If I asked My X to recognize, that he is My X now. Because he does not acknowledge this is no longer a relationship that is beneficial for either one of us. I need him to not call me as if we are still we. I am so single, but he says I don't really mean it. I don't call him. He leaves messages, and like 18 a day or by that time. I cut the ringers off. He will show up. I do Love him,I just can not be with him. I would date others, but I dread his intteruptions. I am thinking of freezing him out, no response what so ever. I got to MOVE ON! Exprienced this before: Answer Only!
2006-11-17 08:05:15 · 13 answers · asked by jrneytime 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I don't what to, provoke violence. I see he is emotionally fragile, so I don't need to be stalked, just left alone. It's a mental issue I really see that is the problem!
2006-11-17 08:13:39 · update #1
It sounds like exprience talking. He laughs, when I state that he should start dating. I don't give him any reason to think like he does. I need him to be gone. I've been done.
2006-11-17 08:30:26 · update #2
He said maybe if I change my number. Maybe, he wont call.
2006-11-17 08:34:01 · update #3
No, I think you should have a talk and set some definite boundaries. You are not wrong at all and some of this behavior - the 18 calls a day - is worrisome. Have a talk with him and if he doesn't respect you, freeze him out. Do keep an eye on the situation, though - the showing up, the feeling that you can't date because he'd interrupt - could be warning signs that he might morph into psycho-stalker. If he doesn't obey your boundaries and freezing him out doesn't stop him coming around, don't be afraid to contact authorities. At that point in time you're NOT overreacting - he's displaying abberant behavior that could turn dangerous.
2006-11-17 16:20:52 · answer #1 · answered by houlihanoriley 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Went through the same thing about a year and a half ago. It will probably get worse if you do not put a stop to it. I was having to sneak into my house when I came home at night, with all the lights off so he wouldn't know I was home. Yes, he stalked the crap out of me. It is very uncomfortable it starts with the constant calls and leads to the stalking. I would tell him that you have told him that you are done and that he really needs to give you your space. Tell him that you would hate for it to turn ugly. Tell him that when you ready to speak to him you will call him you don't want him constantly calling him. Make it clear to you that it makes you feel very uncomfortable. If that doesn't work, as much as you don't want to hurt him you will need to put a restraining order against him.
Trust me from experiance. You need to put the kabash on it now before it developes into something scary!
Best of luck to you!
2006-11-17 16:38:40 · answer #2 · answered by pattiof 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He obviously still wants to be with you. People like this can not handle being "friends" or staying in touch because the feelings are still there. He is holding on to you. He sounds borderline obsessed with you. Have you brought other dates around him? how does he handle that? I think he will either fly off the deep end one day or eventually it will turn to hatred toward you because he cannot have you.
what is the point of him in your life? When the time comes you meet someone serious, how will this new person feel about your ex?
Unfortunately Ex's are called that for a reason. He should be out of your life if he cannot handle a NORMAL FRIENDSHIP. Good luck:)
2006-11-17 16:21:09 · answer #3 · answered by Cortney N 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would watch out. This man has the potential to turn into a stalker. If you happen to have an accidental run-in with him in person, that is the time to tell him point blank that he is not to have any contact with you. Other than that, and after having said it to him once, freeze him out. Do whatever you have to do- even if it means changing your phone number or moving to another residence. And don't hesitate to take action against him legally.
2006-11-17 16:33:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop answering his phone calls, don't acknowledge any messages. Don't talk to him don't have any contact with him, Don't answer the door. Any chance he gets in contact with you makes him think you two have a chance.
To be honest if he continues to be this way you are going to have to get a restraining order or something. Stalking is illegal and honestly you need to get it on record that he is a stalker in case something does happen.
2006-11-17 16:29:12 · answer #5 · answered by butterflykisses427 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seriously, first tell him to not call or visit and if he doesnt listen then file a restraining order on him. sounds like he calls you a little too much and visits which should NOT be allowed (and you're allowing it, demonstrates to him that you still care).
You are correct, do not see guys until this weirdo is out of the picture or he will scare them off.....
2006-11-17 17:05:50 · answer #6 · answered by brian c 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Definately freeze him out. Stop communicating with him all together. It may be the only way it to make it clear to him since telling him it's over had no effect. So ignore his calls, emails whatever and *hopefully* he will tire of calling you all the time and move on. Sounds a bit stalkerish to be honest...be careful.
2006-11-17 16:12:27 · answer #7 · answered by ♪ ♫Jin_Jur♫ ♥ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Call the police and get a restraining order on him. If he shows up call them.. if he makes phone calls record them. They will eventually jail him if continues to break the restraining order. But if you can move I would suggest you move. He sounds like a real looney.
2006-11-17 16:34:00 · answer #8 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What would be wrong about that? You want this relationship to be over with, and you are absolutely entitled to that. You know that it is time to move on. While it's kind of you to be considerate of his "emotionally frailty" or whatever, it's time to drop him sister. His emotions are no longer your concern. If he needs to be told that to help him cut the cord, than say it. You are the only person you are living for.
2006-11-17 17:10:28 · answer #9 · answered by lunachick 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you are not sending mixed signals, like: I still love you I just can't be with you. Keep it clear, to the point and ask him to stop calling. Do not try the let's just be friends thing, at least not until he has moved on himself. If he continues to harrass you, and you are truly not giving him hope to hold on to, you may have to call the police.
2006-11-17 16:17:01 · answer #10 · answered by barksabit 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋