Self-esteem issues?

Question

You'll have to trust me when I say that I think she really believes herself when she tells me (and I've heard it a few times) that I am"too good for her". Anyone else ever been in something like this? If I try harder, I think she thinks I'm "lying". If I try less, I think she thinks to herself, "I was right". If anybody's willing to admit having this problem, and hopefully overcame it, could you suggest what may have instigated the change?

Answer 1

II have had self esteem issues all my life. Unless you have it is very hard to understand. I attended a seminar once and heard perhaps the best description I have ever heard.

When a self conscious person meets someone the know they will not like them. So they say nothing.
When a person with good self esteem meets someone they know they will like them and will walk right up and say HI!

Please have patience. Look for ways to build her up. Never put her down. You are right she will be convinced of that. The more you build her up and she sees for herself that you mean it the more she will come to accept it.

There is no need to try hard. Just be yourself and present to her your trust and love. When she says that you are too good for her just tease her and say "yes I am....what are you going to do for me". You must use good judgment about teasing because what others will know is teasing she may not. When you say something like that just smile at her.

I can tell you this. People who have self esteem problems...regardless of how it seems...are the most caring people you will run across. So when she says I love you there need not be any doubt. And I really don't think she would until she knew she was for sure.

You are right...people with esteem problems constantly look for the true meaning behind what people say. They have learned...perhaps erroneously…..that people lie and so can only trust when they know in their heart that person is trustworthy. Be that person for her and you will do just fine.

Answer 2

I use to have a very big self-esteem issue and i use to tell my man the same thing .......he help me out alot it took a while but i finally realized i was wrong for feeling this way about my self he never stop telling me he loved me and that i was beautiful ....he always had a flower for me even if it was of the garden and pick it .......always nice and held my hand he was never afraid to show affection in front of family and friends you know decent affectation not buck wild stuff and like i said just telling me he loved me even when i didn't believe it but now things have changed i know he loves me he put up with all my mood swings and bad self-esteem and are relationship is so great now ............good luck