Here is the breakdown. I come from a blended family and we are about the most passive-agressive bunch you ever did meet! It consists of My dad,step-mom,&two step-brothers. We are all grown children and have families of our own. I am close with my older brother's wife. Here's the problem; Everybody tiptoes around my step-mom. We are all afraid to confront her b/c she will always turn it around, it is NEVER her fault. Since my kids were born my family has been so helpful. I always keep my mouth shut because I do need their help but now I have had enough. She isn't speaking to my dad now b/c they had a disagreement and he used 'tone' with her. Last year she didn't speak to him for about 8 months for the same reason. Now she has been dishing on my husband and who I choose to spend time with (she claims they are trashy and we shouldn't let my kids around these people) she is so judgemental and I am tired of it! She is so nice to your face but don't turn your back! what do i do?
2006-11-17 05:05:40 · 10 answers · asked by piperlouwho 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you really want to keep the peace, swallow the annoyance and ignore her.
It's a no-win situation and you already know that so why stress yourself out over it.
Whenever you are in her company or she does something that aggravates you, count to ten silently. Then smile. After a few times you'll even be able to laugh it off because you'll realize that you are in control- she isn't.
2006-11-17 05:09:30 · answer #1 · answered by Angela 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wifes family is like this...they tiptoe around the brother and it drives me crazy but I've learned to just ignore it. It's not worth the energy. In your case, though I think maybe you should try to talk to your Stepmom and tell her that you feel like she has something against your friends and your husband and it concerns you. Stay calm and be sincere about your feelings. I don't know if it will make anything better but it won't make it any worse and you will have gotten it off your chest. Good Luck.
2006-11-17 06:12:48 · answer #2 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, every family is different and handle things differently. When we have a conflict in my family, I just seem to ignore it all and it will soon pass. I say if your Dad chooses to put up with her silent treatments, then so be it. But I would tell him how she reacts and over-reacts towards you and your brothers. Then if he chooses not to confront her about it, just let him live with her and let him continue to tiptoe. You are grown and have a family of your own and she should not be trying to tell you who to be with or who not to be around. So, ignore her and avoid her and maybe you will have less problems with her.
2006-11-17 05:14:47 · answer #3 · answered by Mandy W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell you dad, who sounds like he's a bit wimpy, that it is her or you, untill she can improve her attitude, you don't want any communication. Get caller ID, don't take his calls, and sure don't take hers.....you would be shocked how much parents don't like it when you tick your kids off to the point that they don't even want to talk to you...my daughter taught me...!!!!! She was upset with me for similar reasons that you are with your step mom...I was wrong, she stopped talking to me and I learned my lesson, now we couldn't be closer.....parents can still learn...you can teach an old dog new tricks...!!!!!
I might also suggest that you email or write the wicked-step-mother a letter and tell her exactly what you think....what do you have to lose????If you could get the sibs to go n on it with you or write letters of their own...all the better. This is eating yo up too much and taking up too much of your time...shes just a nasty old B****...for now, write her off....good luck
2006-11-17 05:16:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a recovering alcoholic and the first thing I learned after getting sober for a few years is that "your family will take you down". For this reason I show up when "I" want to not when they ask........I am happy living a calm and peaceful life. I don't need family I want family. On my terms. Get it?
2006-11-17 05:19:03 · answer #5 · answered by TMAC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably it is best that you distance yourself from her. Don't make a scene nor cause trouble, just see less of her. Act nice in front of her, but beware because you know what she is. Maybe speak to your dad in private as to why you are staying away.
2006-11-17 05:17:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Disassociate yourself from them. Make your own friends, spend more time with your husband's family. And maybe learn to get along without their help. You are grown and have a family of your own- make them a priority.
2006-11-17 05:08:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I even have divorced myself from so-called "kin". Moved directly to much less poisonous drama, thank you very plenty. (kin became no longer geared up to attend to any component of conflict on any point, regrettably)
2016-10-15 16:21:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question. Don't turn your back or ignore any situation. People like her just have to be tolerated. You will never be able to change anything.
2006-11-17 05:08:33 · answer #9 · answered by matters 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you my twin:)?
2006-11-17 05:10:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋