my five year old wants to see her dad but i know if i take her he wont talk to her his family dont even know he has a child at all what do i tell her. i dont want to hurt her
2006-11-17 09:28:47 · 11 answers · asked by braveheart3g 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You HAVE to tell her the truth. She will eventually find out if you don't and resent you terribly. The truth will set you free!!
2006-11-17 09:30:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Speak with your husband, you must agree on something for the child`s sake! He should provide you financial support, and be a father of his daughter.
It is your mutual fault, guilt and responsibillity. But, I wonder why there are women like you, who make sex, bare children and cry upon society how miserable they are?? And it is not a question about yourself here, but this child - why did you let him just walk away from responsibillity five years already?
Go consult authorities, after all, he is the father of this child.
And regarding child`s mind... she is too young to understand anything about adults complicated and foolish life. You will only confuse her, her brain does not have enough information and experience to understand this. For the coming years, until she becomes atleast 10+ Just tell her that her daddy is away, in another country and concentrate her attention to something else - like a game, a fairytale, hug by mommy, something educational!
...
2006-11-17 09:36:27 · answer #2 · answered by Ateviel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh i feel for you, i know exactly what your going through. I had the exact situation with my first child and i thought the only thing i could do was try to get him to have a relationship with his child so i kept taking him to see his father, his father kept rejecting him and as he got older it affected his self esteem and confidence, he thought there was something wrong with him no matter how much i told him it wasn't his fault, in hindsight i wish i had never let him have any contact, sounds cruel but to see your child go through this is heartbreaking, I don't want to advise you not to let them have a relationship but all i can say is from my experience a father who doesn't want to acknowledge the child can do some huge damage to the child
2006-11-17 09:34:34 · answer #3 · answered by NUNYA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her in a context she can understand - make it a fairy tale. Use the stories she has been exposed to - a dragon or unicorn or whatever has cast a spell on Prince Daddy. You never know maybe her dad will wake from his spell. In the meantime, don't make it too elaborate - but again something that her mind can use until she gets older then you can share that some people in this world just aren't capable of loving.
Don't worry with your love alone, she will thrive.
2006-11-17 10:03:03 · answer #4 · answered by Applecore782 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard situation and I don't believe your child is at a age that she can really understand. The first thing for you to do, in my opinion, is to talk to the father. You need to tell him that she wants to see him... and maybe talk to him also about presenting her to his family. If he does not want to have anything to do with her, you need to prepare her with another story, or you may want to consult a child therapist to help you out. Rejection from a father is something that can influence and affect deeply your child. I believe it is better for her never to meet her father, than to have such a negative experience. Good lucky!
2006-11-17 14:12:27 · answer #5 · answered by Clara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try calling him first, that way she may be less dissapointed, if he dosen't want to talk to her then she may understand. Then tell her something positive like it's okay and better because now you get to spent more time with her. Try to find something the two of you can do to take her mind off of it like a movie or dress up or whatever she is into. I went through a very similar situation my self.
2006-11-17 09:33:40 · answer #6 · answered by lisa h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to know her father. It can not just be you holding this in. Talk to him, and see if he wants to be in her life. Slowly maybe he will start to realize that his family deserves to know her. Also, if he does not come to this realization, you need to tell them. She deserves a chance at a real family, so they should at least be informed so that they can be there for her. If they shun her and her father shuns her, then at least you and her both will know that it was NOT your fault, and your family will just have to find a way to make up for his.
2006-11-17 09:41:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
look man does the dad get along with you? if so ask him to go over to your house and meet her dad let them spend a day together or something
tell us what happens after if it works out
2006-11-17 09:33:59 · answer #8 · answered by paintballer91692 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should let her see her dad. i'm sure when she grows up she would want to know what happened to him. you are going to have to tell her sooner or later. if you don't let her go then explain to her why. she may be upset but at least she knows. i wish you good luck
2006-11-17 09:33:01 · answer #9 · answered by KATH K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her the truth. I work with 5 year olds at camp...just talk calmly and do not yell :)
2006-11-17 09:36:25 · answer #10 · answered by Yanks4Life23519 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋