The newly wed wife said to her husband when he returned from work: "I have
great news for you. Pretty soon we're going to be three in this house instead of
two."
The husband started glowing with happiness and kissing his wife said: "Oh
darling, I'm the happiest man in the world."
But then she said: "I'm glad that you feel that way because tomorrow morning
my mother moves in with us."
2006-11-17 06:07:29 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
that is one of your best
2006-11-17 06:31:15 · answer #1 · answered by princess-of-somany 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The newlyweds were suffering from exhaustion and after an examination, their doctor advised, "It's not unusual for young people to overdo things during the first weeks of marriage. What you both need is rest. For the next month I want you to limit your sex life to those days of the week with an "r" in them. That is, Thursday, Friday and Saturday."
Since the end of the week was approaching the newlyweds had no immediate difficulty following the doctor's orders. But on the first night of scheduled rest the young bride found herself eager as a beaver.
Hubby fell asleep, but she tossed and turned and finally nudged her spouse into partial wakefulness. Expecting daylight, and confused with the darkness, he asked, "What day is it honey?"
She looks at him with a gleam in her eyes and says, "Mondray."
******
A newly married sailor was informed by the navy that he was going to be stationed a long way from home on a remote island in the Pacific for a year. A few weeks after he got there he began to miss his new wife, so he wrote her a letter. "My love," he wrote, "We are going to be apart for a very long time. Already I'm starting to miss you and there's really not much to do here in the evenings. Besides that we're constantly surrounded by young, attractive, native girls. Do you think if I had a hobby of some kind I would not get tempted?"
So his wife sent him back a harmonica saying, "why don't you learn to play this?"
Eventually his tour of duty came to an end and he rushed back to his wife. "Darling" he said, "I can't wait to get you into bed so that we make passionate love!"
She kissed him and said, "First let's see you play that harmonica!"
2006-11-17 14:14:20 · answer #2 · answered by Rico Toasterman JPA 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The Indian chief introduced his wife to a newspaper reporter.
The reporter asked her name.
The chief replied, "Three Horse."
"That's a picturesque name," said the reporter. "Does it have a deep symbolism?"
"Yes," the chief replied. "Nag, nag, nag!"
2006-11-17 14:40:13 · answer #3 · answered by kinderedman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooooooooh. Open mouth-- insert foot. lol
2006-11-17 14:08:39 · answer #4 · answered by Joe Somebody 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Isn't married life wonderful?
2006-11-17 14:10:10 · answer #5 · answered by whenwhalesfly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
BORING DUDE...Get outta the Elementary Joke Book....
2006-11-17 14:09:55 · answer #6 · answered by ~babes~ 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
yeah, and you aren't scared of the devil since you married his sister
2006-11-17 14:57:15 · answer #7 · answered by t24 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're sure a corny Einstein aint ya?
2006-11-17 14:11:08 · answer #8 · answered by Haggy~Naggy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Mother in law bashing is not a joke!!!! I like mine!!!
2006-11-17 14:08:56 · answer #9 · answered by Sammyleggs222 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
lmaooo i like that one!!!
thumbs up from me =]
2006-11-17 16:14:28 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Pyar Ki Pari♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋