Last night, my daughter in law pushed me hard into the side of a wall and I am 50. She is 22. She was cursing me, so I got in her personal space and told her not to ever use those words against me again. I already have a tore rotator cuff, the pain brought me to my knees it hurt so bad. I have been letting my daughter in law, son and baby stay with me while they get on their feet. The disrespect that I am getting is horrible. I am not a sickly person. I have a job, unlike her, she cant get a job because "she is pregnant." I am hurt, I am in pain. I wanted so bad to press charges but my son said, if you do mom, I will end up paying. I bought them a car, gave them food and place to stay. This is how they thank me. What should I do?
2006-11-17 09:23:14 · 38 answers · asked by msflightatt 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Kick their worthless butts out. All of them. Just because he is your son, you do not have to take physical violence. Call the cops and press charges. If you don't do it this time, you'll have to "next" time, because once she's gotten away with it, she'll do it again. Unfortunately, next time, you might not survive!
2006-11-17 09:26:07 · answer #1 · answered by Baby'sMom 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
From a lawyer's perspective...first of all, I am very sorry that you went through that experience. Here is what will happen if you press charges. Scenario 1: she pleads guilty and is placed on probation (assuming she has never been in trouble before). She will then end up paying monthly probation fees, a fine on top of that, performing a number of community service hours, etc. It is a very expensive probation, as well as time consuming. If she fails to abide by the terms of probation, her probation will be revoked and she will then be required to do some jail time. In Texas, the maximum confinement for an assault is 1 year. Scenario 2: she pleads not guilty. If you pursue it, you'll have to go to trial. Your son will be torn between his mom and his wife. Or you will drop charges and nothing will result.
My suggestion as a mom, a wife, a daughter, and a daughter in law: advise her and your son, if she ever curses you again, they will be required to move out of your home immediately. Further advise them, if she hits you again, you will in fact call the police and have her arrested.
If you follow my suggestion be prepared to actually DO what you advise them you will DO. If you don't follow through then you will lose all credibility and she will know you won't enforce your threats.
Another suggestion: TOUGH LOVE....I know it is hard when it's your child, but kick them out. Give them a month to find a place to go and tell them at the end of the month they are evicted. Sounds crazy, huh? Well, several years ago my brother moved to TX from MS because he was getting caught up in drinking and marijuana. I told him before hand, if you come to my house, you will follow my rules. If you break any of my rules I will throw you out. So, one of the rules was no coming to the house intoxicated or on drugs. He broke that rule and I threw him out that day. I did not let him move back in, even when he lost his apartment due to drug usage. My mom let him move in and he lived there without working for 4 years. He told me recently that I am the only person who ever held his feet to the fire. And he thanked me for that.
SO, those are my 50 cents worth. Hope everything works out for you.
Angelia
2006-11-17 09:38:24 · answer #2 · answered by angeliabb 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
As harsh as this sounds you need to hear it, You are being taken the piss out of left right and centre. Take a step back and look at what you have wrote, you have blatently bent over backwards to help them and they are ungrateful. Given they must be under stress too but noone deserves to take violence especially in their own home. I suggest you go to the jobcentre plus make an appointment and find out what benefit help etc they can get and then get all the info put it on the table and when they come home just say this isnt working for me and i'm sure its doing you any good either, I would rather do this and save our relationship rather than jeopardising what we do have. Offer your support with getting the ball rolling and the council can offer them housing benefit, income support, maternity grant and council list if needed. Dont bear the burden any longer you dont deserve it you only need offer your support they have to stand on their own feet and you shouldnt put up with any violent behaviour its YOUR home.
Good luck xx
2006-11-17 09:31:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree with Zebra about them moving out. I don't support pressing charges. Clearly the broad is a little b----, but she is your son's wife and grandchild's mother. Do you really want THAT to be your relationship? I know it isn't your fault, but how do you think that would make things better? Don't you think there is a more constructive way to deal with the relationship? However, you can't work on this with them being so disrespectful in your own home.
2006-11-17 09:42:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can i be honest with you? my mother was someone i respected more than anyone in the world and i think most people would agree, and i wouldnt see anyone treat her the way your son has seen his wife treat you, no excuses he got himself a bad un, disrespectful, ungrateful and violent toboot.Tell em to go you can only help em so much the rest is up to them, dont let them become dependant on you they wont respect you for it , just the opposite.Get them out stand on their own feet,you did your bit when he was a child he,s a man now! good luck xx
2006-11-17 10:31:59 · answer #5 · answered by buff 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter how bad things are for them, you should make them leave your home because of what she has done. You have taken them into your home and your son's wife has repaid you by verbally abusing and physically attacking you. This is disgusting and your son should have stood up for you. My man would be absolutely furious if I spoke disrespectfully to his mother and if I physically hurt her, it would be over. Your son should be ashamed of himself and of his wife. Actually yes I do think you should press charges. Somehow this little tramp has to learn exactly WHY she has to control her emotions. We all feel angry with other people sometimes, and sometimes with good reason, but we are not savages and we can't go round hitting other people, even if they really did deserve it. And what kind of behaviour is this for the stupid girl to be teaching her children? She is acting as if she ought to be in kindergarten herself.
Tell your son to take her to live in a trailer park where she belongs.
2006-11-17 10:26:47 · answer #6 · answered by Specsy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could ask them to leave! Not sure why you are considering pressing charges but are not considering asking them to go - or are you? Why are you putting up with such abuse? I know he is your son but you deserve respect. You could press charges but nothing much would happen. Stop giving so much and think about yourself in all this as it seems neither your son nor his family are doing this. They will be fine and once they have the baby if they have nowhere to live, social services will give them some assistance.
2006-11-17 09:28:36 · answer #7 · answered by Stephanie C 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Pregnant or not, to show you such disrespect in your own home and pushing you around like that if your son wont sort your daughter-in-law out then send them packing now and dont feel guilty about it. Until you put your foot down and mean it things will only get worse and there will be more resentment!
2006-11-17 09:32:45 · answer #8 · answered by mistickle17 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Kick them out. If they cannot respect the woman who is sacrificing so much for them, then they don't deserve it. They need to learn that things are not going to just be handed to them throughout life. Pressing charges will make things worse, so I wouldn't go there. Just give them a month to save a little and find somewhere else to go. It will be hard to do to your son and grandbaby, but if he's not stepping in to protect you and tell his wife to show some respect, then he is also not showing respect.
2006-11-17 09:32:15 · answer #9 · answered by graybear 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Boot them all out. If someone gets married is because he is man enough to go out on his own, not stay with mommy. I know he's your son and you love him but you have no obligation to put up with your b i t c h of a daughter in law. Stand up for yourself woman! Don't let that b i t c h push you around in your own house!
2006-11-17 09:31:40 · answer #10 · answered by muffin198486502 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋