do you think im being treated unfairly?

Question

I had my 2 children taken away from me a year ago because my son was a runner and got out of the house when i was busy with the other child they are 2 and 3 now i use to pride myself on being a good mother but i was serverly depressed at the time because my daughters twin died in the hopsital at 6 days old since then i have attended alchol treatment parenting classes medication for my depression i see a counsolor i got re mearried we both work full time we have a nice house with a fenced yard we have a car but they are still giveing me crap because the foster mom is best friends with the case worker and she wants to keep my kids.i went to court on sep 1 and the judge kicked the case worker off the case but i still feel the opinon is bias i never hurt my kids or yelled at them they always had everything they needed and i love them very much I was just very depressed at t hat tiime i dont feel like the babies should have been taken away from me to begin with .

I see mothers around here that kids are filthy outside with no shoes they dont put them in car seats and they scream at them why are they picking on me? instead of getting the motheres who deserve this it makes me sick.what should I do?

oh about the alcholic thing the childrens father came and tore my house up beat me up and left beer cans everywhere the cops got called and they came in and saw the beer cans and since he was no where around they assumed they were mine i live in a small town with one cop so it got reported to dfs thats why i had to attend the classes

Answer 1

It sounds like you've done everything possible to get your life straightened out. Good for you...I think you will get your kids back eventually. Now that there's a new case worker maybe things will change. Keep up the good work and keep praying. I hope things will work out for you.

Answer 2

I can not even imagine what it must be like to have my children taken from me. I would be devastated. As far as the runner goes. I know exactly what your talking about. My oldest was terrible. But there are little things you learn to do to make life a little easier. If you set him down for one second, he would be off and running, he was a little over 2 at the time, and I had a 6 week old.
One thing I always did was to put a lock on all the doors that led outside, (because when he learned how to open the door, he was gone,) and made sure he could not reach them. When we went to walmart, I would drive around, not to find the closest parking spot to th front, but until I found one next a buggy. I learned to never put him on the ground... lol strait from the car to he basket. Sure made it easier.... but we are not talking about my life... so...

I say this with nothing but concern and care, but honesty is always the best policy. I find it hard to believe that this was the ffirst time that something like this happened. You may have lost a child, but you still have two that need you. Sounds like you let yourself get depressed, and turned to alcahol to help you tthrough. It would be way too easy to say poor me. But the truth iis, that you probably needed a wake up call, and i hope this did it for you.

The courts are not going to make a hastey decision here, they are not there for you, they are there to see that your kids are taken care of, and that they do what is in that child's best interest. However, it sounds to me like you are on the right track, keep doing what your doing. They want to know that this is just some fleeing change, that as soon as you have your kids back, and the courts aren't breathing down your back, that you won't just let things go again. They just need some reassurance that your children are going to be ok. The only thing that will prove that is time, and until then, just keep doing what your doing. I pray that you children are home soon, and you can pick up the pieces and put it all back together again, a family is a precious thing, and well worth all the hard work. Good luck with everything. I will be praying...

Answer 3

Let's see if I got this right. You have 2 children who were taken away from you a year ago because your son was outside unsupervised. This is because he is a runner and you had alcohol dependency and depression about losing a baby a year before that. You didn't mention the father of the twins so I'm assuming he wasn't in the picture at the time. In this past year, you have gotten a house, a job, and a car, which leads me to assume that you had none of these at the time your children were taken away. I honestly don't think you have had time to prove yourself to be dependable yet. Kids lives should be about stability. Just looking at the changes in your lifestyle in the past year screams that there is very little stability in your life. Give it some more time and prove yourself.

Answer 4

I'm 32 and have been a foster parent for 5 1/2 years and have had 106 kids in our home.What state are you in?I'm in Idaho.I could talk your ear off girl,lol but i do know when the case gets an attorney it's hard,it sounds like you are doing wonderfull and we are all proud of you.Alot of times it depends on how long your kids been into care depense on when or if u get them back.My kids that i'm adopting(3)My boy i've had since he was 4 weeks and his 2 sisters.There dad has called once and seen them 2 times in 18 or 19 months so it takes awahile to see if the kids will go back.it's been 2 1/2 years now and we are going to adopt them but it could still be a year because untill the judge tells the case worker what to do it's in his hand,if you want to talk write me.

Answer 5

You have to stop thinking of yourself and think of your kids. I'm not being mean here. But seriously step back and ask yourself what is better for the kids. It seems you have a multitude of problems and the fact that your son was a runner wasn't one of them. I had 4 under the age of 6 and they were a handful. Of course, you've had a lot to deal with. Honestly, have you gotten the help you needed? It seems at one point you were putting alcohol ahead of your kids and while other too do that your situation got you caught and someone determined it was in those kids best interest to be somewhere else. Do you still go to meetings? IF not, I strongly suggest you do and document that for the court. Has your depression been treated? If so have your doctor document that for you to present to the Court.
So take stock of your situation and stop being the victim. If you want your kids back, earn it! Get a lawyer experienced in this type of matter and start doing what you need to do for the kids.

And though I extend my deepest condolences on your loss, I find it extremely odd that your say "my daughter's twin died" Um, wouldn't she have been YOUR DAUGHTER. You refer to her in a very strange way.

AS TO YOUR ADDITIONAL:
Come on! Stop playing the victim. It is time to plug in and LIVE YOUR LIFE. You only get ONE SHOT and time is a wasting. Grab hold of yourself, get the help you need, you have issues to deal with, it will take time but you can do it. But not if you are always singing poor me.

Answer 6

Honey everybody goes through stages of depression when a family member dies it's called GRIEVING! This was your child. You should have had someone helping you. Another family member should have offered to assist you with your kids and gave you time alone to grieve.No it's not fair! You lost your baby and instead of people reaching out to help you they took advantage of you and took your children. Turning to alcohol to relieve you pain was a mistake but you have chosen to admit your past mistakes and correct them by seeking professional help. If the Judge is bias demand a retrial on the basis of discrimination if he has a relationship with the case worker he had to kick off the case he probably is bias and he needs to be disbarred.

Answer 7

Sara J,

Being someone who is sober I understand your hopeless despair. Are you still sober? First don't compare yourself to other mothers or what they are doing. You are powerless over everyone and everything but your own actions. Do the right thing for yourself and your kids and the right thing will work out. No court in America will take kids away for one incident. I'm not questioning you but is there more to the story? Do you or your new hubby have arrest records? The court will tke that into consideration. I reccomend you go to AA, couselling and continue to take care of yourself. If you get your life in complete order and continue to stay sober I promise you you will get your kids back when the time is right.

God Bless,

John M

Answer 8

Sounds as though you have a got alot of stuff going on. Keep doing the right thing, pray, i believe prayers are the answer to everything. Ask God for guidance and wisdom. Try it, you will be amazed at how well it works. It sounds as though you are being treated very unfairly. Can you contact an attorney, this may be your best bet. Good luck and God bless*

Answer 9

yes I think it is unfair I always tell my hubby that you cant trust cys they always attack the good moms and the bad moms cases are dismissed, I remember this one time I was living with a roommate and her boyfriend and her daughter were there she got a snorkel and made her daughter who was only 3 smoke hash so I called the cys on her and reported it to them they came to the house and just asked her if she did that (of course she said no) and that was it no further investigation the case was dismissed. and it pisses me off more when DR. Phil is on TV saying I know cys I worked with them they wouldn't do that. its like ya because they are working with you duh my mother got investigated because my sisters who were 10 and 11 went outside to ride there bikes while they were waiting for my mom to come outside they rode there bike in this parking lot type cold a sack thing and some one called the cops and my mom she was outside by then they were out of site for like 30 sec. alone and my mom was only 10 feet away cys stayed on the case for 3 months . I hate them

I feel so bad for you I hope people come to their seances and you get your kids back god bless you and may the lord give you the strength to fight back

Answer 10

A nice house and a car are not enough if the mother is an alcoholic and is neglecting the welfare of her kids. It sounds like you are on the right track to getting your children back. I hope you can convince the authorities. Good luck.