What else we could do?

Question

My 9 year old ( my husbands child but i adopted him) is a very strong willed and stubborn child. He does only what he likes when he likes and doesn't want to be imposed things or get grounded or banned from priviledges and when that happens he ignores and defy both me and his dad. He always wants to contradict what we say and push the limits and broke the rules. He gets counseling. He tried grounding and taking away priviledges but we can't take it anymore to fight with him hour by hour when he is grounded to keep him from tv, computer, games.

Answer 1

If you're not going to follow through on your punishments, then there's not much you can do. Who are the parents here?

Look, he knows he just has to push you so far and then you'll cave and give him what he wants. So, what do you do. Don't cave in. And don't argue with him. He knows the consequences of his actions, so if he wants to argue, let him talk to a wall. He'll change once he gets that he'll have to behave appropriately to get what he wants.

Answer 2

here you go, i'm not yet a mother so i couldn't really "tell" you what to do.. but i have this great website called www.parenting.com and these links below are some questions ppl just like you ask. they can be long but i think they could help you out.

Positive Discipline
Tired of yelling? How what you say — and how you say it — can get the results you want
http://www.parenting.com/parenting/child/article/0,19840,647355,00.html?topic=12065&stage=812

Discipline Help!
Time-outs, setting limits, spanking; the experts weigh in on what works and what doesn't (this one does have 7 pages so don't forget to read on!)
http://www.parenting.com/parenting/child/article/0,19840,647543,00.html?topic=12065&stage=812

Karate Kids: The Benefits of Martial Arts
Channel your child's excessive energy into something positive (ever thought of putting his anger towards something else other than you and his dad?? this might be a good idea!)
http://www.parenting.com/parenting/child/article/0,19840,647089,00.html?topic=12065&stage=812

along with these three articles about discipline help that you ask for hear is the main page all about 9 year olds. this pages below has everything you might need if these articles don't help you... just explore! you'll find something that might help you! and i hope i helped you on your question! and good luck!

http://www.parenting.com/parenting/child/topics/results/0,19897,812_12035__,00.html?age=12035&stage=812

Answer 3

Start taking away his stuff. For every infraction take something away. I mean physically take it out of his room. I knew a parent that did this and the kid ended up with a sleeping bag on the floor and nothing else. The kid finally figured out that the situation was not going to get better and he straightened up and won his stuff back with good behavior

Answer 4

He is counting on that u will give in, stick to ur guns and see his attitude change once he realizes u aren't gonna give in. I know it is hard and makes things worse on u, but take it from someone that has been there done that, It can be done!

Answer 5

high-achieving people can be like this as children. Yes, it is difficult for you now. He has to make his own mistakes and all you can do is to offer a supportive home and love.

Answer 6

take his tv away from him for like a month and see what happens.My cousin use to be like that and they really gave him a bed and dresser in his room and thats it, no toys, no video games. see how he likes it. don't worry he will grow out of it in a couple years.

Answer 7

He probably resents you saying stuff like my son (my husband's kid, but I adopted him). Either he's your kid or he's not. Treat him like your son instead of adding "he's adopted". Don't sling that around, you're making him feel unwanted.

Answer 8

turn the game off completely. disconnect the computer, cable,dvd. maybe he has ODD

Answer 9

just throw him in the trash