thing for your son. Ask your doctor and see what he says.

You might also find it helpful to have a routine in the evening that funnels into bedtime. In this age of two parents working and hurried schedules, you may be dealing with a child who hasn't had sufficient time to wind down and get ready to sleep. Also, try to monitor his activities in the hour or so leading up to bedtime. TV, video games, etc. can be very stimulating. It might help to have a set time for bath (more relaxing than shower) and some time for reading before he actually has to hit the sheets.

Answer 8

Use an egg timer in the morning to time him getting dressed...make it a game to see if he can beat the egg timer, kids will enjoy ANYTHING if you make it into a game. Bedtime is different, do you allow him books to look at?does he have a nite light? I have found that a reward system has worked for getting my son to bed and to sleep. If he goes to bed nicely, he gets a star on his chart, after 7 stars he gets a reward for being such a good boy. Good Luck, parenting is the hardest job of all.

Answer 9

Ok a couple helpful hints...
If you have kids that fight in the car make them sit on their hands... If they dont get along at home.. make them write down what they hate about the sibbling and what they like and then go one at a time and make them explain why for each answer them if it continues make them spend the entire day playing with only eachother. If they get wild in the stores and stuff make them hold eachothers hands ha-ha believe me they hate it and they will behave. For bed times.. I would put my kids in bed 15 minutes before the actual time to sit and relax before sleeping and either read with them or tell my son he can ask me anything he wants and for 20 minutes i have to answer him only if he goes to bed right after.

Answer 10

Tell him that since he can not get on a sleeping schedule he will have to go to bed at the same time and get up at the same time even on none school days. Making them get dressed the moment they wake up even on none school days helps too. Stay away from caffeine and sugar as well.