Would you dump your boyfriend/girlfriend of 2 years if you realized the sex doesn't satisfy you? And when I say "doesn't satisfy you", I mean that is the most boring, least exciting thing you've ever done in your entire life. He does make me ***, but I can do that too (and maybe have more fun at it). Considering the rest of the relationship was perfectly ok.
The thing is it's always the same thing!!! I'm the only one bringing something new once in a while and I'm fed up... he could do everything the same way until he dies!
He has no iniciative (while we are at it) whatsoever and he doesn't even try to improve, bring new things into the bedroom... I mean he's the older one, he's the man, he should AT LEAST know what he's doing!
2006-11-17 04:47:03 · 23 answers · asked by mackenzie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please, don't start with that "I have to be the one to make it exciting" c*ap. I'm tired of being the one that has to make it exciting for ME, because he's perfectly fine by it. By the same old boring rutinary sex. (I had sex with him yesterday, and I haven't had sex with him for 2 months... because it's boring and I don't feel like doing it... and I reconfirmed it yesterday).
2006-11-17 04:49:30 · update #1
And NO I haven't cheated on him.
2006-11-17 04:50:10 · update #2
Sometimes I think that he needs a dominant woman in bed and I can't be.
I need a dominant man in bed... and he's not.
2006-11-17 04:58:07 · update #3
I can honestly say I am in exactly the same situation with my wife. Five years of marriage, doing it in the same room of the house, at the same time of night, in the same position, with the lights out is boring me to death! I have suggested trying new positions and new things to spice it up a little bit, but I get the same response every time. She believes, because of her good christian up bringing, that making love in different positions, using different techniques is "immoral" or "dirty." It's killing our relationship and she doesn't seem to care.
I recommend that you leave him and save yourself the same frustration and a potential divorce somewhere down the road! Also, don't make excuses for him based on his age. I am the older of the two in my situation. Age shouldn't be an issue at all.
2006-11-17 05:03:42 · answer #1 · answered by Colonel Angus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to decide what is more important to you. Remember all the other problems you could be having and if the sex if the only one consider yourself lucky. Generally sex will become routine like this in most relationships after some time. It will never be like it was at the beginning. But some of the good parts about being someone for so long is becoming comfortable and not being shy about things like it can be with someone new. Why throw away a good relationship because of something that can be fixed. Talk to him!! That is the most important. Maybe he is shy about things like that. Remember this is extremely common, that is why there are sex therapists and thousands of books out there. Read a womans magazine, we all experience this. If you decide to break up how do you know it want happen again.
2006-11-17 04:55:18 · answer #2 · answered by April0404 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who ever told you that being a man and older means you automatically know how to make love to a woman. Not so.
Men in general tend to not be spontaneous. If something is working why fix it?
So what does that mean? he may have no idea that this is not enough for you. You reach orgasm and no doubt sound like it. He has done that for you so thinks he has been considerate of you.....unlike so many other men.
And what is wrong with you changing things. Telling him what you want or like. Telling that you don't want to do it the same way every time. Give him some ideas.
He may love to do it doggy style but thinks that will not stimulate you enough and so doesn't even try.
If he always tries to make you reach orgasm it says one thing. He loves you and is very considerate of you. He may very well want to do it differntly but is not sure...and may be afraid to ask....if you want something else.
Is he kind of a shy guy? If so you have your answer.
Talk to him and tell him just what you have told the world.
You want verity and want him to try other things.
But don't expect him to know what is good for you unless you tell him.
But guess what. He thinks he is doing it right. He no doubt thinks you are good with it all otherwise you wouldn't be reaching a climax. Set him straight.
2006-11-17 05:05:36 · answer #3 · answered by John B 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the only problem that you have with this guy is a boring sex life, then lady, you have it made. Does he treat you well? Watch out for you? Is he a gentleman? What are his other qualities?
If all you're looking for is a good sex partner, then yes, leave him, but if you are looking for a meaningful relationship and he has all of the other qualities that you look for in a partner, then no, stay with him.
You don't say whether or not you've even spoken to him in regards to this. Have you tried talking to him and telling him what you want? The next time you two have sex, before you do anything at all, stand in front of him and ask him what he wants you to do to him, if he doesn't tell you, then do nothing at all. Force him to be a participant in the events.
2006-11-17 04:56:38 · answer #4 · answered by tipper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not try to liven things up some? With a good commited relationship it might not be worth it to stay thru bad sex, but it sure as heck is worth working on the bad sex. Who knows? It might get a lot better with a little time spent.
2016-03-28 23:36:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he DOES know what he's doing - he's doing what works for him. If he wants YOU to be happy, he'll be more open to trying new things. Make sure he knows that's what you need.
I'm sorry to report that, in my experience, most men are just like him. Leaving him doesn't mean you're going to find a new bf that's any different. But if you can make him see that sex is so much better when BOTH of you are truly satisfied, maybe there's hope...
2006-11-17 04:52:18 · answer #6 · answered by 40yomama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if I were you I would have to say " bring your A game cuz what your doing is boring and if you don't your butt is out the door. I need something more exciting and fulfilling in our sex life" but thats just me, I am a guy. I already know that if you dont change it up you are gonna loose her.
2006-11-17 05:05:10 · answer #7 · answered by krazeetingtong 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before dumping him I would talk to him. Tell him how concerned you are about this. If he still makes no effort, then end the relationship. Obviously sex is important in a relationship and if you aren't enjoying and he doesn't care enough to change that then you need to move on.
2006-11-17 04:51:38 · answer #8 · answered by libra1079 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are really not satisfied with the sex tell him and if that dont work find you a man that knows what he's doing life it too short.
2006-11-17 04:51:35 · answer #9 · answered by nikki_75426 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes dump him. If everything else is perfectly ok but you're disappointed in the bedroom, let him go find a girl who thinks he's fantastic and exciting. He deserves it
2006-11-17 04:51:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋