PLEASE! tell me what a father can tell his 12 yr old son 2 convince his son that his and the son's mother....

Question

....relationship isnt working.The son starts crying when the father tries to sit down with him and tells him the marriage(relationship) isnt working out.The son is used to it being him,dad and mom all the time. But it's time the kid understands that his dad isnt happy.The dad is willing to stay in the marriage for the sake of his kid so his kid wont get hurt but honestly, the kid is only 12, he will get over it and realize in the long run why his dad had to do itOf course the father will still see his son often.And it doesnt help that the mother isnt wanting a divorce for fear she cant make it own her own cause she doesnt have a job.She has two other kids that he has supported but isnt his cause the real fathers were sorry.So what is a man 2 do if the mother keeps telling the kid that his father doesnt love him anymore cause he's leaving when in fact he just doesnt love her anymore? I NEED ADVICE!!PLEASE HELP!!The mother wound up pregnant by another man 8 mths ago is why all this is.

Answer 1

I going to try to answer this one... to start with the child doesn't need to know any details on whats going on... you just tell him that this is the way it is and it's not his fault and that the father will continue to see him often and in fact will probably spend more quality time with him once the father is out of the bad situation...

You don't go to him asking permission... tell him that parents do decide not to live in the same house all the time... don't use the word divorce... talk about the good times ahead ... assure him he'll get over it once he sees how much better things will be... and stick to the promises you make...

I know a lot of father that actually spend more time with there kids once they are divorced because the visitation is a 48 period every two weeks or weekly where the child has the fathers undivided attention... instead the daily presence which sometimes we all take for granted...

Hope this makes sense and good luck

Answer 2

that's unlucky that marriage and divorce impact the youngsters worse than the mum and dad. I even have been there and it relatively is no longer a incredibly photograph, particularly for the toddler. First the childs father needs to proceed telling him that he does in deed love him (his toddler), that his mom is perplexed and what she instructed him (that the childs father dont love him), isn't actual. The dad shouldn't stay in the marriage because of the fact the childs mom is allready pregnant by utilising yet another guy. by utilising staying in the marriage will in effortless terms proceed to reason issues between those 2 and the toddler will go through. What I recommend is by way of the fact the toddler is barely 12 years previous, that the father proceed to talk along with his son in connection with the marriage ending. He would desire to tell his son he will come and pass to many times, take him out for ice cream or a activities adventure, tenting, spending the nighttime or weekend on the fathers new residing house, issues that for the duration of effortless terms a father and son would do mutually. In time his son will substitute into used to this occasion and be finding forward to his dad coming to %. him up and spend some relaxing time mutually. If the toddler maintains to be with the mum after the divorce, plann it to while the childs college is out for the summer season holiday, that the toddler can stay along with his father throughout the summer season holiday. He would desire to be inspired to proceed doing nicely at school, and while holiday time comes, he won't would desire to pass to summer season college and pass over traveling his father if his grades are down. what's going to additionally help is that the father and or son would desire to have the potential to call eachother each and every nighttime to have the potential to maintain in touch with eachother. i'd additionally recommend that the two the father and mom take their son and take section in expert councelling. that's there that that the two the mum and dad and counceller can help the toddler comply with the placement handy and what's going to take place sooner or later. i'm hoping this enables. stable success. :-)

Answer 3

Well, I really can't help you. All I know is that if the mother and father are going to get a divorce, then they should help the kid get through it. They should talk to the kid. When they file for divorce usually the parents get papers on how to talk to the kid(s) about the divorce. I know that when my dad and used to be step-mom got a divorce my dad had papers on how to talk to my half brother and half sister about it. I don't know if it helped or not because I wasn't around when they talked. I think it did though because now they are ok with it. I mean they are still upset that they are divorced by they have moved on. I also know that the mother should not tell her kid that his dad doesn't love him anymore. I just brakes the kids heart and it breaks the dad's heart too. Trust me I know. When my dad and his ex-wife got a divorce, she told my brother and sister that dad didn't love them anymore. Now, they have the wrong story and don't know who to believe. Our dad or their mom. Our dad loves us all but now we don't get to talk to my brother and sister. So, telling the kid that their dad doesn't love them anymore just ruins what could be a great relationship between them.

Answer 4

The mother's a a nice piece of work (sarcasm(. Tell the father to try and get custodety of the kid

Answer 5

WOW.. Well the father need to take drive with the son and talk to him alone without the mother around and if have to be have the son move with the father..