My four year old son says he doens't like going to school because he has no friends. Should I do anything?

Answer 1

Does he think that all the time? (that he has no friends) I work in a pre school and the children are always telling eachother "you are not my friend" over little things and then a few minutes later they are friends again. If it is all the time you should try talking to the teacher and the teacher can try doing games and things that can get your son more involved so they children can get close to him.

Answer 2

To be honest many young kids have this problem relating to other children especially at that kind of age where things don't necessarily make sense.

I think, although you can encorage him to try and make friends, the process of learning to accept other people and befriending them is something they learn through time - you can ask the teacher to keep an eye out but theres nothing they can actually do to make other kids play with him, and also nothing you can do to make other children play with him since they tend to be selective.

Best thing is to let him settle in - he's only four, so I bet in a year he will have at least one person he has a bond with. Also, on his birthday, throw a little party and invite a few kids, as an opportunity to build up his confidence.

School is for learning, but also making friends and learning the art of compromise - some people you won't like, some people you will. Thats an important lesson too, and you don't want your child to be too isolated throughout his education; if he is unhappy and lonley through Primary, he may not want to carry on studying later on. All he needs is confidence, and a chance to settle in.

Answer 3

He may just feel a bit excluded from the groups. I was really shy when I was younger, but my mom put me in a dance class to build my confidence and make friends. Talk to the teacher or to other parents of kids in the class. Find out what the problem is. Then you can see if the other parents are willing to set up a play date so he can interact one on one or with a smaller group and make a friend. Also try team sports such as t-ball or music lessons. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I think you should explain to your son that he'll make friends one day he just needs to give it time or maybe if he just doesnt have friends because he's quiet or doesnt really communicate with the other kids, that he might just need to try and talk to some other kids and be friendly and they'll begin to like him. He has plenty of years to make friends so just tell him that it'll be OK. Tell him that school is more important than friends because he needs an education regardless if he has a friend or not. Because when he gets older and gets a great job, people will be begging to be his friend! I can understand how he feels because I used to feel that way and my mom explained this to me.

Answer 5

Perhaps you could arrange a play date for him. Found out if the teacher can give you a list of all his classmates and start asking around to the parents to see if anyone would be interested.

Perhaps you can get you little guy involved in some activities outside of school ie the boy scouts or little league.

Good luck

Answer 6

Im sorry . I am dealing with this with my son who just started preschool .. I noticed on a field trip that he doesnt have any . My son started preschool 2 month later then the others, plus he is shy. What I am going to do is talk to the teacher and see what she says and ask her to try to get him involved with other boys .
Thats all I can think of since he is young and doesnt understand how to make the first move .

Answer 7

At this young age yes, you probably should. This is the age when children learn how to build a social network of friends and playmates.

Try throwing a party and inviting some of the children from his class. As him who is nice to him, and invite that child over for a play date. Alternatively, if he is bullied or picked on, invite each of those children over separately and take them out for a fun time, or provide somethng exciting at home, where your son is the star. Taking a bully out of his environment, and making the weaker child the focus of attention and the one who dishes out all the fun things really helps to give him the upper hand.

What you want to do it step in and carefully build up your childs confidence with other children. Invite kids over and do fun things with your son, making him the star of the day, and allow the other children to take part in the festivities. Much like a birthday party.

It will not only give them all something in common to talk about later, but it will help your child to interact with them in a situation where he as the upper hand, giving him confidence for next time.

My mom had to do this with me in k and 1st, since i had little social interaction before hand and just didnt know how to interact with other kids. It works wonders.

Answer 8

Read some 'making friends' books. Just go to the bookstore and ask someone in the childrens section to help you find some.

Also go to the adult section and look in the parenting section for the same type of reference.

You can also do some 'role playing' . You can be little Tommy playing with a ball with little Jane. You can teach him how to ask to join the group and stuff. Just wing it and go with your instincts.

Answer 9

School is hard for them because they have scheduled learning time (so he needs to be quiet & pay attention or write/color or whatever) & then "play" time is usually a more formal "do something" time. So it's hard to have relaxed, casual time to make friends. Sports are a great way to make friends so if you can sign him up for a sport and he gets confident making friends, that confidence is likely to carry over to the school setting and help him make friends there, too. Good Luck!

Answer 10

Is he just kind of shy and reserved? You can enroll him in some team sports like soccer or other activities. That may help him make friends at school.

Also, talk to his teacher to find out if there's some other problem. Is he being bullied by other children?

Hope that helps and good luck.

Mari