I recently said, "you don't even love me," after an intense make out session and he said, "I know." I know!!! He dosen't think that you should say I love you until you KNOW you are going to marry the person. I don't agree. He's 28 and I'm 22. I don't think I can continue opening my heart to him not knowing that he loves me. What should I do?
2006-11-17 09:03:42 · 34 answers · asked by Psychgirl35 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He's not about to commit anytime soon. If you want someone committed, go get someone else.
2006-11-17 09:06:43 · answer #1 · answered by rosbif 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's up with that is that he doesn't love you. He actually flat out told you that and you're still struggling with it. The real question is, what's up with that? People say that age doesn't matter, but you are in different places in your lives and sometimes that works, but sometimes it doesn't. Sounds like it's not working for you. You two don't have the same belief systems. Sorry to have to say this, but I also don't agree that you have to know you are going to marry someone before you say I love you and I think that anyone who says that just hasn't met the right person that will make them change their thoughts. Sounds like he's having fun messing around with a hot 22 year old and it sounds like you are looking for more than fun. So, like I said, it sounds like it's not working for you and you should probably get out before it's even harder. Find something that does work for you!
2006-11-17 09:12:48 · answer #2 · answered by graybear 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow... that's interesting...
My boyfriend told me he loved me before we were even going out... when we were friends.
Some people have different views on this kinda stuff.
I know a couple who had their first kiss on their wedding day...
So maybe that's just how he feels.
Maybe you could ask him where he sees the two of you in the future. If there's any chance at all that you two MAY end up getting married. That will show if he's really committed.
You've gotta realize that people say "I love you" and that doesn't even mean he's committed to you. It's what he does to show you that he loves you. It's through his actions. Don't base it on his words... or lack thereof.
Really think about this before / if you are actually thinking about breaking up with him.
2006-11-17 09:07:16 · answer #3 · answered by ( Kelly ) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 22 years old I don't reckon you've met the person you're gonna spend the rest of your life with. You have SO much time to figure that out & to meet "that person"!
Even if you have met him, would the person you imagine spending the rest of your life with tell you he loves you back when you say it to them??
Sounds to me like this guy isn't giving you what you want. I agree that you should say I love you whether marriage is in question or NOT! It's not like a pair of shoes, "love & marriage". One CAN come without the other!!!
2006-11-17 09:14:10 · answer #4 · answered by Miz D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you rather him lie to you and tell you he loves you when he is unsure????
Sounds like he is one of the few who believe you should really BE in love before you say it to someone. That's not a bad thing. Tell him how you feel, and tell him you need some type of commitment from him if that's what you want. Otherwise stop complaining about it, and find someone who'll tell you they love you ,unsure or not.
There is a big difference in love and lust. Lust is what most people mistake for love. Kudos to the boy for wanting to be 100% sure before he tells you he loves you.
Maybe you shuld tell him those intense make out sessions are on hold till he knows for sure whether or not he loves you.
2006-11-17 09:13:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you, what is the point in wasting your heart on someone who doesn't see it the same way that you do? At the same time maybe he has his own way of doing things, and he wants to wait until he is ready to say it. Does he show you he loves you in other ways rather than saying it out loud? These are things you should consider
2006-11-17 09:06:51 · answer #6 · answered by micheypoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's an age gap there. could be he's said it too many times and it didnt work out for him. it's better that he doesn't say it if he doesn't really mean it. if he said it all the time but made it obvious he didn't mean it, he would be a total jerk.
i think you should appreciate the fact that he is honest enough to let you know those three words mean alot to him, so when he does say it you will know he really means it.
2006-11-17 09:09:25 · answer #7 · answered by jess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he has a fear of commitment, or has just been unlucky in love. do you know that he cares for you as more than a friend? i think he just wants to be 100% sure when he finally tells you. hell, it took my boyfriend 6 months to tell me he loved me face to face, he told me all the time on the phone, but it took him a little longer to say it when we were together. only you can decide how to handle your situation. if you think he's worth it, stick it out. if not, move on.
2006-11-17 09:15:44 · answer #8 · answered by amanda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually, I'd say give him another chance, but that is reduculus. He apparently wouldnt know love if it hit him in the face, so tell me, what are you doing with him?! If all you're looking for is casual dating, then he'd be the guy to go to. But i guess you're not! If he doesnt have the balls to say he loves you, how is he gonna do anything else? My advice: get over him and find another guy! One that actually LOVES you!
2006-11-17 09:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by boy_skowting 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Give him time 7 mo. isn't a long enough time if u ask me... Would u rather he say he does and he doesn't and sayes it to make it w/u? Rethink ur thougts and be glad b/c the L word is SOOO powerful! and nothing to be played with
2006-11-17 09:09:56 · answer #10 · answered by ~Niecee~ âË» âË» ♂ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may care about you, but he doesnt love you. If a man loves a woman, he'll say it without it being dragged out of him. If cornered about it, and he says that he does love you but has a problem saying it...KEEP AWAY FROM THIS EMOTIONAL BLACK HOLE!!! But, your probably like most all females, in love with a man that you love and "knows he loves me" and trying to fix him...GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-11-17 09:09:16 · answer #11 · answered by gantzermg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋