together he has had 2 girlfrends. We dont see each other when he has girlfrends.Howewr he aleays comes back to me for sex when the relationships are over.I keep hoping we will become an item but he always talks about finding 'Mrs Rite'. Am I a doormat? i think i already know the answwer but i jst want to hear others points of view.
2006-11-17 09:20:22 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
why would you be so content to have leftovers? do you know that he is having sex with those girls? do you not care if he comes to you right after? yes you are a doormat and you deserve so much better. ive been there and its hard when you really like the person, but you have to let go. dont answer his calls, dont call him. be strong and it will pass. hes not looking long term, its been 3 years.
2006-11-17 09:23:57 · answer #1 · answered by MiaDiva28 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You let yourself be used. It will be hard to ever establish any other kind of relationship with this man, as he sees you as an easy lay and nothing else. Break it off with him and work on getting some self esteem so next time you can be a partner in a relationship, not just a sexual convenience. You are better than that - but you have to believe it; some counseling might help.
There are really two things you must do: First, stop being available for sex with this man. Completely - it's OVER. Second, do whatever you have to do to make absolutely sure you don't end up as the next guy's doormat. You really have to be careful, as people tend to make the same relationship mistakes the next time and the time after that. You really have to be sure that the next relationship is not destructive and that it's a relationship between two equally loving people, not a doormat and a heel.
2006-11-17 17:25:23 · answer #2 · answered by Maple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, done that, not a doormat anymore! You are only there for the sex, he may tell you the sexiest compliments etc, but you need to move on. You will feel better after you know that he's out of your life and you're not being used anymore. It is harder to actually do, but have the confidence, go out and have fun without trying to attract anyone, you'll not have more fun and a greater laugh than with your mates and knowing youre not looking for a boyfriend or a shag. Go out and make more friends if you have to and ignore that c**t and show him you are worth more than that!
2006-11-17 17:36:44 · answer #3 · answered by ~Kitana~ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you also behave in the same way? While he is "away", you have fun with other men (safe sex please), or at least give him the impression that you're doing it with others too. Let him feel he is your stopgap lover, fitting in between two boyfriends, only when YOU get the urge to have him. Refuse him sometimes, saying at the moment you're intimate with so-and-so. Maybe you'll find your Mr Right before he finds his "Mrs Rite". All said and done, three years is a long time, and I don't think he's ever going to be yours. But do hurt him, you'll enjoy it.
Is he your only sex partner till now?
2006-11-17 17:36:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you're the doormat, and you need to stop letting him come back to use you.
I fail to see how you can stay in love with someone who treats you that badly, but staying a doormat will do nothing for your self confidence.
Someone out there will worship you, go find them.
2006-11-17 17:44:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hell yeah! you need to get rid of him!
Men can have sex without emotion but I dont know whether women can....well..... maybe some! He must know you and know that you have stronger feelings for him, but youre allowing him to treat you like trash, jees woman, if youre unlucky enough to get caught up with a guy like that, he'll walk all over you if you dont show him that you deserve better.
Youre only a doormat for as long as you let yourself be one.
2006-11-17 17:43:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your worth more than this!!!! Talking from experience here!! Get out now, he doesnt want you! It hurts! I know! Seen it done it bought the t-shirt! Next time he says he's coming round, answer the door looking abs stunning and arrange for some good looking guy you know to come pick you up at the same time and casually say, "Oh, forgot to say, got a date, bye". You'll get over him babes, trust me, I did! Good luck, be strong!
2006-11-17 17:39:37 · answer #7 · answered by enigma64 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Have you heard of a 'f*** buddy?' It was ages ago and I watched a programme on telly, and people out there have friends they use just for sex!! It's not wrong, but I would feel used personally...
YES babe, you have got to move on, as he will continue to USE you for as long as he possibly can....If you dumped him, maybe he will realise that your the one and dump his other girlie's!!!
Don't bank on it, but would be interested what his reaction would be!! I know he would miss the casualness, but there must be more to you both than just sex....conversations...do you have anything in common etc????
Good luck, but I think you should start thinking about you!! X
2006-11-17 18:12:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
As you said you know the answer. However, I have been in your shoes before, so I can understand you very well. I believe it is a matter of self-esteem. You have to believe in yourself and understand that you deserve to be loved. After you do that you will not need him anymore. I would also recommend you to try to refuse to see him. Maybe then he will understand what he had and what he lost.
Believe in yourself and everything will become better!
2006-11-17 17:26:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get rid unless you just like being used for sex as this is all he is after, sorry but you deserve better
2006-11-17 17:23:11 · answer #10 · answered by simonbeever2000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋