I heard from some other parents that a good way to see what your kids are up to is to get a "myspace" ID and pretend to be their age and get them to add you to their friends list. This is the only way to see into their pages.
Well, I did this. I pretended to be a teenage boy and got her to add me to her list. I've been doing this for a couple of weeks now and we have become very close. Although, as her father I know she has been lying to me about her age. She's 13 but she says she's 16.
Well, 5 nights ago she asked me if I wanted to "cyber." I thought this was some kind of game, but then she started describing all the sexual acts she was "doing" to me. In all the police movies they say to never break your "cover" so I had no choice but to respond likewise. Now we've been cybering for the last 5 nights and what I want to know is how the heck does she know all these sex moves at 13 and how long should I keep doing this with her before I confront her about it?
2006-11-17 03:48:55 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
myspace is nothing but trouble for a girl her age.
she should really be spending more quality time with her father - we all know that TALKING never got anything accomplished.
2006-11-20 01:55:26 · answer #1 · answered by catfish_alomar_jr 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. No, myspace is not safe for your daughter. You are her father and need to protect her from it, no matter how mad she may get or how unfair you may think she is being.
2. No way on earth should you be having cyber sex with your daughter, even for a "good cause". You need to quit now!!
3. She probably either heard about the sex moves from her friends or learned them by having cyber sex with others.
4. Do not tell her you are that boy. That would mess her up really good and she might report you to authorities. Just sit down and talk to her. Tell her you read her online conversations and you know what she's been doing online. See what she says. Then tell her why you think it's not okay. Make sure to listen as well as talk, but ultimately you are the parent.
2006-11-17 11:57:17 · answer #2 · answered by AerynneC 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Um .... I seriously hope this is a troll post. I'll pretend it's not just long enough to say this.
You cybered with your daughter? Not once, but 5 times. Why in the hell would you not confront her the first time you noticed she was lying about her age? Or at anytime before hand? You're a little late to start instilling proper code of conduct, since children learn by example .. and you are definately not providing one.
Go ahead and confront her now, and tell her that her behavior is wrong .... then try to explain to her how you justify your own.
2006-11-17 11:53:17 · answer #3 · answered by Jaded 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Holy Testicles, Batman.
Well, my first advice is to stop talking dirty with your daughter. That kinda crosses the line from investigative parenting, and flows into what can easily be percieved as perversion (even though your intentions are good). I would definitely stop that.
Secondly, I wouldn't mention the incidents to her at all. Can you imagine how embarassing it would be to hear that your own father has been pretending to be a teenage boy and talking dirty with you? Don't embarass her like that. Let the "boy" get busy with offline things and go away. You don't have to tell her that you were spying on her by pretending to be him. I would advise against it. Aside from embarassment, she'll lose her trust in you. Kids are fragile at that age.
And, kids at 13 know a lot. Everyone's going through puberty, and so they hear all their classmates talking about sex all the time... even if they don't really understand it, or its ramifications. She's developing normally, though it is of some concern. My worry is that she would 1. Have sex before she's an adult, or 2. Fall prey to a pedophile on the internet (especially by telling people she's 16).
There is software you can buy that will "spy" on your daughter without you having to infiltrate her little world like that. You don't have to ever tell her you've done it. If it worries you at the results (or already does), tell her that you've decided she's not old enough to use the internet for recreation and take her computer priviledges away except to do homework or use under adult supervision. She'll be furious, but you don't have to explain yourself. You're the parent, here. You make the rules. :-)
I would, however, first suggest you guys talk - communicate - about sex and growing up and all of that stuff. Don't bring up the computer stuff, just be open and honest and let her know it's ok to have certain feelings growing up but she needs to treat them in a healthy way. You can ease your way into the computer restrictions, and hopefully keep her trust in the process. It's about her safety and security.
2006-11-17 12:00:26 · answer #4 · answered by Big G 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Unplug her computer and take it away.
Actually I think you made this whole thing up. Why chat with her when you could have told her "I gotta go."
If this is real, check out the NBC Dateline series called "To Catch a Predator." A group called Perverted Justice pretends to be an underage kid online and when adults solicit them for sex they arrange to meet at the "kid's " house with the parents away.
The perv shows up to have sex with a kid as young as 13 as gets his mug on camera and then he's arrested. It is scary stuff.
Go through the site and see what you can do to protect your kid:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10912603/
I would start with seizing the computer and arranging to pick up her after school. You don't ever have to tell her you were online too.
If this is for real she has put herself at risk not only by the way she is chatting with strangers, but also by claiming to be the age of legal consent to have sex. Claiming to be 16 has opened the door to all sorts of men who might be afraid of approaching a 15 year old but a 16 is fair game.
Keep her safe even if she says she hates you. It is better than drying her tears later or burying her.
PS In Texas it is a felony to solicit sex from a minor even if you never leave your house or meet them in person. Are you in Texas?
2006-11-17 12:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by bookmom 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's sick that you've been having cyber sex with your daughter. You should have confronted her the first time you noticed she was being unsafe, or inappropriate. You should take her computer away and limit use to homework only. If it's in her room remove it and put it in a room where you can be checking on her while she's on it.
I just looked at some of your other questions, like the one about wanting to give your son Viagra before a swim meet to play a joke on him. I'm assuming this is a fake question too.
2006-11-17 11:52:39 · answer #6 · answered by Melissa 7 · 4⤊ 2⤋
I wouldn't confront her about you posing as a friend of hers on myspace, I would just tell her you've decided that it's not appropriate for her to be on. Telling her she's been cybering with her father is likely to cause a great deal of embarrasment, for both of you, so just play the role of parent and don't let her on myspace anymore.
2006-11-17 11:54:15 · answer #7 · answered by angelbaby 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
You're a pig for making light of real problems that real people have. What kind of sicko are you for even imagining having a child you could cyber with? Anyone here who thinks your question is 'real,' is about as nuts as you.
Trolling is one thing, but you are one truly sick individual. Get help, scumbag.
2006-11-17 12:04:41 · answer #8 · answered by tagi_65 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU should confront her now! I actually wonder if this is a sick joke. Who would cyber with their own child. If its not a joke, then you should revoke her priveleges now. She may hate you for awhile but thats part of raising a teenager. As for how she knows that much about sex well you have your answer in front of you. The internet!!
2006-11-17 11:56:56 · answer #9 · answered by April0404 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You should have confronted her right after you found out what 'cybering' is!! Mentally you've been having sex with your daughter!! What was the point of keeping this going for five nights?!? Confront her! There is no reason to keep it going!
2006-11-17 11:53:08 · answer #10 · answered by BlairBear 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It's not myspace's fault if your daughter is using it that way; I know a lot of people who just chat around with friends there or check out new bands. In my opinion, you should focus on your daughter's way of thinking and real-life activities and friends. The way we use the internet is usually just a reflection of real life.
2006-11-17 12:06:50 · answer #11 · answered by darkmoon_reddawn_folkdomination 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋