I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We met and immeadiatley became very serious. we got a new apartment together 6 months ago and have both met each other's families (everyone loves each other and gets along!)
This has really been a dream realtionship for me and he says the same. Even thought its been a year and a half he began bringing up our future at around the 4 month mark. (he talks all the time about our "future children".) We've gone to 3 weddings together, had a great time.
I guess with the holidays coming up and the fact that all of our friends thought we'd be hitched aldready is making me crazy. why hasn't he proposed? I bring it up and he says that i shoudln't worry about that now, but if not now, when? We're both almost 30, have great jobs and and make each other laugh. I am getting frustrated. I have also said in passing that I don't even want a ring, I just want to be his wife, but still nothing. He says I'm his soul mate, why won't he propose?
2006-11-17 02:47:09 · 44 answers · asked by Arlo J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
He knows, you know, you both know that is going to happen. You just have to be patient and wait. He knows that you are the one for him and if you have already discussed marriage and children, then it's a clear indication that it's going to happen soon.
Men that don't commit won't even mention the "m" word and will back off at the minimum indication of getting too close or too serious. He is not scared about discussing marriage with you because you are the one for him.
Don't set deadlines or ultimatums or conditions for it to happen, they are NOT necesary. Accorduing to what you wrote, he is planning on doing it so don't spoil his plans by becoming frustrated and impatient.
Most couples get engaged by their second anniversary, besides, Christmas, New years and Valentine's day are around the corner too, you might be in for a surprise.
My advice to you is to wait until your second anniversary before becoming anxious. It's not necesary for you to feel this way, you have the perfect man, ther perfect relationship, so don;t ruin it by becoming irritated.
He will ask you and there is no question about it, wait a little bit more... proposals are way more romantic when they are a surprise and men really love plan something special and having the perfect ring ... let him give you what you deserve ...let him surprise you and enjoy the relationship.
He is THE ONE sweetie... be patient.
Congratulations and good luck!
2006-11-17 05:42:14 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's just not ready. It's not like you've been together for that long. A year and a half really isn't that long at all. Maybe he wants to accomplish other things in his life first, getting a promotion or having enough money saved to support a family. Guys mature slower then girls, if you two are happy and in love and living together, what is the rush, it will happen when it is meant to happy. I would stop worrying so much. And who cares what other people think - that you should be married by now, wouldn't you rather it happen when it's right then rush into something and it cause maybe fighting in the future because of unresolved issues that he may have and lead to divorce.
2006-11-17 03:08:08 · answer #2 · answered by strtat2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in kinda the same situation - I've been with my fella 3 years and met in much the same way as you describe. We are also both approaching 30.
He is either planning it and wants it to be very special and a suprise [this is the answer i got when i asked my man], or sadly now he has his cake and has eaten it [sorry ...]. Some guys like to be incontrol of the asking also and so wont answer/ask on demand.
However, i would just enjoy your time together for now and maybe only worry once you see the four yr mark - afterall you're only just into a year and half??? Ive learnt after many a painstaking/teary night that there is always time. Marriage is long enough :) [you'd hope].
in anycase hope that helps - good luck
2006-11-17 03:03:03 · answer #3 · answered by spirit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very lucky to be in such a loving relationship...feel blessed because some folks have a hard time keeping the ones they love. The fact that you're almost 30 shouldn't have anything to do with getting married. People are getting married older and older now and it isn't odd to be dating for 5-8+ years before even getting engaged. When he is ready, he'll ask you!! Don't let it keep you up at night because life is too short to worry about things like that...just keep making each other laugh and be happy!
2006-11-17 04:49:09 · answer #4 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not the best question to ask a bunch of biased people in the weddings forum for a straight answer, but I will try ...
Marriage isn't for everyone. He may just want to be with you for the rest of your life as your soul mate. You can love each other and live together and have a family without being married.
However, if it is marriage that you want, you have to be clear with him. You have to let him know that the marriage of the two of you is important to you and if you can't have that, then you need to honest with yourself about the future of your relationship.
You shouldn't be in a relationship with someone if your future goals as partners is so drastically different. This may be difficult for you, but if you aren't on the same page, the relationship will eventually have to come to an end.
-EZ
2006-11-17 04:58:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting married isn't everything you sound like you are in a good relationship. Rushing into marriage will only end in tears it's best to take time. My friend has been with the same man for 6 years and neither of them have even considered proposing. Your man will do it when he feels ready - it doesn't mean he loves you any less. Just chill out and enjoy his company. The time will come one day when you can wear your white dress I promise. Have fun xxx
2006-11-17 02:59:35 · answer #6 · answered by renaultfi69 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are a few reasons to tht:
1. he is not ready for such a commitment; some men have a phobia towards marriage, they prefer companionship without the responsibilities of a marriage
2. he doesn't want to get married; some men prefer to stay single forever; they just don't see the reason for them to get married. it's a selfish thinking but still some men do think like tht
3. he is financially not ready
4. he is not sure if you are the right one for him; you feel tht he is the right one for you but you will never know what he really feels inspite of the sweet things he tell you
the solution - there is no point guessing over the reason. you need to talk to him and tell him your wish to get married. there is nothing shameful about it. find out the reason and solve the problem together. if he belongs to type 2 (above) then you need to make a decision whether to continue the relationship. good luck.
2006-11-17 03:00:00 · answer #7 · answered by caterpillar 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's just not ready.
I'm going through the same thing right now. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. We've talked about marriage and kids. We're starting to think about looking into buying a house. All his friends and family are telling him to propose. He even took me to look at rings 8 months or so ago. Yet, he hasn't made a single move. He's just not ready to take the plunge yet.
Be patient. I know its difficult. But you can't rush it.
2006-11-17 02:57:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Arlo!
It seems to me that he really does love you and definitely sees it in your future, hence the talking about it and looking at rings. Could be a financial reason why he hasn't bought you a ring, or it could be because he wants to surprise you. Don't pressure him about it but just sit him down and have a talk and say, I'd like to to this by X (5 years, 10 years, etc--well not that long, but you know) and I'm sure he'll be willing to hear you out. It sounds like you guys have a really good thing. Be glad you have someone that loves you and you love back! It truly is rare and special! :) Good luck and keep us posted!
2006-11-17 03:49:27 · answer #9 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know guys are weird about that sort of thing, but he may be waiting for the right time to propose or he may like what you guys have right now and may not wont to rush it. Dont let others be involved with that situation by putting ideas in your head, it causes stress and no one likes stress. I wouldnt worry about it to much and just enjoy what you have right now, the day will come and im sure it will be worth the wait. You seem very happy and im glad to hear that someone has a relationship like that, you dont find many like yours.
2006-11-17 02:59:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋