Does becoming a Christian always change your heart and mind?

Question

I've had some experiences with Christians that make me seriously doubt this...but this seems to be the rallying point for Christians. It makes your life better, etc etc...

It changes the way you think and feel.

If that's true, why did my ex-fiance, who refused to marry me until I converted, cheat on me with at least eight people, many of whom were my friends and one of whom was 15? He was very big on being a Christian and having his Bible study and time with God, and didn't want to marry me until I did the same. I opted out (partially because of that, my mind was made up the night he sent me to the hospital) and found out about the cheating about a month after. This was a few years back...but it always makes me think. If it's supposed to change your heart and mind, what do you do about people like that? It obviously doesn't do it for everyone--why would it do it for me?

Trust me, I couldn't make this stuff up...I still have physical scars to remember him by. Ugh.

And I'm now with a very good man who could care less about my religion and just enjoys the fact that I like it as a topic of conversation.

Answer 1

I can't speak for someone I don't know.....(you may just be making this up to make Christians look bad), but speaking for myself, you have the Spirit of God in your life, as a believer, that unbelievers can't comprehend. (It's also another reason why someone can't be saved; ie a Christian one day and then Not, the next day. When you truly are saved, God's Spirit now completes you, and He never leaves you). I don't know if your ex was saved or not, but the Bible says God knows who are His children, and when we get out of line, He CORRECTS (CHASTENS) us!

EDIT:
Glad to hear you found a good man! ;-)

Answer 2

Sadly, what you describe is far too common. I would venture a guess that maybe he never really laid down his own will and surrendered to Christ. Maybe he was raised in a Christian family and just always knew the idea but never really joined in.

I am saying this because I was like that. I didn't get the actual transformation until I was 25 and I hadn't even realized that I needed it. True change comes from a life laid down. Jesus said "Deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow me." The hardest thing is to deny yourself. If you can do that, there is change. My own father reads his bible all the time and always goes to church, but I've never seen any Christian fruit in his life. He is mean, critical, adulterous... I know what you mean. It's hard to understand how they can read the words of truth and not see the mirror in the words.

Answer 3

Going to church and claiming to be a Christian doesn't make you a Christian anymore than going to McDonalds makes you a hamburger. He could not have been a Christian. Becoming a Christian does change you, some people change slow, some fast, but they do change. Being a Christian actually doesn't have a lot to do with any certain church. It's about a personal relationship with Jesus. That is what being a Christian is all about. Some people use the name but they don't know Jesus at all.

Answer 4

No. What needs to happen is "conversion" - St. Paul calls it "Metanoia" (change, transformed) - and we can, unfortunately, fight it. And we often do.

We have to allow the Holy Spirit to work in is - to change us. Raising your hand at church and saying "I'm a Christian now" makes you holy about as much as sleeping in your garage every night make you an automobile.

The changes happen in two ways - the Holy Spirit sanctifies....we respond by listening and doing. Renewing (there's that word metanoia again) your mind.


Here's the formula:

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." Romans 12:2

Answer 5

Of coarse a Christian can lose his salvation. What if that Christian commits murder or adultery? You are not saved just because you accepted Jesus as your savior. Jesus did not save us on the cross, but redeemed us so when can have a chance to be saved. We have to to earn the grace of God. We will only know if we are saved after death. You cannot be saved if you continue commiting serious sin. The Bible does not teach "once saved always saved." : Romans 6:15-16 says that sin leads to death Matthew 5:27-30 Jesus does not discharge us from the moral law! There is consequence for sinning! Matthew 10:22 "You will be hated by all because of my name, but whoever endures to the end will be saved." Hebrews 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us rid ourselves of every burden and sin that clings to us and persevere in running the race that lies before us." It is convinient to believe in "once saved always saved", because then you do not need love and you don't have to do anything.

Answer 6

Yes, it does. With some it is a slow turning. With others it is immediate. I don't know the hearts of your friends, but God does.

Some say they are Christian, but don't really know Jesus. They may think that because their parents are Christian, that they are too. Or they may think that they like Jesus' teaching, but if they have not given their hearts over to God, they do not yet know Him. Others say they are Christian and are just plain lying. Some Christians are just simply not living their faith. Others are.

Please note that I am not trying to judge them, I don't know them and judging them is not my place, but I wanted to let you know that there are differences between someone who has truly accepted Jesus' free gift of salvation and others who purport to be Christian, but are not.

All of us fail, from time to time, and for that we beg your forgiveness and the forgiveness of God.

In answer to would it do it for you? Yes, if you honestly come to God and accept that Jesus died on the Cross to pay for your sins and was raised from the dead in victory over death, you will become a new person - transformed. I have been a Christian for 36 years now, and I still do things that aren't right. So don't expect perfection, just a learning process.

Answer 7

Wow I am so sorry to hear about that. You ex definately makes christianity look bad. I am a born again christian and I struggled in the past with sin- the things is, chrsitians are not perfect and we do still sin- but the Holy Spirit convicts us when we do. I feel guilty when I do sin- and I repent of it. I ask the Lord to continually change me and continually renew a "right spirit" within me. We who believe in Jesus Christ need to always pray for his continued strength in our lives- It sounds to me your ex was not serious about God- even though he came across that way- seems to me he just wanted to "look spiritual" when in reality he was in bondage of sin.

If there are people out there who are willingly sinning, yet going to church and bible study and proclaiming to be christians- and have no conviction over their sin- I believe they were never saved to begin with.

I truly hope that does not change your view on Christianity- there are many christians out there who ARE walking with the Lord and seeking Him in all things. Who truly love the Lord with all their ,heart, soul, mind and strength.

Answer 8

Depends on whether you actually become a Christian. You must remember, Chirst never turns his back on you, you turn your back on him. Sounds like the person that wants you to convert has turned his back on Christ. Christianity is a word. Being Christian and believing in Christ is another. A person's life will reflect his/her being. God bless and try not to turn your back once you believe! If you do, remember he died for your sins and turn around.

Answer 9

It did for me, my whole life changed. I wont go into it here, but you can email me if you want.

And a point to make here. Just because someone call themselves a Christian, even acts like one, it doesnt mean they are, not truly in their heart. Anyone can say it, but not all can "walk the walk". Maybe he wasnt really has into God as he led you to believe.

Answer 10

there are two types of Christians, those who are sincere and do their utmost to obey the Gospel of the Lord, and there are those who are Christian in name only and these are the lukewarm that Jesus scolded severely.
they do more harm to Christianity than anyone else and give unbelievers the good reason to attack the Christian ethic.
all that glistens is not gold.