I like this guy but havent got the nerves to ask him out im quite sensitive so would be quite upset if he said no. Do gals always have to do the asking or can i hope maybe it will work itself out and hell make a move. Weve got a couple of work dos soon so maybe then with it being chilled and all. I know a few people who have liked each other but got it together when out on a do.
2006-11-17 05:27:18 · 14 answers · asked by joanne100uk 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You cannot assume the Guy will always do the asking out, although we all know its the culturally expected thing for the bloke to do the asking. However, we are nolonger living in the dark ages & I think these days its now totally acceptible for woman to also do the asking out (you know its a part of the greater equality between male & female).
**You could think of it this way, think how utterly chuffed to bits he's going to feel if you make the first move and ask him. Also who makes the first move in a new realtionship definately does make a diference. As a bloke I'd have just loved to have been asked out but sadly nobody ever did.
**Your letting your fear of rejection get in the way of asking him, I suspect.
**Asking somone out is always difficult because you have to put yourself in a vulnerable emotional position & yes! you could be hurt or disappointed but lifes to short isnt it? better to have asked than regretted it the rest of your entire life? If you dont ask him out imagine how your going to feel, especially if you like him or are very attracted to him (fancy him). Isnt it better to try and know the outcome either way? its a clieche but you have to feel your fear but ask him anyway IMO.
**You have to take a risk here, well I've said my bit. I wish you so much luck with that. Go and WOW!! him, go ask him out, I think his mouth will drop open and then smile :-) and say Yes! I think most blokes would love this secretly.
IR
2006-11-17 05:48:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so sensitive about something like this or you are never going to attract men. Men do not like women who they have to worry about hurting their feelings all the time. I am sure there has been a guy who asked you out and you said no and I pretty sure he recovered without having a breakdown. Also, do you get a vibe at all that he wants to go out with you? If so then ask him!!! However, don't let this sort of thing bother you so much since people are attracted to one another for different reasons. If he for some reason does not want to go out with you don't take it personally and move on to the next guy. Believe me, there are so many out there that will want to date you and if you are all hung up on him you will miss some great opportunities. Also, work on that self-esteem because I am sure you have some great qualities other men will love!!!
2006-11-17 05:39:29 · answer #2 · answered by kimmie42 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Fear of rejection and be an absolute paralyzer. But, let me ask you this, if he says "no", is it really that bad other than having your ego bruised? Look at it another way, have you ever turned down a date from a guy? Why? Was it because you disliked him or he just wasn't your type? If he says "no", don't take it personally, you may not be what he's looking for, and many times a "no" is a blessing in disguise.
Another way to view it is this: If you ask him out, 1 of 2 things will happen. If he says "no" then you know he's not interested and you may hurt a bit, but time heals all wounds and you will move on. If he says "yes" then 1 of 2 things will happen. The first is it may not work out, and if so, you know that you two aren't compatible and you move on in life. But, if it does work out, then you get the man of your dreams. BUT, if you never ask, for the rest of your life, you'll always wonder "what if". Could you imagine the hurt you'd go through if you found out years down the road that the two of you could have been together if you had made the first move?
Also, he may not realize that you like him. Many guys are oblivious to that short of thing. Or maybe he does like you, but figures you wouldn't give him the time of day and thus has resigned himself to just accepting things the way they are.
Yes, asking someone out and possibly being rejecting is very scary. But, so is driving a car on the highway at 75 mph cause you can get killed really quick, but people do that everyday without thinking. Yet, asking someone out and being rejected won't kill you, it's not the end of the world. You may think it is, but only for a little while.
I think back on the times I had my "heart broken" and now that I'm older and I look back, I think to myself, "yeah, she was nice, but I'm glad she said no cause she wasn't the one for me".
Also, if you do decide to get your nerve up and ask him out, something that would help is "HOW YOU ASK". Tell me something, which date would you accept:
1) A guys asks you "You wouldn't want to go out with me, would you?"
OR
2) A guys says "You know, you are a really neat person and I enjoy being around you. Would you do me the honor of having dinner with me? I would love to get to know you better."
Confidence is key. Also, when asking a guy, you really need to be careful. Standing off in the corner hoping he asks isn't going to work, especially if he has no clue how you feel. Conversely, asking in a manner that is too pushy or overbearing will drive him away. You need to find a way to ask him in such a manner that you communiate your interest in him while not being "in your face - let's go out on a date".
Get a couple of guy friends together, tell them of your plight and practice with them a good way to ask the guy you're interested in out on a date.
Remember, fear is an acronym. It stands for:
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal
If you ask and he says no, really, what have you lost? You aren't dating him now, so nothing will have changed. But, if you do ask and he says yes, then get ready to try to make your dreams come true.
If you really like this guy, and he's worth it, isn't it worth the risk to go after that which you want? Go for it. Either way, you'll be just fine.
2006-11-17 05:54:00 · answer #3 · answered by 4XTrader 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes they do, i think it is all wrong, if a girl likes a hot guy they should just ask them out well we are mean't to equal this that right, not just flirt and wait to be ask out, it might not happen
2006-11-17 05:46:19 · answer #4 · answered by country_traveller 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no the girl doesn't always have to do the asking out, i used to think the guy had to do all the asking out. but do you even know for sure if he likes you? cause then how can you expect him to ask you out? if he doesn't like you he wont ask you out, but just because he doesn't like you doesn't mean that he wouldn't consider dating you. so i think you gotta take a risk and ask him.
2006-11-17 05:30:40 · answer #5 · answered by Striker MG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah
2016-05-21 23:02:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
actually, its the guys who ussually do the asking out. If he is not man enough to ask you out then he either does not like you like that or has no balls.
Either way you need to move on
2006-11-17 05:29:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems that its your feelings that are the real problem,if he really wanted to go out with you,i think he would have made that very clear by now
2006-11-17 06:18:20 · answer #8 · answered by barnowl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's a do? I always wait for the guy to do the asking.
2006-11-17 05:29:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go one ask him out.Men are too scared of being turned down its the macho thing.
2006-11-17 05:29:52 · answer #10 · answered by Ollie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋