The man I've been dating for 6 and a half months, I see about 3 or 4 times a week and I feel like I don't have enough me time. I love spending time with him but that's just how I'm starting to feel now which is why I never brought it up to him before. I want to spend less time with time with him so that I don't feel smothered, but I also don't want him to feel like I don't want to be with him. I want to be with him.
So I'm asking how can I bring it up and ask that we spend a little less time together so he doesn't get the wrong idea (that I don't want to be with him and am slowly distancing myself or something negative like that)?
Thanks for answering.
2006-11-17 04:41:07 · 10 answers · asked by hearts99992000 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
there really is not an easy way about this, just tell him the truth, and hopefully you both can come to an agreement, and if he isn't ok with it, then you deserve better... we all know what its like to need our space, and since you are not married, then you don't need to spend every moment together... you both still need to grow as your own person, and also be able to grow together in the relationship, and you need a healthy balance in the time you spend together and apart... communication is so important, so don't wait too long to talk it over, or you may begin to hold a grudge... I did that once, and ended up messing it up big time!
2006-11-17 04:45:52 · answer #1 · answered by lily 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about the truth? In a nice way....
Like: " I am reading this really good book, and need some quiet time- but we will see each other Thursday and I can't wait...."
Another way: I really like our relationship because it feels like a true partnership. But in order to stay the person you love I need to be able to do some things on my own. I think it is important for a good relationship to continue to grow as an individual to bring something into the relationship to keep it from stagnating.
2006-11-17 12:50:58 · answer #2 · answered by Avie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him exactly what you just wrote. You really enjoy spending time with him and want to continue spending time with him, but you also feel like you need more "down" time for yourself. Tell him you hesitated bringing it up, but at the same time don't want him to just assume that you suddenly aren't into him, which isn't the case at all. Just be very honest. If he's mature enough and secure enough, your honest request shouldn't be a problem.
2006-11-17 12:47:08 · answer #3 · answered by archgrrrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with rich2481- don't have a big Conversation. Just tell him "I'm going to the ___ (fill in the blank.. gym, movies, out with girls, shopping, get hair cut, watch favorite show..) on Tuesday. Lets plan on ___ together on Saturday night." Be your own best friend and you'll be more interesting anyway.
2006-11-17 12:45:33 · answer #4 · answered by ShortnSweet 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any thing you do is going to make him feel alienated so just be up front with him and tell him the truth if he is to hurt and doesn't understand than was it really meant to be ?
2006-11-17 12:44:50 · answer #5 · answered by Lab Runner 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes the last answer is very good.Get involved with something with kids or church or take on a hobby.Good luck I hope you don't lose him.
2006-11-17 12:47:51 · answer #6 · answered by I'm Jerry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you need a weekly ladies night in which you are going to schedule with your girlfriends
2006-11-17 12:43:15 · answer #7 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very contradictory in your thought process.First decide as to what you really like,his company or hisabsence.
2006-11-17 12:46:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont bring it up, just kinda cool it,, find a excuse of doing something on the days you normally see him
2006-11-17 12:42:45 · answer #9 · answered by rich2481 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know what your going thru.... im going thru it with my girl.... the best thing you could is talk to him cause if you dont things aint going to change....its not like they do it on purpose its just there persenality..... if you dont there is going to be problems or your going to brake up............i should take my own advice
2006-11-17 12:47:49 · answer #10 · answered by sam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋