Me and my guy have been living together for 2yrs now he is cool when it is just me and him but whenever we go out to hang with friends he doesnt talk. He doesnt say a word!
Even if its his friends, my friends or friends we both had before getting together. He just doesnt talk.
I used to be crazy out-going talk to anyone and be all cool with that ya know? But whenever me and my guy go out and he doesnt say anything it makes me really uncomfortable and then I dont talk either! so its just the two of us sittin there not talkin to anyone.
But me being me sometimes I get over it and talk but that makes me uncomfortable too cuz its just me and his friend talking and My guy says i have a too flirty personality.
So what the h ell am I supposed to do when we hang out with people?
Is it me? we arent going to have any friends soon if this keeps up! I like hanging out with people but not when I feel uncomfortable talking because my man who i am there with wont say a word!!!!
2006-11-17 01:51:32 · 17 answers · asked by The Weed Fairy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have a similiar problem with my guy wh is somewhat anti-social..
He only speaks if he has something to say..as he puts it..LOL
I found out, if you talk about some of the things in life he is really ..REALLY..Into...He will speak..
Trust me, had this issue since 1993..it will be ok..
2006-11-17 02:00:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's not actually 'anti-social' - THAT term is worse than you know. It means he also wants to do harm to people as well as avoid them! So he's unsociable. So what! Lots of people just don't like other people very much or being sociable. Making friends while you're in a relationship can cause problems. It seems that most people in this world are not looking for friendship - they want sex and they want a mate. When couples add friends to the mix, you should be very careful of who you let in. If they are good people who respect your relationship and they aren't up your ***, then it can be a good thing. He probably isn't going to become a social deb, nor will he stick around with you running around with friends while he's home, either. Make a friend or two and once a month or so, have them over for dinner and a movie.
2006-11-17 02:05:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Has he always been socially awkward or uncomfortable. Try to get him to open up as to why he conducts himself in this manner. He may be intimidated by your outgoing ways. Does he have is own set of friends and does he act differently around them. Be very, very wary of someone that acts completely different when not alone with you. Is he the controlling type? It seems he has insecurity issues and maybe has a problem when the spotlight is on you. This gives me a bad feeling and I feel you may need to re-evaluate this relationship. A socially backward partner will only become more and more of an anchor. Watch out if he is controlling in other aspects of your life.
2006-11-17 02:06:01 · answer #3 · answered by CoolOakLuke 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's not you. I know you dont want to hear this, but if he is saying you are flirting just for talking to people, then he sounds like a jerk. Anyway, it is your choice to be with him. So, have you ever asked him why he doesnt talk? Maybe he is shy, has social anxiety disorder, or hates going out.
It sounds like he is not willing to compromise or change for you and you are the one doing all the compromising. You need to figure out if you want to be in a relationship where you are giving more than the other person. Also, if you are willing to give up essential traits in yourself, such as being outgoing, and he is not willing to even try to be a little more outgoing, it probably is like that in other aspects of your relationship as well. You need to figure out if this is really the right relationship for you.
If you think that it is, then you are just going to have to deal with his behavior since he's not going to change. Be outgiong and do what you want anyway. It is not flirting. if you have to deal with him and his faults, he can deal with you being outgoing.
2006-11-17 02:03:04 · answer #4 · answered by Chrissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well ask him why? maybe he just didn't feel like going out, but went out because you wanted to. Not sure what you do when you go out, but maybe do an activity instead of just sitting around with friends talking. Bowling, pool, darts whatever draw the competitive spirit into things then he will probably start talking.
Maybe you are flirty, maybe he is jealous of you? Could be many things. But sounds like its converstation time.
2006-11-17 02:00:14 · answer #5 · answered by imrtl 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
People do not change. If you are talkative and he is not, you must accept that. More importantly, so does he.
If he wants to be in a group and say nothing, that's fine as long as he does not comment on you when you have fun.
Otherwise, if you do not like this, it may be time to trade him in for for a new model.
2006-11-17 01:59:50 · answer #6 · answered by ignoramus 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can never change someone else, you can only change yourself and how you react to them.
He had to have been the quiet type when you started with him. What changed that now it isn't attractive to you anymore?
And why should you stop talking to your friends because he doesn't do it? You are allowing his behavior to determine your behavior. Do you think that's healthy?
You can't change him. So then the question becomes, do you change how you react to him or let him go?
It's up to you.
2006-11-17 02:00:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is called passive agressive behavior. He's getting his way and his point across with this behavior because he knows it bothers you. You can't really change your personality and why should you become anti-social just because of his jealousy? If you really want to stay with this creep, ignore his behavior when you're out and he'll look like the as*shole that he is. OR....kick him to the curb, honey. You deserve a man who respects you and doesn't try to control you in public. That is humiliating! Godloveya.
2006-11-17 01:59:58 · answer #8 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hmm.. this is somekind of things happened before to me.. is he shy or is he jus plain anti-sosial kind of people??
i understand how uncomfortable it is when u talk a lot and someone else doesnt really talk a lot.. well u have to get over it.. jus talk like usual and dun talk when u dun wan to.. jus be yourself..
2006-11-17 01:59:57 · answer #9 · answered by WM 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he always this quiet....even when he is with you? Sounds like you two have 2 different personalities....Are you into this guy? I mean do you want a long standing relationship with him?
Because if this is his personality......hes not going to change, hes just a quiet person....
Ask yourself....if this is going to be worth it??
Good Luck to you and the non talker!!!!
2006-11-17 02:01:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋