without offending them. He and his wife are both doctors from Egypt, when they moved here his wife decided to stay home with their youngest daughter and wanted a playmate for her, they knew we were in need of reliable daycare and offered to help us out for 100 dollars a week. I went to visit with her last night and see their home, she was extremely nice, made us brownies and the most wonderful mango juice you could even imagine. But now.....
my fiances work is allowing him to switch up his schedule so that he can be home when I am at work and at work when i am home, which eliminates the need for daycare, and saves us 400 dollars a month. The problem is that i do not want to hurt this womens feelings or in anyway make her feel that it was her home or her tradition of wearing a veil that made us change our mind. She seemed very concerned that the veil would be a problem for us, do any of you have any suggestions on how to tell them in a way that doesn;t make them think badly of us?
2006-11-17 05:48:30 · 21 answers · asked by ? 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Be honest with her and tell her how much you appreciate the offer but that your work schedules have changed. Maybe you could work out a part time arrangement, we all need days to go run errands or go to the doctor or whatever. Ask if she would be willing to allow you to call when you need a day, like drop in service. That way she knows that you trust her and wouldn't mind her watching your child. Hope it works out for you.
2006-11-17 06:46:13 · answer #1 · answered by disneychick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best solution is to simply state the truth. Call her on the phone or ask to visit their home again so you can talk to them about daycare. Explain that this opportunity with your fiance's employment just arose that is permitting you to always have a parent at home with the baby. Assure her that if that hadn't been the case that you would have welcomed the idea of her caring for your baby. Thank her for the generous offer to help you out. Also express gratitude for her hospitality when you visited. Perhaps she would be willing to help out on occasion when that inevitable thing occurs when you need someone else to care for your baby. Or, maybe she would be willing to do one day a week for you so that you and your soon-to-be husband can have some precious couple time. Acknowledge that you know she was concerned about how the veil may pose a problem and that was in no way a determining factor with the decision not to have the baby in daycare. You can choose to be honest, grateful, and appreciative, but you can not choose how other people are going to think.
2006-11-17 06:48:07 · answer #2 · answered by sevenofus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly if you were to explain that your circumstances had changed I don't think she would mind. You could thank them for the offer and say how much you really appreciated it but fortunately (this is a good thing) your husband's shift changed allowing him to keep the baby. Emphasize that by your husband keeping the baby it saves your family $400 a month.
It might also be a good gesture if you asked the wife if she would be available for back-up care, in the event of an emergency or if your husband's schedule got switched back.
2006-11-17 06:14:26 · answer #3 · answered by strawberriesilove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just be very honest with her & tell her that your fiancee's work schedule is changing & he will be able to watch the baby while you are at work & vice versa. Also explain that this will save you approx $400 a month. I would tell her that IF I needed daycare I would be thrilled to have someone like her to watch my child but as of right now I don't need it.
2006-11-17 07:02:53 · answer #4 · answered by dmommab@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just tell them that you appreciate the offer but you really don't need the help right now. If her concern is her daughter not having a playmate you could offer to get the kids together. I would make sure that you keep the door open in case you do need her help later.
2006-11-17 06:33:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go over to her home and explain. Don't just do it through your co-worker. Talk to the woman up front and honestly.
My husband's co-worker needed someone to help with day care. I offered to help and she beat herself up when she realized she didn't need my help any more. I felt horrible that she would worry so much about it and I was perfectly okay with not watching her child. I was a little disappointed as I was looking forward to it but her coming over to talk in person made me feel better. We now have plans (when her baby gets here) to start meeting up on weekends and having fun all together.
Talk to her face to face. Let her ask you questions but also be sensitive. If you want to offer to hang out once in a while on the weekends with both your kids. Best of Luck!
2006-11-17 06:02:38 · answer #6 · answered by .vato. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the truth sounded good enough to me! Don't make it so complicated... just tell them how the situation has resolved itself, and you are grateful for the offer. If you are honest, they will appreciate that more than any other reason you could give. Call her up (or go over) and say: "Hey, guess what? My husband's work heard about our problem and decided that he could switch his hours! Isn't that great!? Now (child's name) can stay home with both of us!"
2006-11-17 11:57:54 · answer #7 · answered by dolphin mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like honesty is fine. Just say "my fiances work is allowing him to switch up his schedule so that he can be home when I am at work and at work when i am home, which eliminates the need for daycare". You could still ask her to babysit as needed and even invite her over to visit with you and the kids.
2006-11-17 05:52:05 · answer #8 · answered by Sabine É 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What i'd definitly do is pass out on a double date with the co-worker and his lady chum pondering the reality which you dont have self belief her. That way one difficulty is out of the variety you would comprehend for specific if he's relationship somebody or no longer and you will have the potential to observe how severe they're. no longer asserting that that rather ability something pondering how grimmy human beings would be at the instant in spite of the undeniable fact that it would supply you a stable experience of what variety out friendship the co-worker and your spouse has. only ascertain you have your info at cutting-edge becasue you do have 2 little ones mutually and you does not prefer to jeapordize that for the duration of any respect..
2016-10-15 16:23:38 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Explain your situation to them. Let them know about the change in work schedule. Maybe you could use her occasionally for a sitter when schedules overlap and noone can be there for the baby. Or set up a play date a few imes a month. It is always nice to have a great sitter that you can trust!
2006-11-17 09:02:19 · answer #10 · answered by mommyx3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋