im a student nurse and today I lost a patient?

Question

I work in a mental health ward and my experience today was horrible, the patient was screaming all morning and I was with him the whole time, I feel so low. I keep feeling like I should have comforted him more then I did. He died right infront of me, has anyone had a simular experience?

he was over 75 and I think he died of a stroke or heart attack, no mental illness isnt fatal in that kinda way, it was very unusual and scary

Answer 1

I don't know if anyone else was there with you when he died, but I know, at least, that you were with him when he died, so I know that he did not die alone. You are too new in your practice to maybe understand how important that can be. It takes guts, sometimes, to stay.

Many times, the world seems full of situations and people that try to determine what should happen, esp. in nursing. In one respect this is good, because it helps define the standards for our practice. In another respect it can lead to feelings of never having done something good enough, well enough, time enough, or given enough.

I wish I could say that I remember all of my patients that have died, but I don't. I worked too many years in hospice, and it starts to blend together. I don't know why this man died. It would be nice if people were like they are in the tests and only come with one thing wrong with them, but thats so unrealistic it is absurd. Our patients sometimes come with layers of comorbid conditions that we might find if we ever looked. A lot of times, we don't look.

I am sorry for your pain. Being a nurse, many times, means going home in tears. The pain can be terrible. BUT, the day that someone does not give a damn is the day they get the hell away from my patients.

Not everyone was made to do this just like not everyone was made to spend their days having their plastic box talk to someone elses plastic box, only to go home and start talking with and watching more plastic boxes.

You could have gone and got coffee, you could have gone and stuck your nose in a chart, you could have left to wander aimlessly saying you were looking for your instructor. No one would have missed you, you're a student. But you didn't leave your patient. If he was a mental patient, he may not have been able to be verbally comforted and physical comfort...well, is limited even when they are not in a mental health ward. It may be that you would never have been more then a stranger in a strange place at a painful time. It doesn't matter how many times they tell us we are angels, we are just people with very real limitations. Try not to take home the ghost.

Answer 2

I truly feel for you. I worked in nursing homes for nine years. It is really hard to watch someone die. Especially when there is nothing you can do to stop it. Working in the health care field, you will see a lot of death. Sometimes, you will be able to comfort the patient and more times than not there is nothing you can do. It can really take a toll on you mentally, but you have to know that they have moved on to a better place and you can only do what you can do.

It really gives you a sense of your own mortality and a new appreciation for life.

What is the hardest is to be with a patient who doesn't have any family or any one close that can be with at the end. I have held many hands of the dying and have been the only one with them when they pass. Just take comfort in knowing that you were there and they didn't die alone.

Answer 3

That stinks. It's the worst feeling. In my first clinical rotation we lost FOUR patients in one semester and we were a gen med floor. It is very surreal. I also work at a children's research hospital and lately a few of our patients have passed on - you never really get over it. It is a very intimate time in people's lives. It's weird, after being around it alot, i want to go into hospice and try and make that transistion for folks as easy as possible.

There usually isn't a whole lot you can do, when it's time, it's time, you know? It will get easier though, the more you are around it. I hope that doesn't come off as harsh, i don't mean it that way, just the more you experience it, it does get a little easier. In some cases it's nice to see them peaceful and at rest and not fighting and in pain anymore.

Just know you did the best you could for him and that will comfort you and it'll get easier.

Answer 4

When working as an aid in a nursing home, I had my first experience working with people who have died in front of my. I know your feelings. This tells me that you are a GOOD person, and will be a good nurse because you have a heart. I know this is a terrible thing to witness, yet it will bring you closer to that professional level you must attain. There will be a lot of deaths in this profession. You're just adjusting now. It will come to be easier on you with persistance and further experience. And persis, you must. I sincerely hope the very best for you!

Answer 5

you may already recognize the answer to this one. How severe are you approximately one yet another? How nicely do you recognize him? might you be persevering with to preserve him after he left the scientific institution? only run all those products by your coronary heart on an off 2nd and notice what you arise with. What does your coronary heart inform you? ok. Now evaluate your occupation in nursing. See if there's a stability element. If seeing him or being with him after he has left the scientific institution will reason you problem as a expert nurse, evaluate this heavily. you're clever sufficient to be a nurse. you're clever sufficient to nicely known your man or woman coronary heart nicely sufficient to make the main appropriate decision.

Answer 6

Just remember as a NURSE you may see many people die all in the course of your work. You can NEVER blame yourself. If it is there time to DIE you can not stop it, no one can. God decides when we life and when we die. God expects us to work our hardest to save a persons life as that is how he helps us grow. We are tested every day. But just because a person dies does not mean we did not try or we did something wrong. Life is fragile and only God and the person decides when it is time to go.

Our souls are here on Earth to learn and grow. Yours grew from this experience. His grew when he decided to exit life. It always hurts because you are a compassionate person. But please dont let it stay on your mind or depress you, that is more harmful than good. You have this position to help others. You can not help others if you allow setbacks to hold you back. Get up, brush yourself off and move on. You are a hero to some of these people. Without your help, what would their world look like?

Good Luck.

Answer 7

I am a registered nurse, i know this sounds harsh but if you let every patient who dies get to you, you'll never be able to work, we all get upset when our patients die but when have another 12 patients to care for you have just got to carry on, some of the patients are terminally ill and are out of pain

Answer 8

I'm extremely curious to know what a mental patient died of "right in front of your eyes"!!. This seems a little bizarre to me. Mental illness isn't usually life threatening and if he did have some medical issue he shouldn't have still been in a mental hospital. I personally need more clarification before I can decide how it is you should be reacting.

Answer 9

I remember loosing my fisrt patient, it was on my birthday actually, 2 years ago. You'll never forget it. It is not your fault, death is not always comfortable, and you cannot change anything now, Im sure you did what you could. You have to remember you were there to help, and you did, you cannot save the world. It sounds like he was lucky to have you with him when he went, atleast he wasnt alone.

Answer 10

nope but I was an ER volunteer so I was surrounded by people dying all the time.

there is absolutely nothing you can do to feel better except to give it time

remember**

time heals all wounds