How would you respond to that?
2006-11-17 06:00:19 · 19 answers · asked by Inno 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Above all, do not respond with pity. Pity is pointless, degrading, and embarassing. Pity often masquerades as concern, though, so be careful in not just *what* you say, but *how* you say it.
Also, simply replying with "So?" diminishes the person's possible "struggle" with working up the courage to tell you. If you wish to show that it doesn't matter, try responding with, "Okay." with the same inflection you might have if he just told you he changed his hair color.
Since he told you, he obviously wants you to know. Accept that knowledge but don't diminish it. You might follow up the initial "Okay" or other non-pitying response with, "Do you want to talk about it?"
Also, if you don't know much about HIV and AIDS, admit that fact. Say, "I don't know much about it." And then, get yourself some good education on the subject. Visit various web sites such as www.poz.com, www.cdc.gov/hiv, etc. Learn about the condition.
And then, let the knowledge that your friend wanted you to know about a potentially fatal illness he has grow your friendship.
But, don't pity him.
2006-11-17 20:53:47 · answer #1 · answered by BubbaB 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell them they are very brave to tell you such things (as well as brave to deal with it) and that you'd be proud to have them as a friend.
Don't be afraid to ask questions on how they feel about it.
I know quite a few people with HIV who have lived 20 years with it with absolutely no symptoms, how cool is that!!! With the drugs these days the only way it affects them (the ones I know) is mentally knowing they have it and sexually knowing they have to be extra careful.
2006-11-17 14:34:56 · answer #2 · answered by Heather S 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
That kind of depends on how the issue came up.
My response would be, "So?"
Why is he trying to make a big deal out of it? Were you interested in him? Is he looking for sympathy? Was there some kind of deep revelation in this?
I would say, "So?" for two reasons. One because I'd want them to know that doesn't make them a freak to me. Two because I'd be curious to see if they went a tirade as to WHY or if they just left it at that.
Don't get me wrong, I care. I'm just not shocked.
2006-11-17 14:49:45 · answer #3 · answered by Big C 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"Oh my G-d! I'm so sorry!" And then I would hug them and ask them what they needed.
I would be sad for my friend that was diagnosed. Not necessarily because of the diagnosis, but because of the stigma that still exists in this day and age. I would encourage my friend to continue to visit doctors until he/she finds the right combination of drugs to keep his/her viral load low.
And I would continue to be his/her friend. It sucks, but it's no reason to end a friendship.
2006-11-17 14:24:42 · answer #4 · answered by sylvia 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Same way you would respond if they told you they had cancer or some other disease. Express your sympathy, ask questions if they seem amenable, offer hope about new drugs if they seem amenable, but most importantly DON'T ACT ANY DIFFERENT!!! They are still the same person.
2006-11-17 15:04:32 · answer #5 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Treat him like any other normal person. That will make the person happy. You need not say you are sorry. Must be sick of hearing that.
2006-11-18 23:52:31 · answer #6 · answered by rams 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
depends on the situation...if the person JUST found out i guess i'd treat them like any person who just found out devastating news..."sorry to hear that, is there anything i can do to help you while you go thru this..."
if it's not anything new, then maybe i'd ask how they were feeling, etc...
depends on how close you are to the person too...a persons health is kind of a personal topic...
2006-11-17 14:05:11 · answer #7 · answered by SNAP! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's happened to me. I just expressed my sympathy and concern. And told the family that they would be in my prayers. That's about all you can do. Whatever you do, do it with sincerity.
2006-11-17 14:51:35 · answer #8 · answered by whadda-dingo-gal 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
how are you feeling? have they found some meds that are working for you? Magic Johnson was diagnosed 10 yrs ago an he is doing really well...AIDS isn't killing ppl like it use to...treatments are getting better. i would ask if there was anything they needed and let them know i was there for them.
2006-11-17 14:05:53 · answer #9 · answered by never2pink 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Say you're sorry to hear that. He obviously wants to talk about it so ask how long he's had it to start a conversation. Don't be judgemental. He might have been born with it.
2006-11-17 14:03:56 · answer #10 · answered by farahwonderland2005 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋