My parents are getting a divorce, how can I stop it from happening? I don't know if its my brother's and my fault that they are getting a divorce, how can I find out its not our fault without coming out into the open with my questions. I am heart broken, how can I not show my true feelings?
2006-11-17 05:35:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sweetie, It ISN'T your fault OR your brothers fault! I can't stress that enough. I don't know how old you are but there are a million reasons why people get divorced. For example... Money is a big issue for some couples, little things over the years that build and build and build can explode things as small as not putting something away for the millionth time. Some people simply just fall out of love or there might bo infidelity going on (but i doubt that). My parents got divorced when I was 9 and it was because of money issues and my dad was mentally abusing me and my Mom. Sometimes a divorce is better for everyone involved.
I know how hard this is for you and i know this is not what you want to hear but there probably isn't anything you or your brother can do to stop it. This is between your mom and dad. Like I said they are not getting a divorce because of you guys!!! They both love you two very much. Always have and always will. Remember that. Also just because they choose not to be married to each other anymore doesn't mean thy don't love each other. A part of them always will. There is d difference between loving someone and being IN love with someone.
If I could I would give you the biggest hug because you probably need it. If you need to talk to someone you can always e-mail me.
Good luck sweetie! It will be hard for a while but things will get better I promise!
2006-11-17 05:58:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't your fault, or your brothers so wipe that off your mind right now. They are the adults who have decided to not keep being married. You have no control over it and you can't stop it, It isn't like in the movies where you can pull some great prank and have them stay togehter.
You might be surprised at how much happier your life is with them divorced, after all, if they had a good relationship they wouldn't be getting divorced and it can't be all that happy at your home.
I think you have every right to tell them exactly how you feel...they deserve to hear it, after all, it affects you greatly. When parents get divorced, they get very self absorbed and sometimes forget about the needs of the children, it is wrong to do that, but they, like you, are only human beings and we are all programmed to really mess up sometimes.
Hang in there, I am divorced from my childrens father and honestly, they were happier after we were no longer married, they hated the idea at first but they grew to understand that we didn't belong together...soo
NOT YOUR FAULT....take care sweety, it gets better.
2006-11-17 06:00:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear, I don't know how old you are, or what is really going on in this situation..But I can tell you as a divorced parent, I appreciated it a great deal when my kids were honest to me about how they felt when their dad and me starting talking divorce. Remember divorce is NOT the kids fault.. There are so many reasons parents get divorces its just very confusing for you as the child.. Parents start growing apart due to work, finances, outside influences and so much more.. Sit down with the one parent you feel closest to and tell them your fears and talk to them openly. Know they are scared also, this is not an easy task for them either and they maybe so caught up in what they are feeling they have forgotten you and your brother an your fears.. Talk to your parents dear, let them know your scared and you wished they'd stay to gether so they can explain... Good Luck...
2006-11-17 06:44:32 · answer #3 · answered by tmjf461 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't your fault. People don't get divorced because of their children.
You need to sit them both down and just ask them why? They owe you an explanation! Your life will be affected by their decision, and they should be willing to explain things to you.
I'm sure there are things going on that you may not be able to understand right now. That is probably why they haven't talked to you about it. They may be trying to protect you from the truth, but you need to explain to them how much you are hurting.
Good luck!
2006-11-17 05:42:08 · answer #4 · answered by Kailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my situation, I have no intention of stopping. First of all, the problem is between their daughter and me. Second, they will always be the grandparents to my two children that I have custody of. Third, for the past 14 years, they have treated me like a son, entrusting me with some serious family stuff more than their only son. My relationship with them has always been good. Just because their daughter wants to end our marriage is by no means a reflection on how I feel towards them. In my mind, I can separate the relationships. Moreover, there is no rules or laws, written or implied that you should change.
2016-03-19 10:12:52 · answer #5 · answered by Marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First and foremost it isn't your brothers or your fault. Divorce isn't about the children it is about the relationship between the husband and wife. Yes you will be heart broken but look at it this way do you want your parents to stay together and make the whole family miserable or your parents apart and make everyone happy. You can support them on what ever decision they make - you don't have to be happy about it but you can support them.
2006-11-17 05:40:13 · answer #6 · answered by Petra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents got a divorce too. I thought it was my fault and I tried to get them to stop from getting a divorce. They didnt listen to me. My advice is to sit down with them and talk to them about it and see if they listen to what they are doing is hurting you, too. If they don't listen to you then talk to them each separetly and try to help them work out the problems they are having.
2006-11-17 06:25:13 · answer #7 · answered by Bre 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is NOT you or or yours brother's fault. Your parents are adults and they are responsible for the family. Express your deep hurt to your parents and how much you want your family to stay together. Ask them to get help, if only for you and your brother's sake. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'm praying for you and your family.
2006-11-17 05:41:51 · answer #8 · answered by RockwallCat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all it isnt yours or your brothers fault. Sometimes parents just dont get along anymore and it is better if they are just not together. But it doesnt mean that they dont love you. they will always love you, both of them, and it is not your fault for anything that happens between them. Just sometimes it is better to be apart then together.
2006-11-17 06:04:01 · answer #9 · answered by homie_j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My parents are divorced too, dude. It sucks. But now maybe you will get a hot step sister.
2006-11-17 05:40:33 · answer #10 · answered by outlaw_tattoo_biker 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋