I'm deeply in love with a girl and she doesnt understand why I allow her to try to make things work out with her former boyfriend, I told her that it was important that this work out or the relationship
between her and I simply wont have a future if any at all. We talked today and because he's coming around more she felt its better that we be friends I agreed, with the realization that I might just lose her. Im a true believer that this is the best for the both of us so she would have a clearer understanding of whom she wants to be with, is this the wrong thing to do ?,or am I right
she truly feels that what I'm willing to do isnt normal, but i just have this feeling inside me that by allowing her to try to iron things out with her former boyfriend is the best way, if I try to make her stay away from him and he's comes around she'll probably would done it behind my back. Need help please anyone that has gone through this please tell me I would really like a womans point of view.
2006-11-17 04:05:06 · 5 answers · asked by Douglas N 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is very enlightened and selfless of you, to want her to be absolutely sure if her previous relationship is over or could still work out. I do think it isn't "normal" in the sense that most people are selfish and want the person they "love" to themselves. "They say if you love someone set them free" and that is what you're doing, I think you are doing the right thing here. If she comes back and chooses you, it will be that much better for having the chance to make that choice more consciously.
2006-11-17 04:30:47 · answer #1 · answered by zmj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see two possibilities here:
1) You will probably lose her. It is not likely she feels about you the way that you feel about her, and it's clear she has a lot of unresolved issues regarding the ex that she SHOULD have worked out before beginning a relationship with you. Especially since she suddenly "wants to be just friends". That's an indicator that the chick doesn't know what the heck she wants, and as much as you love her it's much better and healthier for you to simply remove yourself from the situation. Your outlook is noble, and yes, it's nice to "think" that by letting someone go she will return to you if it's meant to be, but I doubt that will be the case here.
2) An alternative is that she WANTS you to fight for her, to give her a reason not to go back to the old boyfriend. Sometimes men can get their claws into us and it's really hard for us to turn away from them, no matter how badly we want to. A friend of mine had a very hard time getting over her last boyfriend, and it took her many, many months to be able to say, I'm moving forward, not backward. My ex boyfriend had his claws in me big time, and I had to take nearly a year to recover from him (this was longer than we'd dated) before I could honestly say that if he showed up on my doorstep and begged me to take him back I'd say, "Sorry" and close the door. This may be that situation for her, and she may want you to say, "I don't want you to talk to him" because she's not strong enough to cut him off herself.
Hopefully this helps.
2006-11-17 04:32:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well un-fourtantly theres nothing you can do but wait it out since if they alredy broke up then it will happen again so wait and ukk have her back eventually
2006-11-17 04:14:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! your attitude is confusing but noble.
2006-11-17 04:10:58 · answer #4 · answered by fafayo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can sugest that peaple are diferent and she have to accept
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2006-11-17 04:16:46 · answer #5 · answered by c g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋